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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

my 6 year old is addicted to Ipad and to Minecraft

158 replies

newnametoday1 · 17/06/2014 21:49

This is a cry for help. My bright 6 year old is absolutely addicted to his iPad - first it started with the odd tv program that we downloaded for him, then to him searching for shows he liked on you tube and now it is minecraft - both playing and watching the videos or others playing minecraft that have been loaded up onto you tube.

If we let him he would sit on it all day (of course we don't as he goes to school). It is the first thing he wants when he wakes up in the morning and when he comes home from school. If he does not get it he kicks off often throwing things round the room if we refuse to give him it (cushions etc). This normally results in him being sent to his bedroom.

We know we need to solve this now. He seems to have a proper addiction to the iPad. We have tried to limit hos time on the ipad for say half an hour in the morning and say an hour or two in the evening but he instigates stalling tactics and often will not hand the ipad back. We do not think that going "cold turkey" is the way to go but we are at a lost about the best way to proceed.

I've looked to see if I can find any relevant threads on this but I can't. I was wondering if there are any information resources that could help us with this. Thanks very much

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commonorgarden · 17/06/2014 23:04

My 7 yo 'doesn't like' picture books any more (or so he says) so we've gone on to a chapter or so of a bigger book a night, Charlie and the choc fact for eg. Or his school reader.

Tweasels · 17/06/2014 23:06

Minecraft and the YouTube videos have some kind of voodoo power over children. As many others have said, those of us with young children recognise it and to some extent have had to deal with it.

I think we were all just taken aback by your reticence to do anything about it as if it is a problem that exists beyond your control - which it definitely isn't.

My DS is 9 and is currently banned from using his ipod or the ipad for a week for poor behaviour in school. Honestly, he's like a different boy. More chatty, kinder to his sister, wanting to do things (like reading) that he's just not normally that bothered about. And I was very strict about his usage before this. No mornings, not in bed and only after homework done etc.

I think minecraft is a really constructive game and I've never been too worried about screen time but after seeing what I've seen this week I'm having a bit of a rethink.

ExitPursuedByABear · 17/06/2014 23:08

Whenever dd has her iPhone removed even she recognises that she is more chilled.

That poor boy.

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iloveweetos · 17/06/2014 23:08

I don't think anyfucker is being harsh. You're the parent. Take charge and just take it away! Also why isn't there a password on it? Dd knows the password on our iPad but knows to ask before using it. Every day on the iPad is too much IMO. If he doesn't want u to read to him, get him to do his reading homework before bed. And in time he should open up to other books
Hope it all works out and soon x

commonorgarden · 17/06/2014 23:10

And the minecraft books are the hot craze in school at the mo. Think about 10 7 yo boys all reading in the playground at break time. They are as boring as hell but not badly written. Good luck!

PhoebeMcPeePee · 17/06/2014 23:11

Another vote for set screen free days & definitely not at bedtime on any day. They soon stop pestering when they realise no amount of negotiation, pestering or tantrums will change this & too much will lose another day that week (ie "ask me again & you won't be playing tomorrow either" and follow through if need be.

When I felt my eldest DS was getting too obsessed with tv/games after a week long total ban (initially painful but ultimately successful) we agreed a new weekly timetable, stuck it on the fridge & he knows exactly what he is allowed on which days - any extra is a bonus but not to be asked for!!

davidjrmum · 17/06/2014 23:13

Would people have the same reaction on here if a child was spending the same amount of the day playing with lego, or is it just because it's something electronic. Our ds goes through phases of playing on an electronic gadget but I'd no sooner ban the ipad than I would ban him playing lego (and some days he'll play lego before school for an hour and after school for 2-3 hours). I'm not sure if banning something just makes it seem more desirable. Like the OPs ds, our ds is doing very well at school and he does do other after school activities plus we are usually out over the weekend so that limits how much time he spends on gadgets or lego without us having to have particular rules about it. We do have a rule about no electronic gadgets after 6pm though as I think it affects his sleep if he plays on something too close to bedtime.

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 17/06/2014 23:14

Is it his iPad or yours?

OddFodd · 17/06/2014 23:14

I think the issue here is that it's the DS's ipad rather than the family's one.

My DS likes minecraft but I won't let him play it on my computer very much because I need it for work and he's never ever allowed any computer/ipods/DSs in his room. Cold turkey will kill the addiction. I'd ban it all together during the week and tell him that if he kicks off he loses time at the weekend. For every 5 mins of tantrumming, he loses 10 mins on the ipad. He'll get the message soon enough if he's as bright as you say he is

Original poster

newnametoday1 · 17/06/2014 23:15

Not sure why you think there is reticence? we have been trying to deal with this but as I said constant stalling and push back and arguing at 10 o'clock is not appealing (the last week or so). My son is really super charged; everyone says so and will continue doing things/ going on far past the normal stamina of a 6 year old. As I said earlier cold turkey at night seems to be the way to go rather then small amount of screen time which is what we have been doing the last 10 days. Will try Roald Dahl and the audio cd's will definitely be novel.

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Original poster

newnametoday1 · 17/06/2014 23:17

PhoebeMcPeePee some great ideas - thanks. The ipad is his.

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CuttedUpPear · 17/06/2014 23:17

My DS is like yours OP. On the computer screen all the time, argues when I ask him to come off it.

Oh...

And he's 17.

When he was 6 it was bed and story every night. No computers allowed in room til age 15.

Please be the adult here, you are just making trouble for yourself in the future if you don't lay down some firm rules.

Original poster

newnametoday1 · 17/06/2014 23:17

minecraft books sound like great idea.

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BOFster · 17/06/2014 23:18

The difference between an iPad/screen and Lego is the blue light which disrupts sleep, as described earlier. It is nothing to do with MNers being Luddites, and everything to do with understanding the effects of certain activities on natural biorhythms.

PhoebeMcPeePee · 17/06/2014 23:18

Get him a Minecraft book every 7/8 yr old boy in DS's class seems to love them.

Original poster

newnametoday1 · 17/06/2014 23:20

CuttedUpPear - thanks. Yes I appreciate what you are saying, We have realised this hence us wanting to deal now and not let him progress into computer obsessed teenager.

OP posts:

TheOneWithTheHair · 17/06/2014 23:21

Surely Minecraft books will fuel his desire and not allow him to forget about it for a while?

I think audio books are a great idea. As you say, it will start as novelty value but he'll soon get into it if you choose carefully.

Tweasels · 17/06/2014 23:21

Whenever dd has her iPhone removed even she recognises that she is more chilled DS said the same Exit. Interesting isn't it.

newname I let DS have his ipod in bed over the Easter holidays. He was always still awake when I went up and would claim to not be tired. He's asleep within an hour of going to bed without it. You might find it's the ipad causing the super charged behaviour.

BOFster · 17/06/2014 23:23

Interesting point, Tweasels, you could be onto something.

Original poster

newnametoday1 · 17/06/2014 23:24

mmm...that is interesting. We will soon see!!!

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BrianTheMole · 17/06/2014 23:25

My dc started to get a bit like this, so I took it away and let them use it on Friday nights only. Yes they moaned and wailed about it, but I said no ipad on school nights. They dealt with this quite quickly really, when they realized I wasn't backing down. For the first month or so they got really excited on Fridays because it was ipad night. Then I started to forget to charge it up and they dealt with that. Now they don't bother to ask for it very often at all, which is good, as I don't even know where it is anymore. I think they're happier in themselves though, they just draw and read now, and theres more time for sleeping!!

SarcyMare · 17/06/2014 23:30

My rule was that if we had any sulks when he was told to get off no ipad at all for 2 days, it only took me to enforce it twice for him to get the hint.

PinkSquash · 17/06/2014 23:37

DS1 started on the backchat and altogether 'bad'behaviour but after a ban on screen time, he's a changed person. Even I'm happier when I'm not stuck at a screen, even when it's enjoyable.

You just have to be in control and use a system and mean it.

HiAndBye · 17/06/2014 23:37

I used to use a stopwatch and a five minute warning to my kids when they were younger and were playing computer games. Computer games can be terribly addictive Candy Crush anyone and it can be hard as an adult to know when to stop.
Any hint of an argument and they weren't allowed to play the next day.

ample · 17/06/2014 23:38

I have a 10yo DN who is attached to his iPad/xbox/Nintendo constantly (even in the car to and from school) and there are many others your ds is not the only child addicted.
To be frank you don't have control - your 6 yo does. You can gain by giving out iPad time for when it is deserved (and needed). I avoid tv, iPads etc before bed. It's stimulating and would make the winding-down at bedtime much harder in this house hard enough as it is getting dd from downstairs to up without adding technology into the mix
Books are a great idea and audio books are fab for relaxing (my dd (7) likes the Roald Dahl).
Good luck. Perseverance and consistency will be your friend

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