toddlers and childcare..what is the sensible no of hours per week

[Dragonball]

hi there, not sure if I'm posting in the right place, but here goes.
I have a 5yo DS at school and a DD who will be 2 in september. I'm really interested to hear personal views and experiences on toddlers and childcare and also, if anyone can point me in the direction of any studies on this.

I currently work 1.5 days a week - have done for about 2 months now - and my DD is with a lovely childminder 8-3pm both days. A family member picks her up, along with my son from school one afternoon so they are both at home. I am due to start working more hours soon - and I start a course in september for one day a week, so in reality, I may be doing 3.5 days a week. I will be back by 6pm on most of those days.

However, I am feeling a little bit of slow dread creeping up about it. How will my LO cope? I don't really believe in sending children of her age to a nursery, so I know I've chosen the right setting, but will there be a part of her that is very sad without me. She is my last one, so maybe I'm projecting this on to her - but I am obviously also worried about missing out on her - she is an incredibly easy child and really lovely to be around. My DS was with a childminder 2 x a week when he was little and family member at home 1 x a week - but I somehow didn't feel quite so…guilty? about it? I also like picking my son up from school - and would only be able to do that twice a week. I do have to work…what do you all think my options are?

I was thinking about getting an au-pair and seeing if I could work from home some of the time - (not unrealistic - the company said I could maybe do half a day from home -and we have an office in our garden) so then the little one can be at home with an au-pair while i'm working - but is this realistic - can an au-pair look after a toddler for a few hours? and possibly unaffordable?

Would love to hear any advice or experiences. I feel so torn and confused about it. My son has grown into a very confident and happy school boy so I know my decisions aren't life-threatning, but i just want to do right by them.
Thanks!

You won't want to hear this I think, but childcare for 3.5 days a week at that age really won't do any harm. It sounds to me like you're more worried that you'll miss them, but that's an entirely separate issue.

If you have good childcare, I would not change that for an au pair that may or may not work out. Plus, if you're working from home while they're there are you going to be able to let go and let them get on with it or will you be trying to be with your DD all the time?

Personally, I think it's more important than when you are with them, you're properly with them. When you pick them up, spend time with them and pay attention to them. They won't miss you while they're gone, but they will miss you if you're not really there even when you're physically present.