my 6 year old is addicted to Ipad and to Minecraft

[newnametoday1]

This is a cry for help. My bright 6 year old is absolutely addicted to his iPad - first it started with the odd tv program that we downloaded for him, then to him searching for shows he liked on you tube and now it is minecraft - both playing and watching the videos or others playing minecraft that have been loaded up onto you tube.

If we let him he would sit on it all day (of course we don't as he goes to school). It is the first thing he wants when he wakes up in the morning and when he comes home from school. If he does not get it he kicks off often throwing things round the room if we refuse to give him it (cushions etc). This normally results in him being sent to his bedroom.

We know we need to solve this now. He seems to have a proper addiction to the iPad. We have tried to limit hos time on the ipad for say half an hour in the morning and say an hour or two in the evening but he instigates stalling tactics and often will not hand the ipad back. We do not think that going "cold turkey" is the way to go but we are at a lost about the best way to proceed.

I've looked to see if I can find any relevant threads on this but I can't. I was wondering if there are any information resources that could help us with this. Thanks very much

What happened to the days of bath, bed, story, sleep ?

You "don't think he will be into it" ?

I am gobsmacked.

Just say no. It s really not that difficult. My 6 yo would play on it 24hrs a day if I let him but I just say no. He is allowed 1 hr a day at weekends but that's it. Weekdays are for homework, reading, playing in the garden etc.

Don't be silly! He doesn't NEED the iPad in bed, it won't help him get to sleep, only stop him from sleeping. Doesn't he get reading homework? Could you start reading with him before bed so he reads the first half of the story to you and you read the last half to get him off to sleep.

These things sound dangerous. I'm pretty pissed off that my DH sits glued to his I-phone all weekend. I think it's completely anti-social and disrupts normally family life but he is an adult so I can't do a lot about it

I do feel for you OP. If my child was doing this I'd be devastated. They do watch TV but rarely use a computer. If they do they don't want to come off it- they are devastatingly addictive for children. My DH has started to show them things on his I-Pad and I don't like this as I do fear they'll get hooked. I always insist they come off after about ten minutes.

Does your DS like lego. Can you not sit and do something like that with him and maybe get him interested in something else- it's all blocks isn't it?

I must investigate minecraft for myself though (complete hippocrite that I am).

No wonder kids are leaving primary school unable to read and write.

FFS. Parents reading with them is part of their education. Ya know, reinforcing what goes on at school. What the fuck is wrong with some parents ?

Yes, no iPad in bed.
In fact, no iPad in bed room - mine used to have it on charge in his room until we realised he was playing it. AND keeping his younger brother awake in the process….

Books are great.
Let him pick what he would like to read.
Get a MineCraft book
Take turn in reading a page/paragraph each.
Read in funny voices.
Change some words to nonsense and see if he spots it.
Read 'chapter books' - try Roald Dahl or something else disrespectful of authority or disgusting (Horrid Henry? Mr Gum? Diary of a Wimpy Kid? - I have been in tears of laughter with some of those)

I agree with PP you need to step up and help him to curb his use

No iPad in bed absolutely not, it will be wrecking his sleep, have you ever tried to sleep after candy crushing in bed? I have, it was terrible.
No iPad before school in our house and also screen free Mondays, I deal with the rest of the week by keeping him as busy as possible. There are times when he plays more than I'd like but if I'm honest, they're when I'm being too lazy to engage with him fully.

honestly newname - I had an iPad which I often used to take up to bed with me (on my own when DH works away) and it definitely affected my sleep patterns adversely. Now, I never take it upstairs and neither do the children. Every now and then (maybe once every 6-8 weeks) when the DC have a sleepover together they are allowed the iPad upstairs to watch a movie in bed but I select the film and they wouldn't dream of turning it off and playing a game.

He shouldn't have it it bed.

At all

Ever.

It should be pass code protected and time should be limited (certain jobs done, reading book read, outside playtime etc done)

You are the parent here and you are doing him no favours at all by being such a pushover.

"I just don't think he will be into book reading or me story telling but will definitely try."

Have you never read bedtime stories together? Honestly it's a lovely experience cuddling and reading in bed together. One of the best things about parenting. And it won't be long before its too late to do this kind of thing.

Believe me I find parenting really hard but i do enjoy the story telling at the end of the night.

I think if my child was that affected by its use/nonuse, the ipad would be going out the house for a significant period of time.

If this is too hard , everytime he whinged about it, then he wouldn;t have access to it for a set period of time - 15 mins, an hour, whatever works for you. And the timer would be on for sure. Any moaning within that time would result in an extra chunk of time added.

And NO FECKING SCREENS IN BED. It's not rocket surgey.

He is 6 not 16. You're talking about this as if he gets to make these decisions. He doesn't. You are in charge of him.

Just set rules, ignore tantrums and don't give in. Reward good behaviour with an hour extra at weekends or something.

Definitely no ipad in bed, that's bonkers.

TVs, phones and iPads are all terrible when it comes to sleep.
The light from them interrupts our natural sleep hormones meaning we are wide awake for hours unable to switch off.

A book would be far better it would relax him before bed and would be quality time together instead of sat infront of a screen like a lot of children I know nowadays!

AnyFucker - firm but fair advice. This is ridiculous OP. You need to start saying no and meaning it. And don't set other activities up to fail before you have even tried them by saying you 'don't think he will be into it'.

I just cannot ken it

I am not a perfect parent by a long way (baking/crafty stuff....fuck off !)

But basics like reading a story before bed to wind down and ermm that little thing called being in charge are essentials.

I was going to say, something to do with the blue light can make sleep v difficult. An underslept boy can be an irascible boy - it's unlikely to make a solution easier to come by I guess.

Earning mins and firm (ie more subborn than him!) boundaries sound like wise suggestions upthread. As he's getting a bit older, could you and DH jointly decide the main parameters and allow a discussion/negotiation on some of the details with DS and then write down the rules for use as well as sanctions for breach and have them up somewhere, eg on fridge?

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The holy shit bench. Bunch up.

good heavens, you sound very unaware about the impact of screen use on children, it's common knowledge that screen before bedtime are detrimental to their sleep.

When was the last time you read him a bedtime story? I'm with AF on this.

Sorry, but you have totally brought this upon yourselves and I'm struggling to understand how you can be so clueless about it.

Ah sorry we have minecraft on the xbox. My kids are a bit older at 7 and 9 but I have found the ipad is the most addictive.

Hmm, that looked better before

As usual I agree with AnyFucker!
Playing and reading together is educational, it doesn't feel like it at the time but it really does make a difference!

Ok, ok, AF and supporters, I suspect the OP got the drift of what you are saying - cut the struggling woman some slack!