2yo and 4yo sharing bedroom and messing about at bedtime

[lighteningmcmama]

Hi

Please help! We went on holiday 4 weeks ago, we all shared a room and they messed about so much every night. Now they've got into the habit and back at home in their shared room they still mess about.They egg each other on as well. They still won't sleep without me/dh in the room (this was fine before when they slept fine), but in my frustration I tried a few nights just leaving the room at lights out, however it didn't reduce the messing about at all.

I have last weekend put up blackout blinds and also hubby who is usually never around at bedtime has been around all week and has put them to sleep a few nights. In this time, they went to sleep nicely.

Now last night and tonight I put them to sleep again and they started messing about again. So amongst the factors causing their poor sleep is the issue that they seem to be specifically testing boundaries with me.

What can I do? I've been in tears once and tonight almost in tears again. It doesn't help that I'm 24w pregnant and have a lot of leg pain and no energy for this.

I should also mention that I think 4yo ds is not well atm. Possible ear infection. But this allows for a little rattiness not full on being very naughty running around the place

Do you have a routine for them, bath story bed kind of thing?

I would settle the youngest first and then the 4 year old, it gives the four year old a sence of being bigger and trusted.

It will take time to break the bad habits but sitting a bit further away from the bed and ignoring each night should work.

My DD is now 6 (youngest of 3) and still has her cd layer on to fall to sleep to.

It's bloody exhausting andi feel your pain

Thank you for your reply.

We do have a routine, we have dinner then bath majority of nights, then into pjs, choose a story each which I then read to them, then lights out, and before the holiday they then used to go to sleep.

The timing was a bit messed up while away, it's still later than I want (would like into bed 7.30, it was getting to 8.30, I've managed to pull it back to 8 atm)

Dh is rarely home by bedtime, what can I do with ds while I settle dd? He likes to be around me and dd the whole day (after preschool I mean)

Also I should have said, he doesn't nap in the day, and dd rarely does now either.

Do you think it's worth trying a CD/audio file? I'm worried it would make them more awake?

Thanks for your reply. I did try just letting go a bit, and accepting they will mess about a bit. I saw the book 'oliver donnington rimmington sneep'on our bookshelf and then remembered that! Maybe I just didn't carry it through properly. I sat outside the room thinking they can mess about but not leave the room. Then it became a game to come to the door and wait for me to put them back in their beds! It was a bit like when kids ring a doorbell and run off-they were intentionally trying to tease me...

I don't know what to do next...I watched an episode of super Nanny but it didn't seem to get yo the crux of the issue I'm facing-in that the child was v violent at bedtime.

I had this lot with mine (first DD1 and DD2 sharing, then when DD1 had her own room DD2 and DS sharing). Mostly I just did my best to completely ignore it (and would then often find the younger one passed out fast asleep on the floor!). But if I particularly wanted some quiet time or for one or other to get to sleep early I would put the older one into my bed with the door shut and maybe a few picture books, usually the younger one would drop off pretty quickly and once they had done so i would put older one back, or sometimes they would both drop off quickly and I'd carry the older one back.

Stair gate on the door stops them leaving if they are messing around (I had one of the pressure mounted travel stair gates you can put on any door and are hard to climb over as no bars to get a foot hold on!)

I've thought about separating them but 4yo ds just wouldn't stay in another room. I know because 2yo dd used to be in with us till 4 months ago and every night when i went up with dd he would follow me up...

I'm truly at my wits end. I tried a new strategy tonight from super Nanny of removing privileges-started out with no cake after swimming tomorrow, and we've rapidly deteriorated to no swimming at all (and that's not because I played all my cards too quickly! At least I don't think I did)

I'm truly desperate now.