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How do you deal with over bearing grandmother?

1 reply

expuffinbookclub · 05/07/2014 09:54

My 3 year old son is my parents only grandson (I'm an only child). My parents are thrilled to have a grandson but I find my mother's attention towards him overbearing. She constantly makes statements like "He's all we talk/think about" and tells me she sits looking at photographs of him on her phone every evening. She buys endless gifts and clothes for him and is obviously jealous of the other grandparents, often making snide comments about them to me. She wrote me a nasty 8 page letter when I gave my son my partner's surname (not mine) about how people might think I was a surrogate mother (bizarre) and how, since my Dad is unwell, I should have used the family surname. This week-end my partner has taken my son to the other grandparents so that I can have a rest as I am pregnant. It's the first time I've been away from my son over night. My mum has been texting and phoning to ask "if I'm alright since I must feel strange without my son" and how she will be "relieved" when he returns. Her initial response to the news he would be going was "I don't know about that." She often criticises my partner to me, which I have told her to stop. When I had a miscarriage, she didn't once ask how I was or express any sympathy, but told me I was better off without children as she had found being a mother quite boring! I struggle to stay reasonable with her as I find myself feeling increasingly resentful and angry at the way she projects her feelings onto every situation. But I also know I am very sensitive to her behaviour and perhaps need to take it all with a pinch of salt? What do others think?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Misty9 · 05/07/2014 16:49

Yikes, I think that'd drive me potty! No advice as my mum lives in another country thankfully but my husband's grandma is a bit overbearing and I cope by limiting my contact with her..

Is your relationship such that you could be honest about how her comments and behaviour make you feel? What about your dad, is he similar? Not supporting you after miscarriage is a bit unforgiveable. Could there be a back story you don't know about?

Also, are you concerned about favouritism between your ds and the new arrival? Or maybe it will dilute her bonkers behaviour focus?

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