Privacy

[Jaffakake]

I'm not a very private person & doubt many mums ever get to go to the loo alone, but I'm wondering how others deal with those moments when you really need privacy.

Ds is nearly three. This afternoon I went to the loo & discovered I'd started my period. I was trying to get ds out if the bathroom so I could sort myself out with provisions from the cupboard & change my knickers etc. Being a typical 3 year old he wouldn't!

Should I have carried on regardless? Kicked him out of the bathroom? Am I daft in thinking he doesn't really need to see this?

My 3 year old witnessed my (unexpected) 3rd miscarriage 5 weeks ago and wouldn't leave the bathroom. She mentioned it a couple of times in the week or so afterwards but nothing since. Maybe you're worrying about something that will resolve itself spontaneously at the right time.

I would have kicked him out. No need for him to see it, but I think others will disagree.....

Playpen, and I have two at that age so its a blessing. resipsa I'm so so sorry to hear of your loss

I have always changed tampax in front of my children (I am a doctor's daughter and we would talk about menstruation over dinner etc - no hang ups here - it's part of life). People who think it should be hidden need therapy.

I don't think my boys needed to see me change a tampon, I really don't. They are 12 and 15 now, and know all about periods. We don't talk about it over dinner though-that's weird.

My five year old knows what a period is and what PMS does to mummy I think it's important to be honest with them if they ask.

Taa for the thoughts. He's very inquisitive & I'm hoping being open about weeks, poos, farts & burps etc will help with potty training. I'm not one girl hiding things generally but I did wonder!

It's not weird at all but families differ. I remember my father, a psychiatrist telling us about that interesting thing where some nuns in convents find their periods synchronise to the same time. It is a fascinating subject but then I find many other families as dull as ditch water so each to their own.

It was more the 'over dinner' bit. We talk about other stuff at the dinner table.

Honestly in that situation I would have pulled my things back on stuck ds in front of the tv then went to sort myself out, I will tell him all the facts but I don't think he needs to see me do it. DN is 7 knows the facts but has never seen me change I don't see the need for it at all.

Ah with us it was OCD, depression, Jung, Freud - all sorts. I have been ruined for life as now I find most conversations people have dull. It's huge fun growing up in the home of a psychiatrist though and I have no hang ups about menstrual blood.

You should absolutely do what you feel comfortable with OP! Do not overthink this.

You do not have to surrender every shred of privacy or dignity just because your three-year-old demands you do! It is good for you to put your own (very reasonable!) wishes first sometimes and it is good for him to accept it.

I think it is important small boys know where a Mooncup is meant to go. The correct information then ensures stops it being used as an observatory on the lego space station and remains on the bathroom shelf for when you need it.

Nothing wrong with kids being in the bathroom and nothing wrong with making them bugger of out so you can perform ablutions without twenty questions which may or may not be relevant to what you are doing. Neither course of action will harm a child.

I don't think there is anything wrong with either kicking out or letting them stay, but it has reminded me of a delightful conversation I had with DD2 (4 at the time) in a public toilet cubicle.

DD- (very loud) Mummy you've pooed into your nappy.

Me - It's not a nappy, and its not poo it's blood. Remember when we talked about this before?

DD- That's not blood, blood is red. That's all Brown. You pooed yourself Mummy.

Me- Well some kinds of blood can be brown.

DD- Like that blue ice cream that made my poo turn green?

Sigh....

Tea. I did have to ask DS2 to fetch me a tampon once out of my bedroom drawer, while I was in the loo.
It came round the edge of the door......

Teabiscuits -that is hilarious!

For us, that is!

I don't mind mine in with me for a wee, but anything else I want privacy for - not for them but for me....they have me ALL day, I get to poo in peace ....

Thing is whilst periods shouldn't be taboo, equally they simply won't make sense to a child; yes, they're part of life, but a 3 year old could just find blood in mummy's knickers a bit scary / confusing. I don't think it's a big deal if they see it, but equally I don't think it's a necessary part of their education at such a young age, so don't feel bad if you don't want them in with you at that time of the month!

I think its whatever you are comfortable with OP. personally i like privacy when using the toilet at all but my mum (midwife-no body hang ups) changed tampons infront of me and it hasnt left me scarred for life!

I also think its important for children to learn about privacy and understanding that if someone asks for privacy they should be given it. Not just for the bathroom but things like having a private conversation with a friend.

Thanks for starting this thread. It's something I've been wondering about - last time I had a period was a year and a bit ago (I have a 6mo ds and am bf'ing - periods not back yet). Dd was not quite 2 then and I was happy having her in the bathroom, but at 3 with endless questions and a fascination for all things yucky I don't think I'll be comfortable any more. I can quite imagine conversations like the one a few posts back, and also can imagine her going on about it at highly inappropriate times. How to keep her out of the bathroom is the next challenge...