How can I be a less anxious mum to my DCs?

[theladybirdheard]

I have two DCs 5 and 3, and I feel that I'm letting them down. I feel overwhelmed a lot of the time trying to organise things, work, and be a good fun mum. They were skipping home the other day with an ice-cream when it was really hot, and I knew I should be in the moment and enjoying watching them be so happy but all I could think about was that DD had to have her summer dress washed for the next morning, the house was a tip, how to get my work done that evening and getting DD's reading done and hoping they didn't skip too far ahead in case a car suddenly came out. I feel like I'm a horrid mum who isn't fun enough for her children and happy enough around them. I read all those posts doing the rounds on FB about the mum who stopped telling her children to hurry up. Anyone else feel the same? Or how did you overcome this? I want my children to be happy…

If your children were skipping along, with an ice cream in the sunshine, they'll be plenty happy enough

They can't see that you're thinking about the washing or the house - they see park+sun+ice cream.

But it's OK for kids to see or be involved with the humdrum side of life too. Get them to help tidy. 4 year old DD thinks it's a real treat if I let her put the washing powder in the washer

Sounds to me like you're doing just fine

They were having a great time. You were thinking about all the other things you had to do - that's completely normal.

And please don't put too much faith in Facebook either. It's a heavily edited view if peoples lives. They only put the heart-warming moments up. Not the crap that everyone deals with.

Counselling. Writing lists to stay organised. Weekly sit down 'meeting' with your DH/DP. Staying up late or getting up early to sort yourself out mentally in peace and quiet. Pay someone to help with jobs round the house. Make sure the kids are helping out with housework they can manage and keeping track of their homework. Find time to really connect with each of them for just 5-10mins a day - giving them undivided attention, cuddles, books, whatever leaves you both feeling uplifted and ready to carry on with the boring stuff. Focus on what you can do right now - when you find your mind wandering and thinking about stuff you have to do later then remind yourself that you can't deal with it at that moment so set a reminder on your phone then focus on what you can get done instead.

I recite this little poem to myself when I feel like my minds wandering to housework and to do lists reminds me what matters.

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Mindfulness.

Use it to live in the moment. Have a look on You Tube.