Dealing with computer and tv use

[Celestria]

This is my own fault. I had a breakdown at the start of the year and was very unwell for four months until the medication kicked in. I am on the road to recovery now but whilst I was unwell my youngest aged four watched a lot of TV and xbox. His behaviour has become increasingly difficult. So today I decided I needed to get it sorted out

My plan is to allow an hour of xbox time once a day. I have a piggy bank and four cardboard coins with fifteen minutes on it. When my youngest does what I ask he earns fifteen minutes. If he hits which he started doing he loses fifteen minutes. My thinking is that deals with three issues. The not listening the hitting and over use of the xbox.

The tv I am planning an hour in evening after dinner. And an hour in the morning.

Altogether does that sound reasonable. Still too much or too little. Opinions welcome thanks

Are you only going to ask him to do four things each day? What happens after he has the four tokens? The rest of the day he has to listen/do as he's told for no reward....?

I think 3 hours a day is a bit much tbh. I wouldn't plan it out so specifically. Some days if he/you are under the weather or it's cold/rainy etc. you might want to let him have a couple of hours on the xbox. Another day you may have plans to be out and so no xbox that day. I'd let it be more natural, but aim for a couple of screen-free days each week and the rest of the week no specific limit, but the less the better.

It's not your fault you had a breakdown! You were ill, don't be so hard on yourself.

I've usually do screen-time at a specific time of day, so when DC were preschool this was after lunch for no longer than an hour. Then when time came to switch off I would do something else with them e.g. read/play a game.

Now they're school age they have computer/telly as soon as they get in from school and I aim to have it switched off by about 5pm so they can play for a while before tea.

To start with when I switched off the telly there was complete uproar, now they are (mostly) fine with it, so it might take some time for your DS to get used to it, but he will.

Sorry you have been unwell. Glad you are starting to feel better.

The behaviour might not be so obviously linked to additional TV etc. Could be a stage, his age, worry about you when you were ill?

Not trying to make you feel worse but just suggesting that it might not be the TV etc.

The amount per day I guess depends on what your days are like. If he isn't at school or pre-school (sorry I cannot go back to your OP as I am on my phone) then 3 hours doesn't sound too bad if you have 12 to fill. If he is only home 4 hours after school etc then it sounds a like a bit much.

My 6 yr old DS loves the Wii. I find being out is the best distraction! I also suggest what he does instead: draw, playdoh, trainset etc and sometimes just saying "No Wii today".

With rewards I try to act positively rather than taking stuff away. Depends if your DS is motivated by the carrot or stick approach?

Finally, be kind to yourself. Sounds like you have been through a rough time. You sound like a caring, thoughtful and good mum. Hope you find the solution.