Baby blues??

[beckiebee04]

I had a baby just over a week ago, at first it was a little overwhelming but now I find myself gettin upset a lot, my partner was over the moon at first about the baby but I don't know if the novelty has worn off? He was more than helpful at first, but now he will gladly let me do the night feeds and day feeds/changing baby, he even went to sleep downstairs because it was too "hot", more like I was keeping him awake feeding, I find myself crying alot now and feeling all alone, is this normal?

Hormone shifts are normal, but if you don't feel it's normal for YOU please talk to someone, GP or health visitor, PND can be very dangerous and hard to spot.

Have you talked to your partner about his behaviour? Does he help much during day time? This isn't just your baby, he has to pull his weight.

I found the first four weeks particularly a total blur of emotions, but I did develop PND and I wish I asked for help sooner.

Congratulations, too

Congratulations!

It was normal for me, even with a very supportive partner. I'm normally a very level person and I found the first six weeks after birth very rollercoastery.

I'm sorry your partner isn't pulling his weight. I agree you need to talk to him about how you feel. It sucks when you're going through this and don't have the emotional, let alone practical support.

Do you have family support?

Congratulations on your first week of motherhood. I have older children - but I'm sleeping downstairs tonight because it's so hot.

If I may offer some tips that helped me with my first child, forget about the housework and get as much rest as possible. Don't try to be a "super mum" straight away (you never will be I'm still trying after 16 years).

Don't be afraid to accept help regardless how small that help might be.

Go for a walk on your own (if possible) and leave baby with your partner - it doesn't have to be a long walk (20 mins or so) just to get out of the house and get some air. You will feel better for it.

To be brutally honest, babies don't do an awful lot in the first few weeks apart from drink, sleep and poo - and that gets boring. I don't think the "novelty" has worn off your partner, he's probably waiting for the baby to "do" something else, also it's a huge life change for the three of you. Also don't inadvertently criticise your partner when he is feeding/changing baby - ie., "don't do it that way do it this way" as that will make him more reluctant to help out and shoots down his confidence. I use to say to my husband, "the baby drinks much better when you're doing the feed" (okay I lied but it meant I got to have a rest)

Like the other posters said speak to your health nurse - you won't be the first or the last to ask her and she will have great advice.

Enjoy your time with your new babyxxxx

Yea I have family support but don't want them knowing that my partner isn't pulling his weight otherwise there will be an atmosphere, my partner does know how I feel but just ends in an argument, he states he can't wait to return to work which makes me feel even worse. He only does baby related things when I ask him to, not off his own back, maybe a man thing ??
I know this stage hormones are everywhere and I can feel that

Don't YOU not ask for help you need because there may be consequences for HIM.

Babies are hard, you need breaks and some help, if he's not providing that help and support then other people need to be allowed into the void. If there is an atmosphere about that, it's because he is behaving badly towards you and your week old baby.

Is there often an "atmosphere" at home?

Last few days ye due to lack of sleep n me saying something to him

Congratulations!! The "man thing" to do would be to step up and behave like a decent human being and give you a break. Ask for help from your family- if that causes an atmosphere for him then tough- you JUST had a baby!!!!

I had the baby blues- I started to cry on around day 4 (when my milk came in) and didn't stop for about a fortnight. Sometimes it was tiny, irrelevant things (TV adverts,cards I received), sometimes it was the BIG things( What the fuck have we done?????). It was awful. And I had a partner who really cared and pulled his weight (all be it in a terrified, rabbit in the headlights way).
Get some help in. Go for a little walk or a long bath. The crying is completely normal. New babies are really hard. It gets easier. Quicker than you can imagine now.
Enjoy your new baby!