How do you deal with a 2 year old being naughty

[sharond101]

I was always smacked as a child and don't want this for DS. He was 2 in May and in the last couple of weeks has been getting into mischief and not doing what he is told. For instance he will be playing outside then begin throwing stones and mud all over the garden and the dog. I tell him he is naughty and he has one more chance (used to work) and he continues to do it. I then remove him from the situation and he screams and kicks and gets annoyed. He then moves on to find the next area he can destroy. He gets lots of time spent with him but you cannot give 100% attention all of the time. I need to cook, clean etc. Even getting dressed in the morning can be stressful as he wants to use all of my make up at the same time as emptying drawers out or kicking the walls. He has become very independent too and wants to do everything for himself. He wants to push the buggy, empty the potty and cook breakfast. He goes loopy when I disallow it. My Mum told me he had been like this today with her and that she said to him she would "Smack his hand." I told her I did not want this but what do you do to teach them right from wrong or stop them being naughty. We tried the naughty step but he came straight to us giggling and didn't understand.

I think a lot of redirection, Praise for the positive.

If he is fascinated with the stones, give him a pot he can fill up with stones on the garden,, get chalks and colour them.

Once a child knows something is wrong the word no is enough. Otherwise it is reinforcement. Little ones do not know the difference between positive and negative reinforcement.

I remember a period with my son of stopping eating out as there was no pleasure in it. The phase passed and returned to normal probably 6 months later.

Remember all these things are phases which do end at some point

proudmama - I don't think anyone is saying that there shouid be no attempt to control or moderate behaviour, or to give consequences for inappropriate behaviour. But it has to be tailored to what the child is capable of understanding.

There is a huge difference between what can be expected of a child who has just turned 2, and one who is about to turn 3.

Also, it is important to create an environment where "naughty" behaviour is less likely to happen. For example - don't take your 2 year old to an activity intended for 4 year olds, don't expect your 2 year old to function at the level of an older child. Don't put temptation in their way.

A small example: Ds1 was discovered cleaning the toilet with my hairbrush. Not because he was naughty, but because he had previously seen me cleaning the toilet with a brush. My fault for leaving the hairbrush where he could reach it.

I think as adults we often have great difficulty seeing the world through the eyes of a small child.

sharon - was he tired? Do you think that the place you took him to (you don't say whether it was a restaurant) was possibly overstimulating - too much noise, too many people?

You took his food away from him, then moments later your DH gave him some of his. What was your DS supposed to understand from that?

Was it his usual meal time? Was he hungry?

Do you think he understood that he was allowed to play with the toys you were giving him during the meal, but not the food that you were also giving him ?

proudmama2772 I'm with you 2 year olds can be naughty my son is a smart cookie he knows what he is allowed to do and what he's not if i catch him doing something he knows he's not allowed to do he jumps away because he knows he shouldn't be doing it where as if he's doing something he doesn't realise he shouldn't he will carry on there is the difference if they KNOW.

If you give fair warning then an age and situation appropriate punishment should be given. I always follow through with please don't do that, if you do that again you will be in trouble, now you go sit on the naughty corner because you didn't listen to mummy 2 mins later he kiss and make up and it's all forgotten about.

2 year olds are impulsive. They literally cannot help it as their brains are shouting at them to do stuff.

3LittleFrogs - there are some good comments around redirection, understanding tiredness, and 'creating the right environment'. These are all great strategies.

By all means, let a 2 year old be independent, but sometimes mummy doesn't have time. Sometimes we guilt ourselves out of discipline, because we didn't create the right conditions.

You're braver than me taking him out for dinner. We rarely do it as it ends up with one if us wandering round with him! If we ever go anywhere for lunch, we go armed with loads of things to do - colouring, stickers etc etc. ds is generally an angel in our eyes, and tbh yours sounds quite like ours!

Ds often does the dropping things in the car, but his response is more of a whingy whine than "screaming". I think you need to pick your battles a bit more & I feel you're expecting maturity from him that simply doesn't exist.

In the morning we get up & out within an hour (no breakfast) ds is motivated to get ready & downstairs by, once it's done, being able to have a snack & watch tv or mummy ignoring him & having a shower.

Everything else is generally accommodate him "helping" in his own little way or distract or remove. The only time we discipline him is for when he hits, bites or pinches me. The naughty step is a new thing for him.

Like I said, I'm lucky with my 'angel' child, but he does all the things you mention too. I think you need to give him a break, think more positively & strategise ahead of time so you don't feel out of your depth.