I'm losing my grip on nearly 4 year old son

[Bedsheets4knickers]

Just that really, he's really starting to get quite challenging and a whole less loving. Last night he scored a screwdriver down our bedroom wallpaper. He got told of and sent to bed. After 10 mins of crying he accepted it and we heard no more from him until this morning . Before we left for pre-school I went up to make the beds. In his room he's pulled off a massive chunk of wallpaper.
He's got quite a destructive nature but I can't having tearing the house apart . We havnt got the time to fix it. When I spoke to him about it he seemed really uninterested wasn't sorry at all.
How do I teach him to care for his home and respect it ???

He may still be a little too young to understand the problem he's causing. Wallpaper is the worst with kids. paint is better as you can simply paint over marks. We rented a house once and ended up having to replace the whole house of matching wallpaper because my 18 month old would not stop drawing on it. I had older kids and kept the markers in a special container she couldn't open. Then someone bought my son a game where you draw a track for this car to follow and it was all over.

She got the pen when we weren't looking and you would be surprised how quickly the damage was done. Goodbye 2000 pounds.

I know its upsetting, but you just have to treat it like breaking any other rule and don't get angry with him. He's doesn't understand. Timeout will help, but you'll have to prepare yourself - he will make mistakes. Kids do things without thinking.

I have nothing useful to add but ds2 is the same. I have just painted my toenails, he wanted his going too. Fine. I told him to be careful he didn't touch anything with his nails as it would stain, then I left room for a bit 5 Seconds, came back and he has wiped red nail varnish all over my duvet. Obviously deliberately. Really upset as I saved for ages for the duvet set, most things we have are second hand and I don't get to choose what I like. The sensible part of me says he has no idea what he has done and was just seeing what would happen but fuck me it's annoying. He has watched me try to clean it, maybe that has helped, who knows?! The point of my post is to let you know you are not alone

Hi is he starting school in September? One if my twins was like this (July birthday) in the summer before school. He was bored. Pre school didn't do it for him any more and he needed more stimulation.

He found a black marker pen and 'slashed' every step on the stair carpet, the cupboards, his brothers bed clothes! I was in shock. None of my other kids had ever behaved like this. Luckily we found the own wasn't a permanent one so the damage was fairly easily remedied. I think he did it out if curiosity to see what the pen felt like on different surfaces.

Anyway when he started school a couple of months later his behaviour calmed down and he became a different boy.

Not much you can do really but wait.

Keep stuff like that out of reach.

Also channel his energy - he will have or be having now a testorone surge so get him running, play fighting with dad, getting outside etc etc as much as you can.

If he likes tearing stuff have arts and crafts available always, same for drawing things.

If he likes taking things apart, give him Lego? Ds loves lego!

The screwdriver isn't normally on the bedside table in my room . It was my husbands birthday and he was using it for 1 of his gifts. Just annoys me he was sent to bed for destroying my wallpaper then he does his own.
He just doesn't care at the moment . He's not bothered by us being upset with him . It's like he's annoyed with us. Dd is getting lots of attention at the moment . She's under going medical treatment and intense physio . That's prob having an effect . Saying that tho I daily try to direct 1 2 1 time with him but he's not interested .

I suppose he could be bored . He had very full days but after bath I would prefer we had winding down time on our bed. (Which he insists on de-bedding) il look up on testorone surges. He's held back slightly at the mo and I have to juggle dd who can't keep up just yet so we are abit slower . Maybe I should invest in a treadmill :-)

Don't underestimate the effect that your dd getting more attention has on your ds. This will definitely be a factor. He's young and doesn't know how to articulate complicated feelings. He'll do stuff for attention even negative.

He's a September baby he won't start reception until he's 5, I'm thinking of putting dd into his childcare setting 2 mornings a week but on different days to what he does so he can get some mummy time. I was hoping she would go on same mornings as him so I can do some much needed house work but I don't want to lose my grasp on his needs . The house can wait another 12 months. I do miss him he was just 2 when dd was born and she's been a handful to say the least . She's so incredibly loving but clingy at the same time. Thanks ladies il change me negative to a positive :-)

My DS is exactly the same age and is a September baby. He is how you are describing, blue play dough stamped into cream long pile rug this morning despite my many warnings, black glitter nail polish yesterday over the bed, it's something most days so you're not alone. I find he is much better behaved if i take him to the park in the morning and then again after dinner, starting preschool in Sep so I'm hoping that will help too! Little monsters, we'd be bored without them!

Parenting puzzle course is brilliant for.that kind.of thing.. I did it when ds was 1 and now he is 3.6 dh is doing it. Some children are.just more prone to that kind of thing but.it helps you feel more.in control and.accepting that children will b.children it's helps with consultancy too... Take a look for one.in.your area or family toolkit is the same button shorter course..

Consistency...... Not.consultancy -bloody predictive text

sarahockwell-smith.com/2014/06/09/why-the-huge-testosterone-surge-in-young-boys-is-a-myth-and-what-really-causes-their-behaviour-to-change/

I read this recently and found it interesting.