my 6 year old is addicted to Ipad and to Minecraft

[newnametoday1]

This is a cry for help. My bright 6 year old is absolutely addicted to his iPad - first it started with the odd tv program that we downloaded for him, then to him searching for shows he liked on you tube and now it is minecraft - both playing and watching the videos or others playing minecraft that have been loaded up onto you tube.

If we let him he would sit on it all day (of course we don't as he goes to school). It is the first thing he wants when he wakes up in the morning and when he comes home from school. If he does not get it he kicks off often throwing things round the room if we refuse to give him it (cushions etc). This normally results in him being sent to his bedroom.

We know we need to solve this now. He seems to have a proper addiction to the iPad. We have tried to limit hos time on the ipad for say half an hour in the morning and say an hour or two in the evening but he instigates stalling tactics and often will not hand the ipad back. We do not think that going "cold turkey" is the way to go but we are at a lost about the best way to proceed.

I've looked to see if I can find any relevant threads on this but I can't. I was wondering if there are any information resources that could help us with this. Thanks very much

[dietcokeandcadburys]

change my DD's used to trim DH's eyebrows and moustache whilst he read them a story! They had stories up until they were about 11 and we often watch movies before bed times on weekends as a family. Some of our fondest memories are of the bed time routine.

[Jojay]

We have screen free days here, Mon, Wed, Fri. They know not to even ask on those days so it saves on the endless hassling / negotiations.

[HarbingerOfHappiness]

No iPad in the morning. Ever.
30 min or an hour in the early evening max. Use a timer.

If when you take it off him he complains he looses it the following day. If he then continues to complain then he looses it for a week. It really is that simple. We are a big online gaming family and I was a gamer before being a mother. I know how addictive it is. I used the any hint of a complaint and you don't get it the next day rule for all my kids from a very young age and it worked. (Nintendo 64 era) They knew I meant what I said and they all complied. As they got older I relaxed the rules a bit and I also gave them a bit of wiggle room. They sometimes asked for more time to reach the next save point etc. As I played a lot of the games too they couldn't lie to me.

It was a really useful parenting tool for them to have something that they loved so much. If I threatened to take away their 'computer privilidges' I could pretty much get them to behave themselves.

It's easy to set up something on your home network to limit and monitor exactly what he does online. You can set it up so that he is only allowed yo play between, say, 5 and 6:30 for a maximum of 45 minutes.

However 'stubborn' your son is you need to be more stubborn. He knows his delaying tactics work so you can't blame him for trying.

Good luck.

[SavoyCabbage]

I would take it away completely and give it to hi for a couple of hours on a Sunday afternoon.

He shouldn't be spending any more time on the ipad than he does on other things. Like riding his bike or digging in dirt or Hama beads etc. it can be a part of his life and what he does, but not the only thing he does.

To be honest you sound a bit like you are worried about him kicking off. And you shouldn't be.

[cmt1375]

Consider using something like this www.timesupkidz.com/ or this itunes.apple.com/gb/app/parental-timelock-time-limit/id689577280?mt=8 which automates the shut down and stops it being a battle between you and your son, it also stops it relying on you to police the time.

[PacificDogwood]

Oh, oh, I've got an idea: get him fecking loom bands - your house will be covered in loom bands everywhere, but his screen time will go right down.

[AnyFucker]

I am fondly remembering now that peculiar but deeply pleasant lassitude and relaxation induced in both the story teller and the story receiver at the end of a busy day. The same kind of feeling engendered by having your hair brushed and doing something like jigsaws/drawing/colouring in on a rainy afternoon. You kind of drift off to another plane IYSWIM, your arms tingle and your limbs get heavy

There was a thread on MN about it once...it had a name. Anyone remember it ?

Or perhaps it's just me

[Dencar]

Screen, iPad, phones, televisions etc all emit 'blue light' which disrupts natural sleep rhythms. As a minimum there should be no screen time for at least one hour before bedtime/sleep time.

A lot of people with difficulties sleeping, if they stopped their blue light exposure.....yes...even texting, they would find a gradual improvement in their sleeping.

You are the adult, you make the rules. Children don't have the experience (yet) to make wise decisions.

Good luck.

[newnametoday1]

I feel somewhat harshly treated here. "No wonder kids are leaving primary school unable to read and write. FFS. What the fuck is wrong with some parents?" Do you know me AnyFucker? How vicious is this comment when you have no context for my question?

My son is a fluent writer and reader thanks so please take off your judgey pants. He reads for homework daily and does this when he comes home from school on the days when he does not have other after school activities (3 times a week). The reading homework never takes long. He is a v bright boy and likes competitive things hence I think him loving the minecraft thing more than anything else. We do do the reading at bed thing but he has somewhat outgrown it - he is really quite grown up (not necessarily a good thing) and is several years ahead of reading age and just has never been very interested in books at bedtime.

Looks like cold turkey is the most popular advice at least for the evenings so will start to implement. He is a very stubborn boy but looks like some of you have also overcome stubbornness with your children on this so it must be doable.

[TheOneWithTheHair]

I am so shocked and cross by this thread that I can't even think of what to say.

Basically what AnyFucker said. And no, I don't think the op should be cut any slack. It's outrageous and needs to be said.

[PacificDogwood]

Oh, that time lock thingy is what I was trying to find!

[newnametoday1]

I am here but trying to keep up with insults; I mean advice. I think will need to re read in cold light of day. I know there is lots of useful stuff on here.

[newnametoday1]

Officer thanks for book suggestions will search for reviews and choose appropriately.

[commonorgarden]

We realised we had to cut back minecraft. We used a visual timetable (ds has sn so we use one anyway) so he could see the order of his day in pictures. He is allowed some time after dinner each day and that's it. Weekends and holiday included. So a non school day might have 6/7 other chunks of activity before mc time.

Enforcement wasn't easy at first but it's become the status quo now and not questioned. Good luck. I think most parents have let something happen that's hard to stop at some point-bit like trying to get a genie back into a lamp!

[Tweasels]

He doesn't have to read in bed. My son likes audio CD's, the Roald Dahl ones are great. I also let him put his stickers/football cards into albums and he sometimes draws.

You have to take some responsibility. Children as young as 6 can only do what we allow them to. He may be seem mature or older than his years but he definitely isn't wise enough to know what is good for him or his development.

[newnametoday1]

AnyFucker good thing you are not me then! I am really surprised by your viciousness but takes all sorts.

Thanks to all that made constructive suggestions tonight.

[dietcokeandcadburys]

I don't think he is into book reading what you said there is very different to what you said in your last post, so which is it?

[AnyFucker]

It is completely constructive to tell you that you need to sort your own act out.

[newnametoday1]

Tweasels totally agree but it seemed to go from a bit to OTT in the space of a few weeks hence OP asking for process to put in place to help. Now we need to rein it in for sure. Commonorgarden that is a great idea re. diary will design one tomorrow. Thanks.

[ExitPursuedByABear]

He is 6

Jesus wept.

I echo everything AF said.

[newnametoday1]

"I don't think he is into book reading what you said there is very different to what you said in your last post, so which is it?"
Sorry I don't understand your question?

[commonorgarden]

And you'll know this already but riding out ds' fury at not having the iPad was not easy.

But you're the boss. He'll come round to the new regime eventually.

[BOFster]

Oh come ON, everybody likes being read to, even adults. You just have to get the book choice right. My ex used to ask me to do the bedtime Harry Potter stories for dd1 downstairs so he could listen too .