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Parenting

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Original poster

Horrible mummy today...

17 replies

hayesgirl · 20/06/2014 18:37

I have a 2 (almost 3) yr old DS and 4 week old twins. DH went back to work today although this isn't the first day I have had all 3 children on my own.

Both the twins have been extremely high maintenance today and one or the other has been crying all day so DS has been somewhat neglected. As a result he's been a bit wild and of course that has meant that mean mummy has probably spent all day shouting at him!

Unless it's to tell him off I have barely interacted with him at all and I feel like a shitty mum!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Hatetidyingthehouse · 20/06/2014 18:50

Don't worry about it. You are doing your best and can't split yourself in 3

BotBotticelli · 20/06/2014 20:30

You sound like a superwoman to me! Keep ploughing on and survive each day as it comes. If your little boy had to watch a a lot of TV for the first few months of his siblings' lives it's not going to do him any harm. When the babies get a bit more settled in a couple of months time you can put more effort back into him.
In the meantime is there anyone else that can take him out for a fun day/morning at the park to give to a relative break?? A parent/friend??

HomeIsWhereTheHeartIs · 20/06/2014 20:34

I stand in awe before the mother of twins. You are amazing.

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Original poster

hayesgirl · 21/06/2014 08:24

Thank you - I didn't feel very super yesterday though. New day today though! Sun is shining, babies slept well (and are still sleeping), DS doesn't seem to hate me and my parents are visiting today (they live down South and we live up north) so the pressure will be off! : )

OP posts:

Bettercallsaul1 · 21/06/2014 09:57

That's the spirit, OP - take each day as it comes (and congratulate yourself for getting through it!)

Glad you are having a good one today!

ppeatfruit · 21/06/2014 15:18

Agree with all the above but here are a few ideas that might help. I'm an ex C.M. nanny EYs teacher and MOf 3 ! Is he keen to 'help' you with the baby stuff ? You could give him a star or some reward or other when he's helpful and try and ignore the negative stuff.

Make up a game with him, so he feels important, (giving the babies special names that he makes up or something like that). Get him to 'read' or make up a story to one of the twins while you look after the other one.

It's best not to ignore him (or just tell him off if he's a pain because that will just reinforce his bad behaviour).

ppeatfruit · 21/06/2014 15:21

He must be feeling very left out considering the twins are so new; give him lots of love and kisses too and TELL him you still love him (I know you don't need reminding ).

AuditAngel · 21/06/2014 17:41

I have a similar (slightly smaller) gap between DS and DD1, I know that is not twins, and I am in awe of mothers of multiples.

DS used to like to help, wave a toy, sing a song, do a silly dance to amuse DD, perhaps you can encourage him to help like this? DS also used to fetch nappies, wet ones, put the nappy sack in the rubbish and fetch Muslims. He would also run messages (I.e. Ask daddy to get me a drink/snack) and this gave him interaction with me, self importance as he could see how he was helping me, he also got lots of praise, both when he did it right, or he tried to help.

One thing I used to try to do if having a bad day, was to read to him when I was feeding. It wasn't easy (and probably wouldn't work if tandem feeding) but he could hold the book and I would read.

Try to make a little time just for him once your DH has got home and settled.

Good luck.

AuditAngel · 21/06/2014 17:43

By the way, that was meant to be wet wipes, not wet nappies!

AuditAngel · 21/06/2014 17:44

And, many apologies for the auto correct on Muslins (I didn't mean to offend anyone)

Original poster

hayesgirl · 21/06/2014 22:23

Thanks for the advice. Usually I do try to include him as much as possible but unfortunately yesterday I let the crying babies get the better of me and just didn't think at all. My patience was at an all time low too. That's why I felt so terrible about it - wasn't DS fault at all and actually given how little input he was actually getting he really wasn't that naughty at all!

We've had a really good day today though - my aim is just to have more of the days like today than days like yesterday!

OP posts:

NatashaBee · 21/06/2014 22:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

neversleepagain · 22/06/2014 00:32

It does get easier op. The first 3 months with twins was the most difficult thing I ever did.

wheresthelight · 22/06/2014 07:12

Omg you are my hero!!!!! I struggled with one baby let alone a toddler and twins!!

However that said leaving them to cry for 10 mins while you do a puzzle with ds won't harm them!

Are you bf or ff? If ff can you sit ds on the sofa with one twin and a bottle and you sit next to him with the other twin and a bottle and watch a film or something on TV together?

Maybe make sure dh looks after the twins when he getsin and you do bath amd bed with ds so he gets 121 wwith you? Maybe an extra story at bedtime as a sneaky treat?

Do the twins sleep in their pushchair? Maybe a walk to the park so you amd ds cam play while they sleep?

Ds will forgive you don't worry!! And once he sees he still gets time his behaviour will calm down xx

curiousuze · 22/06/2014 08:39

Audit I absolutely love the idea of your DS going off and fetching lots of helpful Muslim grannies!

ppeatfruit · 22/06/2014 17:28

My dm used to say the baby (or babies!) won't mind being left for a bit (as long as they're safe of course) but the older child will remember much more if he feels left out.

AuditAngel · 22/06/2014 19:50

Well, a slightly funny story. When I was a baby we lived in a very multicultural area, I am quite dark skinned, and in the days of yore, it was quite acceptable to put the baby in the pram in the front garden. One day there was loads of noise outside and a gaggle of Asian grannies were chattering over me and admiring me

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