Do you love your children differently?

[pucca]

My mum always said to me that she loved my brother and i differently, which i didn't really get.She has always been a soft touch where my brother is concerned he can get away with murder tbh, and she has always been quite hard with me.

Do you love your kids differently? if so in what ways?

I have a 2.7YO dd, and a 4 week old ds, and don't really get this tbh.I can see how the age factor can come into it, i.e i love dd for being so independant and for the funny things she does/says, and i love ds for being so little and dependant...but i certainly don't love one more than the other (which i really do believe my mum is guilty of sometimes).

What do you think?

anyone?

I think it's partially a generational thing... boys vs. girls etc.

My mum's a bit like that with my kids, prefers ds (younger one) over dd, and why? Because he accepted her whereas dd has never quite taken to her... wonder why?

I love both my children equally, as much as I sometimes could throw both of them out of the window with equal passion ;). Obviously boys and girls do differnt things sometimes more sometimes less cute but generally equally spread love = hopefully less sibling rivalry

I was concerned when DD was born that I loved her more ... which was a bloody hard thing to admit to because they are both my children .. but it was true and it remained true for a good while

but I think I loved her differently because she was my baby and DS was over 3 by then .. and its hormonal and maternal protection etc

now DS is 5.5 and DD is 2.3 I'd say it was evening up and I love them each for the people they are becoming ..

.. yes I love them differently but I wouldn't be able to choose which one I love more any more

i dont think differently has to mean unequally. i love all my kids the same but i love different things about them. i love that ds1 is so clever and confident, ds2 is so bouncy and full of life, ds3 is just plain odd (he is 2)

however i dont think i would tell them that as i think it is a hard thing to explain without them getting the wrong end of the stick and thinking you mean you love one more than the others. any chance thats what your mum was saying? i know i am harder on ds1 when it comes to school work because he is capable of lots more than the others. whereas i push ds2 more in other areas because i know his skills are better then ds1 in certain things (of course ds1 doesnt see it like that)

I love both dss equally but in slightly different ways. Ds1 was always very attached to me, bf for a year, slept with us from birth (and still does now that he's 4,5), he was quite clingy in social situations, was rarely left with anyone and consequently it sometimes feels as though he and I are one person.

Ds2 is more independent, confident and uninhibited. He is very much his own person. He always slept in his cot, only bf for 2mths, didn't want much cuddling but I look at him and just feel so priveleged to have him.

So although I love them in slightly different ways I suppose this is partly because of differences in their personalities.

My 3yo is cuddly, chubby and soft and is more spontaneous with her affection.

My 5yo is strong, sensitive, independant and kind and makes me very proud.

I do love them differently, because their requirements are different - but equally.

I love both mine equally but sometimes I "like" DD1 more than DD2 (OMG I can't believe i've typed it out loud!!).

DD1 is 10 and has always been a very easy child. DD2 is 6 and much harder work and we clash so I do try very hard with her and sometimes it is very very hard.

I don't think it shows on the outside, at least I hope it doesn't, but now I am pregnant DD2 has become very clingy and actually asked me yesterday if I would love the baby more than her! There followed a conversation about how I would love them all equally and a short sharp reality check for me to try even harder with her.

I don't love them differently but they are like chalk and cheese so I like different things about each one.
My parents who are staying with us and have been for weeks now(aaargh) obviously favour dd as she is an amenable gentle 14yr old and ds4yrs can be a cheeky quirky bundle of energy, which is harder for them to warm to.

Yes, I think "differnt but equal" is how it usually winds up. Since I am pg with baby #2 I also think about this and wonder how it will be.

FWIW, my mother is a very soft touch with one of my brothers - he was the baby of the family for 10 years until I came along. So I totally get what you're saying about that. But, I don't think she loves me any less, it's just that we have the whole mother/daughter angst thing that just isn't there with a mother and son.

different

Yes I think i do - not love per se, but how I feel about them on a day to day basis
But ds is nearly 13 and dd is a cute fluffy nearly 4 yr old. So one gets lots of hands on involvement and encouragement and affection, ds gets his in other ways.
I am aware of dd more as she is at home with me everyday - ds is more independent and out and about.

I love them equally, but for different reasons.

My first born is a boy, i have a thing about boys anyway, i think they are absolutely scrummy!

He is 13 now, to me a boy needs more looking after, iykwim.

My Dd is 2, and she is adorable! Because she is so little and pretty and cute. But i think because shes a girl,she will automaticly be independent etc.

I always think its a sex thing, the way men are really protective of little girls, and boys end up being mummys boys.

I feel very protective of my boy, i dont want him being taken advantage of by unsuitable women!!

of course differently because they are different.

But how I actually feel about them changes from moment to moment