Aibu to pretty much give up on nursery (r3) and start over in sept?

[BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability]

We have to travel to get ds1 (3.8) to nursery for his rising three place, which is already difficult because i have severe mobility impairments and am often ill. He has a place at the local nursery for his 'proper' nursery place in september.

We already have asd concerns for both him and his brother, on top of that we have learnt that he has no friends. He cries every day that he doesnt want to go to nursery. When he starts 'school nursery' in september, there will be children there that we know, so he has ready made friends, and the mobility is less of a problem as its over the road from home (then also less cost, as we are having to pay bus fare every day)

I'm finding myself very blasé about getting him there, and although i am ill anyway, going to less effort than before. Do i need a kick up the bum, or do you think it is okay to write it off for now?

Some people have kindly pointed out to me before, that they think what i think are asd behaviours, are him being pent up from not getting out enough, so i'm kind of paranoid about it :(

Do what you feel is right.

People will point out all sorts of spurious reasons for ASD behaviours especially at that age.

Just ignore them. Sounds to me like you should just wait until September.

I'd leave it for now. Start afresh in Sept.

I agree with the others, go with your gut feeling on what is right for you & your boy, this nursery doesn't sound to be it.

Just get out to your local park & let him run off some steam instead, or even just some active games or trumpet in the garden if you have one - not so much because I'm agreeing that the ASD implications are your fault, but because having been in your situation, it alleviates any guilt you might feel.

You might also want to look into "Debrowskis Sensibilities" because very bright kids can also share some traits of ASD & it's often overlooked & if your health problems have anything that could be linked to Ehlers Danlos/Joint Hypermobility, seems there's a link

Good luck

Whoops - trampet

I also remembered the Debrowskies thing wrong

It's HERE

Thanks all :)

Rocking, yes i have hms (as well as autoimmune arthritis) and me and ds1 have genetics counselling coming up as he is showing signs of that too, to have him looked at and then see if they will officially class it as eds-hm.

I'll have a look at debrowski. Sounds interesting

Bizarrely there's a high proportion of Hypermobile kids who are gifted, I've a DD & we used to call her tigger when she was tiny as she just bounced non stop - she's was also hypersensitive to labels etc - she's turned out to be a gregarious & very well adjusted, "gifted" 11yr old who also now has a diagnosis of EDSH (as do I) so I suspect the link will ring a lot of bells for you cc

Searching took me to your thread here rockin, and your description of your dd in that fits me to a tee! The 'should have done better' from a teacher and her reaction actually happened to me in high school word for word!

The thing jumping out at me from the link is the potential for compulsive eating. Ds1 will steal food and is always hungry.

That's Funny, I've just updated that thread, before seeing this - I removed her from that school & she is thankfully now so much happier in her new one.

That could just be an age/growth spurt thing, unless he always does it ?

though I do remember DD having some odd ways with food when she was tiny too - though in her case she used to stash it for later - it got so bad we used to have to go looking for her stash of moulding food, to stop her eating it & she just kept moving it to a new hiding place,