wedding with 2 month old baby.

[myusernameis]

I'm expecting my first child soon and have to attend a wedding before it will have turned 2 months old.

I'm really dreading it. The wedding is in another part of the country so will involve a long car journey and a couple of nights stay in a hotel.

I'm scared we will have no idea what we are doing with the baby and have no sense of routine. I might still be bleeding from what I've read. I am planning to bf so couldn't leave the baby behind with anyone even if I wanted to (which I don't).

Has anyone else done anything like this before? I'd love some reassurance that I'm worrying over nothing and that it won't be bad. As I get nearer to my due date my anxiety levels increase. I think I'm actually more stressed about this then I am about the impending labour! We are moving soon as well. Everything feels like it's happening at the same time!

Just say no if you don't really really want to go. You will feel immediately relieved.

Is it your partner's family? If so you can pop to wedding for a few hours and show off baby then spend rest of time BFing and watching old Bond movies in hotel room while he dances the night away.

If it's your friends / family then just cancel.

I had a tricky birth, and very high needs, colicky baby with ds1. By two months, though, I could have just about coped, subject to putting my foot down about a few things.

How far is the car journey? Nust take a really good break every two hours to feed and get the baby out of the car seat.

Are you staying at the venue? I would insist if you can, then set everything up, as at home, and just come and go as you feel able.

If you are still rough by the time you have your six week check, then just cancel and say yoir doctor said not to travel.

Good luck!

Ah you poor thing op you sound really stressed.

I think the car journey bit will be okay as many babies find cats restful and you can factor in lots of breaks.

The hotel will kinda be like being as home as you'd all be in the same room and getting up in the night at home too.

The wedding you'll have to play by ear. It might well be knackering but lots of sitting down and you'll just need to step out of room if baby needs something. Put yourselves and baby first and build up your nerve before hand to say 'we're just stepping out' and 'no you can't hold baby right now'.

Most people bleed 6-12 weeks. I bleed for 6. But after the first 2-3 weeks it's regular period heavy not waterfall heavy so by 8 weeks the flow mightn't be too bad.

My bits were also healed pretty well by 8 weeks and I had a rough birth with big episiotomy.

(Where I say 'you' I mean you and your partner)

Thanks for all the advice. Especially about stopping every couple of hours in the car as I didn't know that. I think it will be about a five hour drive. I think as long as we are firm about going back to the hotel when we need to and things it will be manageable.

I will take it how it goes. I feel less stressed now I'd worked myself up a bit earlier. Thanks again everyone.

No one HAS to go to a wedding. Tell them now that you're not sure, you really want to attend, but you may not feel up to it.

To be completely honest I couldn't have. Don't read on if you don't want to know why, don't want to stress you again! I went 2 weeks overdue (as happens to most first time mums - average gestation is 41+3) but had a straightforward delivery. EBF which after the usual tricky and painful start went well. I bled for 6-8 weeks. DS woke every 45 mins for 5 months. I'd read all the books and knew all the advice about self settling etc. apparently DS hadn't. He wouldn't be put down in the day, at all. He'd scream the minute I put him down, awake or asleep. By 2m he was in the depths of colic and screaming continuously for hours each evening.

A wedding would have been hell. He'd have screamed. I'd have felt like screaming.

Sorry. It may all be fine. But I really wouldn't commit yourself. Good luck!

Did it when baby was 8 weeks.
Bleeding- don't think you will be or certainly not much.
They are fairly easy at this age as will sleep lots and fall asleep on you.
Just take it as it comes.
Our little one slept through church and most of the meal

The wedding we went to was about 5 hours away also but we booked a hotel half way to break up the journey.
With hindsight I don't think that was necessary.
To be honest you will just have to go with it. You could have an 'easy' baby who sleeps well generally and so it may not be so bad.

We went to a wedding when DD was 10wo. But it was local-ish (about an hour away), so we didn't stay overnight. We left the wedding after the dinner (just when it was getting fun!). It was completely fine - I popped out to feed DD when I needed to, one of us would push her around in pram if she needed a sleep and when she was awake there was no shortage of people wanting a cuddle.

The challenges were the drive (it was a really hot day, we got stuck in traffic and DD wasn't used to being in a car at that point) and finding something to wear (I didn't fit back into any of my pre-preg nice clothes and didn't have the time, energy or desire to go clothes shopping at that stage) - eventually I squeezed into something old (safety pin holding trousers closed, floaty shirt and waterfall cardi over the top) and got lots of compliments!

You say you're worried that you won't know what you're doing, but by 8 weeks in you'll be a pro! And at that age they sleep a lot and aren't in any real routine anyway. We got back way later than DD's usual 'bedtime', but it didn't make any difference really

I'm glad we went, but I really wanted to go to the wedding as it was a friend I've known since I was 8.

Try not to stress out too much about it. If I were you I'd say yes (if you actually want to go to the wedding) on the proviso that you may have to pull out if the needs of the baby demand it. I don't think anyone would begrudge you if you weren't able to go at the last minute unless they were particularly selfish or mean! If you don't want to go anyway (e.g. it's the wedding of someone you don't particularly like, or a family obligation type thing) then just say no! I've turned down wedding invitations for far less justifiable reasons.

I travelled to see family alone with ds at 6 weeks, 12hrs door to door, two flights and driving a hire car 2 hrs.

I'd just stopped bf (other reasons) and took bottles, few nappies, some sterilizing tablets just in case, and a couple of spare outfits for him and clean top for me.
I'd also got him use to napping in the pram beforehand.

I was only bleeding because I was having my first period, my birth bleeding had stopped at a couple of weeks, but I guess that varries.

Everything was fine, baby slept a lot and when he needed feeding I just stopped and fed him. It was a long day though so may want to consider staying over rather than driving home.

I got married last year and both our best man and usher had babies, one just 6 weeks old. Our venue was just 8 miles outside the city and the couple with the 6wk old brought their parents along who wandered the venue during the day with the baby (venue was a hotel with facilities) and in the evening we were happy for them to join the celebrations. Mum had to nip off to bf when needed but it meant she could join in most of the day. Their parents left about midnight and the couple stayed overnight with the baby. Can you bring anyone trustworthy along with you?

You don't have to go to a wedding. Talk to the hosts - tell them you obviously have no idea how you'll be at that point, so you'll have to decline the invitation, if it's stressing you. Or ask them when is the latest you can let them know, in the circumstances.
I certainly couldn't have done that when my pfb was 2m old.

8weeks you'll not necessarily be bleeding heavily
You can go fir as long as you want,mingle bit then slip off if required
If you're bottle feeding your boyfriend can feed baby,if bf you go somewhere suitable

I went to one 3 months after DS was born. It was okay. I took spare clothes (breastfeeding dresses). I didn't enjoy it much. There wasn't much space near the table. I breastfed outside the dinning area (in the beginning I was doing it more out of sight than later on). I was sat on a stool by myself and missed bits. There were stairs which meant pram had to be lifted up to the dinning area. DS used to posset a lot so I didn't let the bride hold him! I saw the first dance but we left after that.

To be honest if you don't fancy going either decline now or decline closer to the time. Weddings with a young baby are not as much fun as without children. You'll cope but it is not as much fun.

I don't want to decline it outright. I know we don't HAVE to go but they are very good friends of ours and so I don't want to not go. I'm not too worried about it not being fun more worried that I wouldn't survive which is stupid!

purplemurple with your two flights and hire car, you are my hero of the moment! I shall think of you and not be such a whinger!

CityDweller - am worried about the clothes thing too! Hoping that will just sort itself out somehow. Think I will look into getting a breastfeeding dress like Gwlondon mentioned.

Theyaremysunshine - that does sound like my nightmare. Hoping (am hoping a lot of things!) that I will neither go overdue or have a colicky baby. I think I would cancel if that wasn't the case though. Hope that stage didn't last too long for you and your Ds sleeps well now.

Thanks everyone who has reassured about the bleeding. I had no idea that this even happened until quite recently and I think in my head there's a lot more blood than there probably is.

We took DD to a total of 3 weddings during her first summer. The first was my BILs, when DD was 10 days. It was 2 hours drive away, and was a weekend extravaganza! When I think of all we packed in the eventuality we might need it, I wonder how we ever managed to leave home. We coped fine though, and I actually enjoyed showing DD off.
Outfit was tricky, as it was a black tie wedding, and I wasn't sure if I was still going to be pregnant, or needed to be able to breastfeed.
Of the other 2 weddings, one was local, the other was in Rome. Was one of my very dear friends, and DH and I were thrilled to be invited to a small, intimate wedding. We deliberated for AGES, as DD was 8 weeks old, but I'm so glad we went. My DM was worried about us heading away when DD was so young; my argument was that Italians have babies too!
You will be fine, honestly, OP!

We went to a wedding a 4 hour drive away when dd was about 2 months and although I was worried about it, it was mainly fine! I had stopped bleeding weeks before so physically I was fine. Dd got loads of attention and during the day was so well behaved. We left before the evening bit started as it was in a different venue to the daytime so it seemed a sort of natural break.

I was bf and I think I fed once in the car and a couple of times discreetly at the reception. I wore a skirt and top and probably didn't look fantastic but not bad for someone who had given birth 2 months before!

Just wanted to let you know it could be fine ( enjoyable even!) So try not to worry about it now and you can see how you feel nearer the time

I went to a wedding overseas but only a 1.5hr flight when DD1 was 6 weeks old. The biggest hassle was the passport office in central london but that's not an issue for you. I'd had a C-section and was fully recovered if fat by the wedding day.

A 5 hour drive is a lot but to be honest if you were flying somewhere - your door to door is about the same. You just need to plan in rest stops so you can feed your baby. You can also get lie flat car seats and there is a brand of travel system where the pram top is also a lie flat car seat which is a genius invention I think. I used one of these over a normal dress which made it easier to feed especially in a busy wedding environment. We were staying with the wedding party but not at the wedding venue and I called it a day around 9pm after the first couple of dances. It was getting really loud, 10pm was feeding time and I was shattered by then. You will be operating on a lot less sleep than normal so as long as your partner is prepared for you to leave early and drive you if necessary you should be fine.

Personally I took the hire car and drove myself home. It was much faster than dealing with DH (a bit tipsy) taking hours to say goodbye to everyone just to take him home to watch me feed a baby.

I was wearing a chiffon dress - it did show up any moisture from a dribbling bf baby but no puke incidents thankfully. Wearing heels on grass holding a newborn was tricky though and there is no-where to put a handbag . Bring a spare outfit (even if it is not an "outfit") for both you and the baby, plus lots of muslins to be on the safe side.

I was really glad we went. Very old friends and I would have hated to miss their wedding day.

You can also buy microwavable bags that take a single bottle and bits for sterilizing which are brilliant if you have to mix feed, express or move to bottle sooner than you planned. One bag does about 10 microwaves so two would do a few days away.

DS1 would have been impossible - refluxy high needs baby who did not sleep still doesnt

DS2 would have been fine, except he's currently 8 weeks and running a température but thats unpredictable.

Both times I bled heavily for one week only and had lost all pregnancy weight by 8 weeks, altho BF means my boobs are bigger so not everything fits.

I was 'best woman' to a good male friend when my DD was 7 weeks old. I had an emergency c section with her and was worried but needn't have been. I wore something I could breast feed her in. We both had a fabulous time.

We went to a wedding 5 hours away when DD was 6 weeks old, we also had a 2 year old.

I was a bridesmaid.

We broke the journey up lots on the way, stayed in the venue hotel the night before and after.

I missed lots of things because I kept having to nip back to the hotel room to feed/express etc (had to be private to feed as would have flashed everyone in bridesmaid dress), and I was probably the most neglectful bridesmaid ever , the bride was very nice about my frequent disappearances. But it was fine apart from that - both DC sat quietly with DH during the ceremony, and the baby slept through it, and also was mercifully quiet during most of the meal.
We left early, I was up all night, but that would have been the case at home anyway, and at least we could order breakfast to our room the next day.

I do now look back and wonder what I was thinking of, but at the time we managed to take it in our stride. I shouldn't have been bridesmaid though!

We travelled from Surrey to Wales for a wedding when DD was 6 weeks (she's 13 weeks now). Went on the Friday night - left at 8pm to miss traffic, stopped at 11 as wee texted wales to feed (EBF) and change nappy (was already in night clothes before we left). Arrived around 1am, transferred to Moses in hotel room. Wedding was Saturday early afternoon- just went with the flow. Arrived there at 2, left at 11pm. It was in a field! We used the bassinet part of the buggy for sleeping, relaxing and changing! We travelled home on the Sunday afternoon after spending the day by the sea!
It was fabulous! I was so nervous! But essentially went with no expectations and no routine planned and just went with the flow!
I had a 2nd degree tear which was nicely healed by then- no soreness. I was still bleeding (was up to 2 weeks ago), but nothing spoiled the trip :-)
Relax, have no expectations and take it as it comes-enjoy :-)

We took DC1 to a wedding at the other end of the country when he was 3 weeks old - it was fine, we left early, fed lots and didn't manage to party much but we were there! I took DC2 to a christening also other end if country at 2 weeks which was fine but lots of stopping in the car. I was BM for my sister when DC2 was 6 weeks which was harder as I had lots of jobs to do! I think you will be fine but just reserve your position for now. It's unlikely you will still be bleeding at 8 weeks, certainly not heavily.