Toddler holding in poo - please tell me if you've dealt with this??

[notmuchofaclue]

DD is 2yo and got constipated a while ago (just over a month). We took her to the docs who prescribed Movicol, and this seemed to help. But the problem is she is purposefully holding it in, and has been for a while - and now it just seems to be getting worse. Even with the Movicol she's now gone nearly 4 days without a poo, but spends all her time visibly clenching to hold it in, and constantly wailing about it. I know it's become a control thing, because for a while we were trying to encourage her to poo, and I now know that was probably the wrong thing to do. When she does eventually go, it's also soft so she's not really constipated.
It's impossible to tell if she's in discomfort or if the wailing about pooing is just something she's doing for attention because she probably knows it's something that the adults are focused on. We've tried to avoid showing that we're stressed about it but I don't know how successful that is being as we are totally stressed out by it!! And it feels like it's taking over our lives.
Can anyone tell me if they've dealt with this before, any advice would be very welcome!

I am (still) dealing with this. DS1 is 3 and has been withholding his poo since he was 2. We've done the movicol thing and now he's able to articulate himself he has told me he doesn't want to poo as he's scared it will hurt. He eats lots of fruit and drinks orange juice everyday so his poo is soft but he's still scared.
I don't really know what to recommend as we're sti in the midst of it all.

He used to scream and shout when he was pooing and if we were out it would be double trauma!
He's potty trained for wees now but I still put a nappy on him to poo as he won't go on the toilet either but because he withholds still he can often have poo coming out over a couple of days, which is really unpleasant.
There is light at the end of the tunnel - after trying everything, including bribery (none of it worked!) he has just his week starts to say 'I need a poo' and sit on his potty. We've had a little bit of luck and a couple of (small) poos but it's all progress so I'm happy!
I would probably keep up with the movicol and give it time. Unless there's a real physical issue your DD will get there in her own time, with a little help from you.

Good luck! :)

Thanks Surf - I was worried that we're in for the long haul with this. She's such a determined little thing that she's just not going to change her mind any time soon. I'm really glad you're getting a bit of progress though - but how on earth have you dealt with it for a year though?! I feel like I'm losing my marbles already.

It has been very trying.

I never thought he'd be potty trained to be honest - I had visions of him in nappies as a grown man but he's done quite well. I did get very frustrated with him (tried not to show it) and it isn't very nice when he is withholding and he smells of poo as I don't really like to take him anywhere :(

He used to get really angry with me whenever I tried to mention anything to do with pooing/toilets/anything and was very anxious about it (he's also scared of public toilet hand dryers) so I stopped mentioning it at all. Now he's a bit older and told me about his worries of it hurting I focus more on the 'let's have some juice to make the poo soft so it doesn't hurt you' or 'if you have this medicine your poo will be all soft and it won't hurt when you go' etc
He seems to have responded well to that and talks about having orange juice so he can go to the toilet easily (!)
Sorry I can't offer anymore help! I believe it's quite common though so you're not alone!

DD used to do this after she was potty trained. We went to the doctor too, but she wouldn't drink the Movicol.

She LOVES Dr Ranj so when an episode about constipation can on I Sky +ed it and kept putting it on every now and then. It seemed to do the trick. She's now very proud of her poos and calls us over to show us how big they are...

When she was holding them in, she'd do them in her night time nappy and they'd be rock hard.

came on

Both my DD and niece have been through this. Their bottoms were quite sore after constipation so movicol was used to soften the poo to the point where they couldn't really hold it so they could re learn that it didn't hurt to poo.
If you're DD has been constipated she may still think it will hurt so it may be worth upping her dose for a while so it's near impossible for her to hold it and then she'll get used to it not hurting anymore and then reduce the dose back done.

We had this. What worked well was potty seat as more comfortable for the long haul sessions and bends their legs higher I think. Soft poo food, pears, fruit, water, kiwis etc, liquidy food I.e no fast food, pizza nuggets chips etc are the worst. Try and load them up with this and poo at set time e.g before bed. DVD, iPad, stories on potty and once they gain confidence it won't hurt you will be flying.

went through this with my dd. she toilet trained quickly for pees but would not poo. she would withhold until it came out in her sleep. eventually after months of this I let her do it in a nappy and she stopped withholding straight away. I too had visions of her never pooing in the toilet but eventually (over a year later) she did and now has no problems.

thelast I know that episode of Dr Ranj well!
"where does your poo come from, why does it stop....."

Thanks for the advice - never even heard of Dr Ranj, I must investigate!!
We weren't planning on potty training until later this year, I am a bit worried about whether she'll still be having the same problems by then, as I can see it could just make it worse. Have taken the suggestion to give her more Movicol which seems to have helped today so will keep on with that, as you say she just needs to realise it's not going to hurt. I think it must hurt more trying to hold it in, she gets in such a state.
Still, it's good to know it's not just us and thanks all for the advice, fingers crossed we'll get it sorted soon.

We had some witholding and the book "poo goes home to pooland" was really helpful. You can download it for free and print it off, though you'd have to Google it as i cant link.

My dd did this at 2 . It got to the point where she would be constantly walking on tiptoes and doing what we called the "poo dance" trying to hold it in. She wasn't potty trained at the time but after 6 months I had reached the end of my tether. We upped her movicol dose and got one of those little toilet seats that goes over the toilet. When I knew she was desperate I would literally pick her up and hold her on the toilet seat. she would scream and it was awful the first few times but she couldn't hold it in and I figured a few seconds upset was better than the week long agony shE had been putting herself through. After about three times and lots of treats afterwards she had forgotten that pooing used to hurt and the bonus was I had a toilet trained toddler! She is 3.3 now and still needs reminding to poo but the withholding no longer happens. Good luck, I remember how awful it was.

Hi OP my 2yr old did something similar for a couple of months or more after a bout of constipation. It was awful and she used to be permanently whining that her tummy hurt etc. I used to just try and support her and spell out what needed to happen really, which I'm sure you're already doing. So I'd say 'when you push the poo out you will feel so much better, come and hold my hands and we'll push it out together' - that sort of thing. Lots off 'poo-coaching' :) Then lots of praise after the event, too, and talking about how she feels better because she pushed the poo out yada yada. She wanted to hold on to something while she pushed - a table, cupboard door, leg...

There are the obvious diet adjustments, and something that made her poo very quickly was freshly squeezed orange juice. I also took her off her vitamins for a few weeks and that seemed to help. I decided to potty train her while this was going on (the bonus of a withholding toddler is at least you know when the poo is coming!) She trained quite easily and is absolutely fine now - no trace of poo anxiety. Good luck, I'm sure it won't last long.

Booboolou and madmomma - how much past 2 were your dcs when you decided to try potty training? Dd is only just 2, and she's not really showing any signs of being ready, but I had wondered whether it was worth getting one of the loo seats for her to try.
I've also ordered a few poo books on Amazon (how random that these things even exist!!) so we'll see if that helps. It doesn't seem to make a blind bit of difference if we encourage her to do it, or ignore the 'poo dance' (I know exactly what you mean about that!). The worst thing is that she can be in a great mood, and then as soon as the urge to poo appears and she starts trying to hold it in, her mood totally changes.

Mine was 2 and half when she potty trained - she wouldn't even sit on a potty before that. Just keep trying to encourage her, giving her loads of fluids and praise. It'll pass

Mine still withholds at 6. It's her normal. We potty trained at almost 3 and she was fine with poos for about 6 months and then it all went horribly wrong.

Keep up with the movicol so there is no chance of her having a hard poo. This is the key. Don't worry about her taking it long term.

You might find potty training is okay if she has learnt that poos don't hurt anymore.

Dd was 2.4 when we started the toilet seat thing and tbh had it not been for the nightmare poo situation I would have left off a while longer. We ended up at the constipation clinic for her and it was the nurse there who suggested the loo seat. I was pretty adamant that she wasn't ready but the nurse there basically said since nappies weren't helping and we had to retrain her to poo anyway we may as well bite the bullet and put her on the loo. The nurse also said that if we did eventually start having success with pooing in nappies we would then have to potty train anyway which may well put us back to square one with the poos .