So what is it really like with a newborn and a three year old?

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I have no idea what is going ti hit in October when this baby arrives - DD will be a month off three and currently adores babies and strokes my bump and sings to it etc. But will she handle the new babys arrival well?

And last time round I could slouch about in my dressing gown those first few weeks! Im imagining therell be a lot less of that.

She goes to preschool in January (every afternoon) which will be good for her and give me a bit of housework and 1:1 with baby time. She currently goes to a CM when im working (shifts so only there two/three days pw), but am contemplating keeping two days a week on so she gets some time to just play with other kids her age and what not.

Any practical tips on handling naptimes and bedtime? Any toys etc that have been good at keeping the elder one entertained during feeds etc (will be ffing if that makes any difference)

Ok - I have a 10wo and a 3.6yo. It's been hard work! 3yo watched a ton of telly when baby was new, which was a little counter-productive as the effect on his behaviour wasn't great. He's been better in the good weather when he can run round the garden to burn energy when we can't get out any further.

He has lots of brilliant toys but although he used to be good at playing independently, he wants a lot more input now that the baby is here. It's nice if you can come up with some games you can play together whilst feeding.

Although he's fond of the baby, he has lashed out and hit him a couple of times - it's hard for them to control their emotions and it's such a big upheaval. That's been hard to deal with.

And we had toilet training regression which involved a fortnight cleaning up poo. We bribed our way through that with the promise of a special toy if he went a week without an accident and he's been clean and dry since (fingers crossed!).

I would definitely recommend keeping the days at the childminder - my son loves to go once a week and it's great for him to get the interaction and me to get a break.

The worst time of day is 5-7pm when baby is cranky and toddler is tired, grubby and reluctant to go to bed. Have wine in reserve for afterwards!

It's been a big change and I have found it challenging, but it is worth it. I'm breastfeeding though, which makes it a bit more relentless - ffing might be different. Good luck!

If you want to keep her at the child minders just so that she can socialise, couldn't you take her to playgroup etc yourself?

We bought a doll so that he could look after his baby. There are some good tips on kellymom.

I bloody hate playgroups

She has friends allready at the CMs and can do a full day with them. I will be returning to work after this one so she will need to go back to a CMs anyways. Dropping to two days a week will keep her place.

I have a 3 and a half yo dd1 and a 4 month old dd2. My mil gave me the best advice ever - feed the baby, change the baby and then put the baby down! Spend as much time as you can with your older child as they know what it's like to have your attention and will miss it - and that can lead to them resenting the baby. The baby doesn't know any different - you can give them lots of attention when your older child is not around at first, then when they are 'established' in your family (it can take a few weeks for you to get used to it now being 'the four of us', rather than the 3 of us - oh yes, and the baby too!) you can give them more attention when your older child is there.

I wouldn't worry too much about the baby sleeping at first - they'll have to get used to more noise than your first child had, and they'll quickly learn to sleep through it. Bedtimes though, and morning routines are the hardest - esp if you're trying to get out and the baby suddenly needs an extra feed or a nappy change - just go with it and you'll find your feet gradually.

Try to do some things with your older child that you did before the baby came - when dd2 was a few weeks old I started baking again with dd1 - we used to do a lot of baking and she loves it. We put dd2 on a mat or in a bouncy chair to watch us and got on with it, and it did bring some sense of normality back.

While feeding, get dd1 to find a pile of books - or have a special 'feeding book' to read to her. Other than that, cbeebies is brill - though she's watching a lot more than I'd like right now. We're gradually cutting down... or set her up with an activity like stickers or colouring etc.

Above all, be kind to yourself. There will be days when you feel like you are a total zombie through lack of sleep - try to catch zzzs where and when you can - even a 10 min rest can help and even if you don't totally fall asleep. And say yes to anyone who offers you any kind of help!!!

Good luck and enjoy this very special time. DD2 is amazing - I keep looking at her then at dd1 and thinking - how did this (a baby) turn into this (a gorgeous - who's biased??? - little girl)!!!

Forgot to say - keep bigging up dd1 as the most amazing big sister - 'Wow - look, the baby's watching you - she thinks you're really cool' / 'What a great big sister you are' / 'oh no - the phone's ringing and I'm feeding - would you be a really big help and pass me the phone?' / 'Look - she's smiling at you - she want's to do what you're doing' etc

My dd1 adores her little sister and did from the start. But be prepared for her to play up for you more than usual. And a nursery friend told me that they can suddenly get clingy towards you when the baby is 2-4 months old when they realise that it's here to stay!!!

Thanks books and to eveyone who has posted.

DD is obsessed with babies and loves other peoples and im so so hoping this bump is put-downable so dd and I can still do plenty of jigsaws etc.

DDs favourite toy at the moment is the fancy dress box - I can totally see her sticking on her costumes and entertaining ds.

Went out for a big walk in the woods today amd just felt that the extra set of little legs on the way has a place in this family already - that we have a little gap that will soon be filled with another child and a playmate for dd.

I had a newborn and a three-year old (they are 12 and 9 now). I can't remember a thing. I must have blocked it out. Sleep, probably. Just sleep.

I had a newborn and a 2 and a half year old and I actually found it better this time round. Not easier ,don't get me wrong BUT I couldn't laze about with my thoughts ; I suffered post natal and I think the fact I could do that made it worse. The second time round I had to basically get On with it ,and even though it's harder it keeps me on my ties and do believe because of this I've managed to keep my anxiety and depression at bay.

There's 3 yrs and 6 weeks between mine. Currently 2 and 5, so ygst's 'newborn and 3 yo' phase isn't too far away.

It was hard. Really hard, easier first 6 months, ten Gardner once dd was moving, then really hard when I went back to work a bit over a year later.

I'd really recommend keeping your dd at the CM for some time. It will allow her to keep up with people her age, her friends and allow you some time with the baby.

I pre made all my bottles got the day in advance and kept them in the fridge. You're not really meant to, but I did.

DS was bored of play groups by this age. I think we went to every museum in Yorkshire the winter dd was born though!

Accept all offers of help! Dd was born by crash emcs and I had trouble standing up for a week or so then was quite uncomfortable to walk for 2 months!

Get everything delivered. Online supermarkets and Kiddicare are your friends!

DS adored his little sister to start with, but the novelty wore off after a month or so.

Everything takes longer than you think it should, even if you have accounted for your first child. You ready to go out, child ready - baby's been sick, needs changing - on no, dc1 has taken their shoes off....

Oh I premade bottles with dd so will.make sure i do that again. I had four at a time done last time but have bought a box of six this time so will do them all.

I always used to pack the changebag every evening woth dd so will get back into that habit - am more laksidasical now she no longer needs nappies and milk when out.