Is 18 months too young to go to bed without any dinner?

[JellyBeansHaveNoAgeLimit]

DS didn't even touch the fish pie i had made for dinner.

We left him for some time but it was clear he wasn't going to eat it so i took it away & gave him a bowl of weetabix (plain but filling was my thought).

DH says i shouldn't have given in to him & let him go hungry but i feel 18 months is just too young & he won't understand why I've let him go hungry. DH thinks he is smarter than i am giving him credit for.

Thoughts? WWYD?

I don't agree with any age children going to bed hungry.

I think you did the right thing.

Too young. No point creating a battle at that age. I'd say more like 3+

No way, what is your husband thinking?

I think 18 months is too young

However I don't agree with children who are old enough to understand refusing meals knowing they can get cereal/toast/a sandwich

You were definitely right to give him something he would eat - he's still a baby! His tastes are changing - maybe the smell of the fish put him off?

Far too young.

Oh my goodness far too young.

I think it's an awful punishment anyway but for a baby!

I would never consider sending to bed without dinner to punish at any age.
But I would never punish over food issues- it is storing up problems for the future.

I wouldn't expect my husband to go to bed without any dinner if I made something he didn't really like, so I'd never expect a child to do that.

Eighteen month kids aren't out to be naughty, he may have just not liked it. What can you do? I think you did precisely he right thing. Children's tastes often go through a fussy and bland stage at about your son's age, and giving him an alternative isn't spoiling him or anything else.

Agree-hunger should never be a punishment option.

As he grows if it seems an issue is developing, i'd ensure the child didn't have a preferred alternative or that the other option is better than first choice, but equally a child shouldn't go to bed hungry as it's cruel and can store up all sorts of issues around food (when used as reward/withheld etc), so a plain, boring something would be given-bread/crackers/oatcakes etc.

WAAY too young.

I wouldn't starve my almost 4 yo for refusing dinner. I would do exactly as you did and make the alternatives boring.

Thanks all.
DH is a lovely dad and would never do anything to intentionally upset DS. DS is a brilliant eater normally so i think his reasoning was that he won't starve & he thinks DS knows he will get something else if he doesn't eat the first thing.

I am a bit of a softy so wasn't sure. Its so difficult deciding if he's old enough or not!

I think its really an old fashioned thing and your son is just a baby really, I wouldnt offer anything right away though take his dinner awayvif he isnt eating it but make sure he has something before bed, fwiw my dh was like that with dd1 20 yrs ago she was a fusspot eater but I wouldn't let her go to bec hungry either

I always offered pudding (fruit and plain yoghurt) at that age, regardless of how much is eaten. Didn't start making it dependent on having a go at the main until nearer 3.

Not really useful to send him to bed hungry at that age so you did the right thing by offering him something plain that you know he will eat. Sending an 18 month old to bed hungry is only making work for yourself as he will just wake up cranky and starving at stupid o'clock and you'll be the one getting up to feed him!

Also, he wouldn't really get that he was being punished. He might just not be hungry anyway. I do get the frustration of food refusal though. My DS ate great until he was about 18 months and since then, for the past year, it's just been a case of being thankful he eats anything at all...

Oh yes, agree with mrsjayy to leave some time between ending the offered meal and giving him the plain food he likes so he doesn't think he can always get the food he wants by refusing dinner.

I would give supper 1/2 an hour before bed if dinner was refused, but wouldn't give an alternative at dinner time. Long enough for them to have forgotten that they refused their dinner and hopefully enough time to work up a real appetite if they weren't hungry earlier. But I do have very early wakers. So antsy thing to stop the 5ams!!

Also, I've stopped snacks for my 16mo twins this past week as they were fussy for dinner and lunch but devouring their (mostly) sweet snacks. Hey presto, beating much better at meals and not really affected throughout the day.

My dd is 18mo, and depending on the day she's had/ what time she ate lunch/ what she had/ how many bits of biccie she's eaten from the bottom of the toy box / her teeth or whatever, she's been known to refuse trusted meals, we offer an alternative (normally weetabix -snap!-) and if she refuses that I would be torn between a- she's being a pain and b- there's something wrong with her, I want her to eat something
Neither would = her going to bed without having eaten something, unless she was ill and I'd probably call 111

I'd only consider using 'eat it or be hungry' once they are old enough to understand and comprehend what that means...... 18mo isn't that age..

I would have asked DS to have a spoonful, just one and then let him try something else. Wouldn't have send him to bed with no food but I wouldn't just have offered something different.

They normally try a spoonful and continue eating whatever the were not willing to touch.

With a normally good eater I wouldn't offer anything unless they asked for food. I have come to find after 4 DC refusing dinner in a good eater is often a sign they are going to be ill. It is ok to not be hungry sometimes.

For more persistent refusal of previously enjoyed meals I offer pudding if I am doing pudding and a drink of milk and that is it.

DS2 3.6 has only eaten between 2 and 4 dinners a week in about 2 years. He generally eats a healthy breakfast and lunch so he isn't starving. I could give him pizza, bolognese, curry and rice, spaghetti hoops or fish and salad every night and know he would eat it but am trying to broaden his horizons a bit.

I agree with what you did- give him something, not a treat but something. He's too young to go hungry and won't understand.

18 months is also prime time for teething - I find DD is normally a good eater but much fussier when she's teething. Or coming down with something. So there could be a perfectly good reason for his refusal, not just "fussiness".

Hungry doesn't just mean not saying dinner. Hungry means going all day without food. We do have a tendency to over feed our children. An 18 month old can go to bed without dinner , it won't matter. Another poster rightly said, if he was hungry he would have eaten dinner .
It probs better than making a huge issue out of it.