I can't put him down, is it really such a problem?

[nugget05]

That's the problem really, had ds 3 weeks ago and I can't put him down, to the point where people are commenting. I have nightmares that someone's gonna take him away (have done since pregnancy, just assumed it was hormones and would go once he was born) and I feel so anxious when someone else holds him even his father when I'm home alone I still can't manage to put him down for more than 10 minutes. Is there something wrong with me or do all mums feel like this with their 1st?

You have a brand new teeny tiny baby, hormones flying, you're probably exhausted and the arrival of a new baby is a steep and anxiety provoking learning curve!

Totally normal, totally ok to feel however you feel. I had similar extreme anxiety with my little girl, it's not a very nice feeling though. Gradually as you feel happy to let your husband interact with baby too, even if it's just while you pop to the loo! He will love this little person just as much as you in time and your LO will benefit from having doting family members...this doesn't take away from you being mum.

Don't be hard on yourself it's very early days.

Could you speak to you HV? It could be a sign of PND. It's neither normal nor abnormal to want to hold them 24 hours a day, but it's certainly not sustainable.

Congratulations

I wanted to cuddle mine all the time at that age too. They're so little and helpless and new to the world. I think it's totally normal. But the anxiety around other people holding him is probably something to keep an eye on. You may have to let go a bit so other people can get a cuddle, particularly his Dad.
Mine is 17 weeks now and while I still love holding her it is also such a physical relief to put her down sometimes. That transition just happens naturally I think.

I do get flashes of that in shops. Especially when she was tiny and in the carry it I was convinced someone would scoop her out of it!

Hopefully you will feel less anxious as time goes on, and you see that it is okay for others to hold her. 3 weeks is early days. Def keep an eye on it though.

I suffer with anxiety and depression already and the anxiety is just getting worse. Me and his dad are not together and I think knowing that he's gonna take him away 1 day, even if it is only for the weekend, is making it that much harder I might have to talk to the hv because I want to be able to let his dad hold him and bond.

I don't think it sounds too bad, he is so new and you will get more used to being a mum in time. I had pnd after my ds was born and never picked him up. I only held him if he was upset, otherwise I left him. I am constantly reminded of this sad time by his flat head now!! but I got through it and I now love spending time with him.
I'm sorry you're worried about having to be separated from him, but he will always come back to you and will always need his mum!