what do other people expect of their children within the home in terms of help??

[suntansally]

we have 4dc's 3,6,8,10 things are getting easier,firstly we are sleeping through the night,out of nappies at last and on the home run for school,(not that I am rushing it of course!but my youngest gets so bored without the others around he likes lots of company).I am wondering how much people get the dc's doing???I admit I have mostly done EVERYTHING occasionally have a rant and they all do bits without protest for the day,any good advice at what level to expect support and what is acceptable.how to maintain this.
I get the feeling that if I do everything long term then a) they won't see that as a good role model
b) I won't ever get the chance to do anything other than chores
c) they will struggle when they leave home or need to stay away.I am thinking of making them make, their beds,organise their school bags (Water bottles and give me letters)
dishwasher sometimes,wash car with our help,tidy rooms........is this fair/age appropriate/any other ideas please they are getting lazy and I am getting resentful (oh i may let the 3 year old off for a bit longer)

My 12 yr old empties the dishwasher every day and does one load of laundry. He prepares vegetables for dinner and cooks if it is simple enough for him. Changes his own bed once a week etc

8 yr old sets and clears the table, pairs socks and folds laundry. She likes mopping and sweeping.

I think it makes them feel useful and teaches important life skills as well as making the house a nicer place to live. I think that routine is important. They do the same jobs every day pretty much. I don't have to nag any more.

I'm having this at the moment, I have 3 aged from 7-14. I very always left them to tidy their own rooms (with varying degrees of success!) although I may help by sorting and hanging their clothes while they tidy to keep them focused.

I get them to clear and lay the table, empty the dishwasher, change their own bed when it needs doing, oldest washes cars (for extra money) and middle one will put on laundry and take it down from the line. Youngest makes me cups of tea with the Tassimo and helps with making her own lunch (she offers to make the others' too but they won't eat anything she's touched!)

All of these jobs they do when asked but eldest will always moan and argue about it and I want to sort a list of jobs that they do without being asked, no prompting and no arguing so will be interested to see what others do.

I've always...

I've always what?????done everything???

oh sorry i see you are the same person sorry......

DS is 4.5

He puts his washing into the wash basket
Puts his dishes by the sink
Helps tidy his room
Tidys his toys away - with help if needed.

He also 'helps' with cooking and cleaning but at the moment that is not always helpful!

Autocorrect! Should have put a *

That's the biggest problem Sirzy, I want mine to help but if they stack the dishwasher/wash up, half of it won't get cleaned properly. If they hang up washing it will be wrinkled. If they cook, the clearing up takes twice as long! I'm torn between wanting them to help and thinking I'll do it as it's quicker and probably easier!

Mine are in juniors.

They tidy their rooms/playroom
Pack own school bags
Set/clear table
Put washing in basket
Make own beds

Sometimes help with dusting and putting washing away.

9year old dd1 is responsible for setting/clearing and wiping the table. She's also responsible for hoovering the ground floor and keeping her own room clean and tidy - I don't go looking for laundry etc, it must be in the basket on the landing.

She doesn't get any pocket money for this, it's her contribution to the house.

Dd2 is 2 and so is mostly responsible for making a mess.

I went back to work when my DC were little and DH did the bulk of the after school childcare. I'd always got them to lay the table/ put things away etc but he always said it was quicker to do it himself.

They are now 28 - 22. 3 of them live together and one lives with us. The two middle DSs do absolutely nothing and don't feel they should have to , despite having lived alone. Eldest and youngest are now really into cleaning in a big way.

I really don't think it does them any favours to believe that things miraculously clean and tidy themselves without any input from humans. DD2 (7) lays the table, sorts dirty and clean laundry (with me), puts things away and fetches and carries for me. I'm trying to get her into the habit of helping out while she is still little enough not to argue about it

Always got them to help according to age

Ds1- 4 , puts his laundry in basket, unloads plastic/ cutlery from dishwasher, helps lay table for meal, shoes/ coat away. Makes bed, tidies toys

Ds2- 3, puts his laundry away, helps lay table, puts shoes/ coat away, tidies toys

We currently also have nephews age 2 years, 2 months, 2 months in our care. So mine have been great at fetching baby things, generally keeping own toys/ stuff/ clothes in right places at the end of the day

Both mine also help with dinner prep most days ie chop mushrooms, watch, help get ingredients from fridge etc. ds1-(4) actually makes great blueberry muffins now, I leave him to it and just put in and out oven

DD is nearly 2 and loves 'helping'. She tidies away her toys (sometimes without being asked) and will put her clothes in the washing basket at bath-time. She often wants to empty the washing machine so I let her do this too. We all had tasks growing up and I strongly believe it's healthy; even then, leaving home is a shock, but at least I knew how to wash clothes, iron, cook and clean.

Under the age of 10 my jobs were hoovering the stairs, setting the table, drying up dishes after every meal with my siblings, sorting out the airing cupboard and putting everyone's clothes in piles. I was from a large family so these tasks could take a while! I then took responsibility for cleaning my own bedroom as soon as I had one when an older sibling left home. As a teenager I loved baking so did this a lot and I offered to do the ironing....which took 3 hours every weekend so I regretted it slightly! I also had a paper round.

As an adult I have a very strong work ethic as do my siblings, and I think it's down to my upbringing. I tend to view parenting as preparing my children for life, real life, and I'll be doing them a disservice if if they reach 18 without knowing how to iron something or cook a meal.

Eleven year old does dishwasher and some very minor food prep (heating beans, making hot drinks)
Eight year old fetches dirty washing and puts it in the washing machine.

They are both expected to put away their own clothes and tidy their own messes from breakfast, spills etc.

I have 9, 7, 4, and 2 year old. The older 3 help clear up the floors downstairs and keeping their bedroom floors clear, helping tidying downstairs and keeping their rooms clean, they make their own breakfasts most of the time and the older two like to make their own lunches. The 2 year old is started to help but obviously isn't responsible for anything yet (except possibly a good part of the mess in the first place!).

Keeping the floor and stuff and cleaning up after themselves is the main thing I push on right now because I want them to help and I've accepted my limitations for things on the floor but they're also sometimes helpers for others tasks (DH does the dishes, but the kids will help him find all the cups that have gone missing, I do laundry, kids will help find any important clothes in the house or laundry boxes, DH hangs up laundry and the kids will bring him stuff from the machine). Some days it feels like they do too little, sometimes I worry it's too much. I have found 20 minutes tidy/10 minute breaks help them get it done faster just as much as it helps me.

Yup, I also insist they put their washing in the basket, I'm not going looking for it (training DP in that department is not quite so easy though )

Putting coats and bags away after school is easier since becoming a CM as the mindees have their own pegs and mine follow them and put their coats on there too!

I also expect them to make their own breakfast and get their own drinks, I rearranged our whole kitchen & knocked down walls to be able to have a fridge with a water dispenser [lazy]

My dc are 6, 4 and 2. The older two tidy their toys
into the right places - each type of toy has been assigned storage.
They put their plates etc into the sink after a meal.
They put their clean clothes away in their drawers.
They put their dirty clothes in the basket.
They put the books on the shelves / in the book baskets.
If the living room is looking a mess I tell them to tidy it and generally they do a good job.
It definitely eases the load on me. I'm a SAHM

Mine are 14, 11, 9, 6 and 3 And the motto in this house is we all make the mess so we all clean up!

No set chores but I expect the madthings to pitch in as And when necessary.

So setting and clearing table, laundry in basket, putting clean clothes away, hoovering,general tidying. The older two can and do cook and help prepare meal.

Ds3 can help with cooking.

The elder three can all wash up or load the machine or tumble dryer.

They tidy their rooms and toys (assistance if necessary).

All four elder ones can and do get their own bfast and lunch.

Basically I am raising them to be able to do eveverything, I have four boys and I am not having them grow up to see women as skivvies!

They don't do everything everyday but they do all help out!

6yo DS and 3yo DD.

Both:

• clear table and put their dishes by the sink
• put dirty clothes in laundry basket
• tidy away toys and books, and keep rooms tidy
• help with weeding etc in the garden
• put coats, bags and shoes away when we come in
• get clothes for the day and dress themselves (3yo still needs some help)

Additionally 6yo puts his clean clothes away. Training DD in this by helping her as she can't manage it neatly herself yet.

They also fetch their own snacks and drinks (with my permission, not when they want) and DS makes his own toast every day. And they regularly help with simple meal prep or getting the table laid (this is the new task I'm about to add in to their list as a more regular thing)

Oh yes coats and bgas away after school and lunch boxes emptied and rinsed out. Shoes away etc.

DCs aged 9,8,6,2.

The older three tidy their bedrooms,put away their clean laundry and set/clear the table (including load the dishwasher) on a regular basis.

They don't have any other regular jobs, it depends who is free at the time, but they will also;

Collect, sort and put on a wash.
Wash up.
Sweep/hoover
Unload the dishwasher
Help with basic cooking (chop,mix stir)
Make their own/each others packed lunches
Help with the youngest (help him put his shoes on, read to him etc)

They're also responsible for their own school/swimming bags. They need to make sure they have what they need and hang up their wet things after swimming.

My 11 yr old makes his own breakfast and lunch, including packed lunch for school. He tidies his room (to his standard not mine) tidies the living room (more to my standard) hoovers and can load the dishwasher. On Saturdays he gets up with my almost 4 yr old and 2 yr old, takes them downstairs for their breakfast and keeps them company letting us hang out in bed for a bit (I can never sleep, but it's nice to just have that time to gently wake up) he loves his "brother morning" with the little ones.

Growing up my siblings and I did all of the household chores- although it prepared me for life I felt it was a bit too much on my plate on top of school work and sports. I think I'll show my kids how to do everything, but won't expect them to do it all just because they can.