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Need help with sibling relationship!

3 replies

ElizabethMedora · 21/06/2014 19:31

I have two DD. DD1 just turned 6 and DD2 is 2 y 9m. They get along really nicely but also clash (as is normal no doubt!) but I need help managing DD1 reaction.

e.g. We are staying away from home. DD1 has previously slept in one bed & wants to sleep in that bed again, but when DD2 wants to sleep in that bed, DD1 gets grumpy & sulky & insists that DD2 should have it even though she wants it.

e.g. This morning DD2 want some of a particular colour of DD1's loombands that DD1 doesn't want to give to her but when I say she can keep them DD1 then gives them all to her.

And so on. It's really hard to deal with because when you try to enforce the perfectly reasonably wish of DD1 she then denies it & insists on DD2 having her way, to the point of screaming tantrums. She is not happy with that though, it's not selfishness, as she then is sulky & grumpy. Now she is lying in the bed she didn't want (which I didn't want her in either!) having refused to listen to stories & sighing heavily so I know she is unhappy.

I need a way of defusing somehow? I don't always want to impose DD1 wishes as sometimes they are not right but she is awful at just giving in to DD2 & then being unhappy with the result?!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Iggly · 21/06/2014 20:03

Ignore it!

Smartiepants79 · 21/06/2014 20:11

Well I'd be ignoring the huffing and puffing.
She is shooting herself in the foot. What would happen if you'd insisted on following through with what you know she wants. I.e insist she has the bed she wants?
If that causes more tantrums then I'd really just ignore.
What happens if you make a fuss of her doing something kind for her sister? Big praise for what a wonderful big sister she is for letting her sleep in the bed. ... And so on.
She needs to understand that there are consequences for her decisions. So, she either needs to start giving with better grace or accepting when you come in in her corner.

RandomMess · 21/06/2014 20:24

I think I'd be inclined to make the decisions and tell both of the dds to like it or lump it. If you wanted DD1 to sleep in the other bed then I would have vetoed the whole thing and insisted she did tbh.

Other than I'd ignore the huffing & puffing and leave her alone to accept her feelings about the situation.

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