Need a advise or opinion please!

[Jennyzmg]

I have a child with a married man, the boy is 2years old now, Dad visit us a lot, and he has been supporting us financially totally. I'm not working( I have no family in UK), but Dad's family doesn't know about this child. The reason why he didn't tell, he said because it will be difficult to support us if his family knows about us. and he can't use working as excuse to visit us as much as he does now. I'm worrying, because as the boy getting older, he realise things around him, he loves his Dad a lot, should I stop to seeing Dad, or financial is more important then anything else? What shall I do with my secret child, please give advise. Many thanks.

Are you still with the father?

Whether or not your DS sees his father should not be related to whether the father gives you money. The two things are separate.

You can't control what this man does or doesn't tell his wife and family. You also can't control whether he wants to see his son. All you can do is continue to give him the opportunity to see his son regularly.

I'm assuming the financial arrangement is a private one? If he stops giving you money, you can contact the Child Maintenance Service (Child Support Agency) who will help sort out payment from him.

Well, we still have physical contact sometime while the boy is in the nursery during the day, to be honest , I only doing this because he pays all the bills here, I'm insecure if he stop paying, and any idea who knows how much child mantians fee we might get if I go legal way? I'm feeling like his mistrass, which is I don't like my child think his mum is this, and he is the prouduct of the relationship. I worrying his self confident..
Many thanks.

Without meaning to sound judgemental, you are sleeping with him to make sure he keeps paying you? That doesn't sound like a healthy situation.

As others have said, him paying his way is a different matter entirely too him seeing his son.

There is an online calculator for child maintenance. www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

Would it be better if you earned some money yourself? You say your son goes to nursery, so as he is settled there, increasing hours there may be an option if you were to get a job.
It will take time, years possibly but once you are less reliant on the financial contribution from his Dad, you can then reduce your contact with his Dad but not reduce your sons contact, if that is really what you want to do.

He has a legal obligation to support his child regardless of his situation. What he has told you is just a cop out. He doesn't want to tell his family about you because he will get found out for having an affair.

Your son obviously has an extended family and has a right to know them. What does this man expect? To keep his son hidden from everyone for the rest of his life? How is this fair on your son - making out he's like a dirty little secret.