Going out tonight, leaving bedtime to DH tonight - suggestions?

[rosepetalsoup]

Hiya, we have a lovely but tricky 20 month old who still has one breastfeed before bed. I have pretty much always put her to bed, but even so she hates to self settle and always needs lots of pick-up-put-down and cuddling. However, she does sleep through the night, usually from 8ish-6ish.

I have to go out tonight for work and so will need to leave DH in charge of bedtime. I'm not sure how we should play it. Should I give her her BF before I go, and then wave goodbye, rather than her missing out? Should he do my usual routine of bath, milk, story, bag, cot? Or just play and take her out to fall asleep in pram instead? To top it off she had a mammoth nap from 1-4 today, so my plans of leaving her pj'd up and sleepy at 7ish are not going to happen. Or should I suggest she just stays up til I get home at 9.30?

So confused and stressed. She's weirdly sensitive about bedtime and I am worried she'll be going ballistic crying in cot and DH won't be able to comfort her.

Any ideas welcome!

As you can tell, I really do need the night out/away!!

Just go out and let him do his best. If he worries touch about sticking to your routine it may stress him out a bit. Try to have the attitude of- he they will be fine and if she's in bed when you come home great, if not then you deal with it.
I should think that while there may be some tears it will in general be fine.

Yes, leave him to it. What does DH think you should do re the feed? Do that.

I guarantee that if you're not there she'll be fine for Dh

Leave him to do his best.
Recognise that he will be doing his best, do not judge him if he finds some bits hard or makes different choices to you. Let him and your DD learn together, let them do as much of the bedtime routine as possible. Go out a little earlier than planned rather than hanging around and making everyone anxious.

Ok, thanks ladies! You are stars. I obviously need to just go out and enjoy a few free wines though not too many it being work and relax a little.

PFB much?

And v good idea about going slightly early Cakes, unlike my current plan of probably leaving about 10 mins late, nearly in tears!

I am speaking from bitter experience, when I hung around frantically chipping in, making DH feel inadequate, giving off stress vibes to DD and making myself late. I now know what I should have done, but I know that doesn't make it any easier to actually do

Bless you, let me help; DD1, I was the same as you, worried about all her little likes and routines...

By DC3, just left DH and baby to work out their own way. They do, the evening may take a different shape...but I've learnt this, it won't matter because you are not there to see it!

They will be fine and it's good for all of you x

Leave him to it. He will find his own way, it will be good for the both of them. Enjoy your night out

Enjoy!

How did it go?

I had exact same position. Had to be out for work (though I never came home so DS 17mo knew I wasn't around). DH told him at tea time "no mama tonight" so he didn't stay awake waiting for me. Few tears. DH did bedtime routine except instead of b'feed gave DS a bottle of milk. He took it! Went down fine, rocked in DH arms rather than cot but each to their own he's strong enough to rock our little chunky monkey!

I was very nervous. But Dh did it fine his way and even said he enjoyed it... Now you have to enjoy your evening out!

My youngest is16 months and still breast fed, will only go to sleep on me, co sleeps etc. I'm a single parent so it's always been me that's done the whole bedtime routine.

Ds1 was poorly recently and I had to take him to the out of hours. Called useless ex round to watch his child (for the first time, he's never done anything for him ever!) and worried the whole time that DS4 would be screaming, upset etc.

They were fast asleep on the sofa when I got back! He had just dozed off watching a film. He's never done that for me! I was pissed off a little put out that he found it so easy! Pleased that ds4 wasn't upset though...

How did it go?

Hi ladies! It was ok in that I didn't worry and enjoyed myself. DD ended up having to go to sleep in pram and be ferried up by DH - but all was well. Thanks for your support!