I hate meal times

[lollipoppi]

Hate them!! Mainly the evening meal.

I have DS who's is 3.9 and DD who is 17mo

Every single night it's a nightmare and I refuse to make meal times a battle but inside I'm so so annoyed that all they do is mess around and basically not eat what I've given them

Tonight DD has had a nibble of her tea, maybe a few spoons of fish pie and a few peas and carrots, ds has not touched his at all. I told DS that if he does not eat his tea then no outdoor play and no more food before bed.
Dd is obviously too young to understand any kind of sanctions.

I took their tea away and put it in the bin

What do I do now, I always cave in and give them either some toast or weetabix before bed because I don't want them to be hungry but DP says I'm too soft and they obviously much prefer their boring supper than their tea

I'd like to tell you it gets better but it hasn't really so far. Dd (6) eats a little better since starting school dinners but eats incredibly slow (seriously who takes an hour to eat supper FML!!!!) and my 2 don't sit and eat properly either. They sit at table when we are at table but I'm not sitting staring into space for an hour while they faff about.

Ellen Satyr's child of mine book gets recommended a lot.

Do tell fanjob

Maybe you're feeding them too early? When do you give them the toast or weetabix? Why not just give them their meal then?

And maybe they just don't need as much as you're giving them. Just let them eat what they want, right before bed, and then put them to sleep.

Do it every day.

They won't starve.

Oh god Lolli I have contended with this all bloody year from DS1 ! I have brought it down now to like it or lump it so the food gets put in front of them and DS2 eats it like the piggy he is while DS1 faffs about. I refuse to engage now,he eats it or not its up to him and he knows there's no alternative.

He's getting better at eating since having lunch at preschool with everyone else and following the crowd a bit.

Why do you want to force your DS to eat? Why not just make some food and let him eat it when he is hungry? If he doesn't eat it offer it to him later, instead of toast or weetabix.

Over I've been told this before too but they need to realise there is a routine especially as they get older and have to eat in time for nursery / school.

It's the evening meal Kerry, why should they be forced to eat when you want them to eat, instead of when they are hungry? That's not actually fair.

You can have a routine without force feeding them when they are not hungry. A routine just means you serve them some food towards the end of the day.

Would you like to be told you had to eat when you weren't hungry, and then have something fun (like outside playtime) taken away from you because you weren't hungry?

I just don't see why you are even making this into a battle. If you hate it so much stop doing it.

Are you telling me to stop feeding my kids? It's not a case of they aren't hungry it's a case of fussiness. They would happily eat sweets and yogurts just not anything proper.

Overmy, of course I don't want to force my DS to eat, he didn't touch his tea, physically feeding him when he doesn't want it is forcing him, I didn't do that I gave him an option of either eating it or not.

Maybe I am feeding them too early, it's just the routine I've fell into, they have tea at 5.00/5.30 bath at 6 and bed at 7

Juniper I wish DD ate like your ds2, she eats like a little bird

I suppose I just find it frustrating, I don't want them to be hungry so always end up giving them something before bed

You dont need sanctions for not eating. How horrible!

If they don't eat the meal then they'll be hungry later. That's the consequence.

However, like the others have said, try moving the meal time later. Also, include them in the food making and choosing. I meal plan each week with the dc. We talk about balanced diets etc. So we may have a chips n beans type tea one day, then a fish n veg tea the next.

I am sitting here buggering about on here while both boys have breadsticks, hummus, grapes, blueberries etc for tea. DS1 ate at preschool and DS2 got fishfingers from his granny for lunch so the pressure is off at teatime today.

You could try shifting the main meal to lunchtime and treat teatime as a lighter meal.

That sounds like a good idea juniper, they do always eat their lunch maybe I could make that their main mean and have a snack type tea

Overmy, I think you're over reacting slightly, I am in no way forcing my children to eat, it doesn't say that in my post and that is not what I'm doing at all, also if you read my post I said I refuse to make it into a battle, it's a battle with myself, not with my children
I also say "inside" I'm so so annoyed, im not displaying this to my children

Ok, maybe I shouldn't have taken away outside play, bad decision

So, are you too soft by giving them something else later? Yes probably. It sends the message that they don't have to eat what is served because they won't go hungry.

Were you wrong to take away play for not eating food? Yes because there is no causal link. Not eating should mean a hungry tummy. That is the consequence.

Should you move main meal to lunch time? Definitely, if you can.

Thank you odyssey, i totally agree I am too soft by giving them a snack later, I didn't last night, but I did offer them their tea again later, they didn't want it, which meant a 5.30am wake up with 2 hungry children

I'm going to try the main meal at lunch and a snacky type tea tonight, I think that will work well.

I give DS tiny portions so for tea he gets a fish finger one scoop of mash and one spoonful of peas if he's still hungry he gets fruit or a yogurt then a pudding maybe jelly or a biscuit. Have a look at little peoples plates to see the right portion amount you might find over the day they are getting enough DS eats most of his food at lunch time and afternoon snack at tea time he can't be bothered so I don't make much.