2 year old eating

[MummyV18]

My son has just turned two and I'm a bit unsure what to do when he refuses food.

Sometimes I know he likes something but he eats 2 bites then won't eat any more. I don't know whether to give him something else or just to leave it (I don't want to create bad habits that he will just expect an alternative) however when I don't feed him something he needs extra milk at night or he doesn't settle.

I'm not sure what to do for the best. Has anyone else gone through this?

DS is 2, if he refuses a meal then I just offer fruit, cereal (usually weetabix) or toast as an alternative and then that's it the next meal. He doesn't have any milk at night

My DS is not quite 2, and if he refuses a meal I assume he's not hungry. I offer pudding if there was going to be one anyway, but don't offer any alternatives. He doesn't have milk before bed, and he doesn't have milk in the night. Generally if he didn't eat much dinner, he will eat a good breakfast the next day.

My dd is 3 now but goes through fussy phases, sometimes she won't eat for a few days (some days she eats more than me!)

I used to get really stressed about it but I had to accept that she is the best judge of whether she's hungry or not. So if she doesn't want to eat her main course she gets offered yogurt or fruit and that's it. She's healthy and generally happy, she's also very tall for her age so I'm more relaxed now.

It's interesting because if she's given a pudding like chocolate cake and she's not hungry she'll take a bite and then say 'I've finished'. I wish I had that ability to stop eating pudding .

See this is where I'm struggling. I give him weetabix if he refuses food and he eats the lot so I think he's just being fussy and I don't want him to expect something else.

But i don't want him to go hungry either.

I offer yogurt or fruit. So far I think he refuses things if he's genuinely not hungry, so that's fine. He's 23 mo so I don't think has quite got to a fussy phase yet. Will have to test my resolve to stick to the "no alternative" method when he's able to be a lot more vocal about not wanting/liking something. At the moment he doesn't ask for anything else, but am sure it's only a matter of time before he'll demand what he wants instead of what I've offered, at which point I imagine it'll be harder to stick to my guns.

DS is 19 months and we're just getting into this. The last few days, he's shoved food away and got really angry with usual favourites. I've just made curried lamb, broccoli and mashed cauliflower, which he normally LOVES, but he had three mouthfuls then tried to shove the plate away and tip it up.

I'm trying to be relaxed about it but we struggled when he was born with his weight gain and even though he is hardy and strong and super healthy now, and I guess I still have a hangover from that. To add, he weaned himself two weeks ago off breastmilk and several allergies mean we don't give a milk alternative.

It's so hard not to start instantly worrying about it. It's hard to believe/trust he's not hungry - he's hardly eaten today and this has been going on for a few days. So is the general consensus not to keep offering alternatives but that this is dinner, accept it or not? Like everyone else, I really don't want to turn this into a "thing" or battle so I'm just sitting on my hands right now!

Sorry forgot to add - what's most of note is that being offered food seems to make him really angry! I'm not sure he hasn't got an upset tummy has he had four - FOUR - huge poos yesterday evening in the space of two hours but he seems totally fine in every other way. Just food seems to make him really mad right now! Is it a control thing?

(OP this is all posted in sympathy, not trying to hi-jack your thread )

How early is his dinner? Could you stick to your guns with regards to not offering alternatives, but then offer supper of toast or cereal before bed, to stave off nighttime hunger?

Ds is 2.9 and at that age we'd offer an alternative of toast but now he can have fruit or yoghurt but no alternative meal. He still has a bit of milk before bed.

We also try the strategy of ignoring him and leaving him at the table while we eat, and sometimes he'll start eating again. Food is such a trigger for parental anxiety though isn't it?!

zebra could he be teething? This actually inhibits the appetite as chewing can be painful. Mind you, I find mine never loses his appetite for sugary rubbish!

Misty9 I wondered that and he's full of wind along with the poos so maybe it's just a poorly tummy. But he managed a banana and some blueberries, and the cauliflower mash was practically a puree so I don't think there's chewing issues. Amazing how they don't lose that appetite for sugar, eh?

It's really tricky mummyv18 my friend used to give her 2 year old bread and butter if she didn't eat anything but one day her dd announced 'I'm not eating that xxxx because I want my bread and butter'. Her dd was closer to 3 so maybe better at understanding consequences but my friend stopped giving her bread and butter and had weeks of tantrums. I assume the child is eating better because she didn't mention it again.

Do you have a problem with all 3 meals? If you have a problem at lunchtime I would be tempted to not give him a weetabix and teach him that if he turns down his lunch there is nothing else. Then hopefully he would either be genuinely not hungry or hungry enough to eat a more varied tea. If you were still worried you could give him a weetabix for dinner and you would know he wasn't going to bed hungry.

Incidentally someone told dh that it's best to give more experimental meals at lunchtime as they're likely to be more awake and less grumpy. I am more likely to give dds new things at lunchtime. I sometimes have a slightly different meal - perhaps an additional veg or different meat - and dd1 doesn't like to feel left out so she'll ask to try it. I've introduced quite a lot of food to dd1 in this way. Dd2 is curious about what I eat but not curious enough to try it!

If that don't eat enough (over two thirds of the meal and something from every element, including vegetables) then they don't get anything else. Mealtime stops. No substitutes or puddings. They have to wait until the next meal or snack (or ask for something I'm between). If they ask, they get fruit or raw veg (or the uneaten leftovers of appropriate).

Giving in will create massive problems. I would seriously recommend against even offering bread and butter. Won't matter to much in the early days but they will soon twig that they can refuse food they would rather not eat and get bread and butter instead, filling them up. Kids aren't stupid.

Depends what I'm giving her. She's two next month. If it's something I know she likes then I assume she's not very hungry and give her fruit. If she doesn't eat the fruit then I know she's definitely not hungry! If it's a new food that she tries and pushes away then I think that's a bit different. I don't want to force her to eat something she doesn't like (but will try her again with it a few weeks later).

If she's been really light on food all day I give her some cereal before bed. She also has about 20oz milk a day still so she's not going to starve, and she ALWAYS drinks her milk!

My dd is 29 months and I have learned to let her get good and hungry before dinnertime. I find this takes care of fussiness rather nicely. If this means her not eating for four hours before dinner then so be it. She snacks all morning at the CM and I feel it's sometimes part of the cause. The snacks are all healthy but on the sweet side of healthy, like raisins and bread and yoghurt. Tbh I think that sometimes little ones snack too much.

However this is just my child I'm talking about and what works for her. She's also a bit older than just 2 so more established with food. Maybe worth a try anyway? Keep up the milk and water but just let little one get good and hungry before savory dinner in the evening?

Even with new foods I take quite a hard line.

If it is on its own then it needs to be tried. No substitute is given unless he clearly can't stand it (such as when he threw up the white chocolate I gave him!).

If it is part of a meal then he needs to try three mouthfuls (one for each year of his age) and everything else must be eaten (within reason) to get pudding.