Working away

[Jake40]

I'm a dad of two 1 being 5 the other being 1 both girls.
My wife myself and kids lived in surrey until around 8 months ago when my wife wanted to move nearer her mum over 100 miles away I agreed and we moved.
The problem being i have my own buisness set up in surrey and work mainly in london and have an established client base here so because of this i rent a room monday to friday.
My wife is putting increasing pressure on me to move up to her to be "A dad "
I work in the construction buisness and have no connections where the family home is and of course im the only bread winner and have to pay everything so need the london wage to do this she is constantly going on at me and putting a massive strain on us to just do it.
If I do then ill start with nothing and have no work but she still wants the lifestyle she has been accustomed to i think she is being totally unreasonable of course i want to be home with her and kids but it's just simply not that easy.
Any help advise would be great

I don't suppose it's an option for your wife to work locally while you're re-building your business contacts, so you still have an income?

What is communication like in the round between you and DW?

Why did she want to move? Did she need to be her her parents or was she unhappy with the previous location?

When did you last discuss your longterm plans and what you want family like to be like?

Have you talked to her recently about spending/lifestyle and whether/when she intends to return to work?

Can you relocate the office end of your business so you don't have to be away as much? How much is it worth if you sold it?

Ive made enquiries in the village and surrounding areas ive advertised my services in the local magazines handed out buisness cards ect for the last 2 months,ive looked and priced 2 small jobs £250 each but heard nothing.
I'm an electrician and have spoken with two plumbers and a builder and they all say its very hard to get established up north.
My wife seems very happy made new friends ect apart from me not being there.
She was a HR manager before kids and I think her brain needs to be active or she builds up stuff and then constantly goes on at me.
As she says she has baby brain she has said that because I'm not there she has had to put her life on hold !!.

We moved predominantly because of the lack of support from my family for which now my wife wont speak to them and even worse makes it extremely difficult for me to try and keep a link between them and my 5 year old i only ask that she makes a call to them once a week after all they are her grandparents.
We have taken counselling for this issue but resolved nothing but my wife will constantly remind me on how they let me/us down ect for which I just ignore and get on with it.
I'm probably scared that although id get to be with my family daily id have no friends no work at least for a while anyway that sounds selfish?

Can she be a HR manager up north, especially if her family are more hands on with the kids?
If she doesn't want to go back to work then doesn't seem sensible for you to give up your livelihood for an unknown length of time. Working isn't a selfish hobby, it's a necessity presumably?