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Original poster

advice please

4 replies

awishes · 19/06/2014 22:28

DH and I in the process of nasty divorce. He has been seeing OW and our 2 teens have unfortunately seen numerous facebook postings of the 2 of them and also when he bought her to our home town

The dilemma is that it is the youngest's birthday and she just does not want to see her Dad. She is angry and upset that he has broken up the family and has not spoken to him for a number of weeks.

What should I do? I am struggling to find the words to encourage her to meet with him and keep trying to get her to see that long term she should have contact with him but she is adamant that she won't.

Any help gratefully received

OP posts:
Millie3030 · 19/06/2014 22:37

Not sure I can help, but the relationship board under body and soul or something like that will probably be really helpful. I think there is a divorce section as well you could put this on too. X

BadFam1 · 19/06/2014 22:41

I would let her figure things out for herself. This was my experience so I think I understand how your dd might be feeling.

I was 15 when my parents got divorced due to my mother having a long affair. Despite never having much of a relationship with my dad I chose to live with him and absolutely refused to speak to or see my mother. Like your daughter I was furious at my mum for breaking up my family and I wanted nothing to do with her. I didn't talk to her for several months whilst I guess I got used to the idea and watched my dad heal. Once my dad moved on I started talking to my mum again and now a very long time later we are the best of friends again.

I guess what I am trying to say is you can't force it. She needs to come to terms with what has happened and she probably feels she is trying to be loyal to you by shunning him. She will calm down in her own time, all you can do is be supportive, show her you are ok and happy and hopefully she will want to reconnect with her dad once it all blows over.

Hth

Original poster
awishes · 19/06/2014 22:46

Thank you, thats how I feel really, but also feel guilty that I'm not doing enough to encourage her. I can totally understand how she feels! Thanks for sharing your experience.

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Original poster
awishes · 19/06/2014 22:47

How do I move my question?!

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