Feeling guilty

[melonribena]

I'm just wondering if it's me or if others feel like this.

My 23 mth old ds is a constant delight. His sleeping is not good but that's it.

We go out to groups lots (I work 3 days) he spends a fun filled day a week with each set of grandparents and spends a day at nursery.

However, at the weekend I feel constantly guilty for relaxing. If I'm not doing chores I feel like I should always be playing with him, reading to him, teaching him his numbers etc instead sometimes it's nice to watch tv, read a book or let him do apps on the ipad.

We don't spend all day relaxing clearly! But should I be interacting with him all day every day or is it ok to chill out sometimes?

Errm no. I think it's really important they learn to entertain themselves. Maybe 5 minutes at first but given the right stimuli my son will play quietly for half an hour easily (he's 2.7). Beach is the best bet.

Also think about what you are teaching him when you relax, grown ups read books? Or chat to their friends? I think that's a good message.

K

Kids need down time too. My friend is a GP and says there is a rise in childhood anxiety/ depression as kids are never allowed to relax and expected to be 'learning' 'achieving' at all times. No way! They have play time in school don't they? See your times at home like that. Child occupies self however they wish.

Thanks! He is a good boy and will play by himself. I think I need to relax a bit more!

Definitely relax! Its good for you and good for DCs to have some downtime, they have such busy little lives a quiet patch is needed sometimes.

Mine are 4 and nearly 6 and on school holidays, this afternoon we had 2.5 hours with barely a word spoken while they played with lego and I read a book, it was amazing!

It sounds as if, at three, your son is getting lots of stimulation from days with attentive grandparents and nursery. To thrive, he needs to complement all this activity with quiet time in order to develop his imagination and creativity. At three, both my children would play for long periods of time with Playmobil and other "small world" toys, utterly content in their own world! It is positively beneficial for children to be left to organise their own play, both to develop their intellect and imagination but also to foster independence and self-sufficiency.

As well as this, children thrive in a calm, happy domestic atmosphere and if you are happy and relaxed doing your own activities, they will drink in this positive atmosphere and benefit from it. As previous posters have said, there is nothing worse than being hurried from one activity to the next or "hothouse" - especially at three!

So enjoy your peaceful, relaxed weekends with a clear conscience, OP - they are good for your little boy as well as you!

I agree with the other they need to learn to just be to chill out and do as they please. Think of it this way your son is a little person he needs the same things you need if you have had a busy week you want to relax it's no different for children. IMO things like groups, nursery and school are for structure home is for doing whatever you like even if he is playing with toys he is still learning but in a relaxed no pressure way. I would imagine children with no down time would burn out the same way an adult would my DS loves to chill out he potters around with toys and watches some tv when we are home.