Tell me about parenting a girl / boy sibling pair

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

Dd will be three when ds arrives and ive only got a sister and no experience of brothers even my cousins lived hundreds of miles away.

If you have a girl then a boy, how has it been for them (and you) growing up together? They will need to share a room til probably age 8 & 5, and ive never shared so am wondering what that will bring.

What are the common fights, issues etc that arise? With girl/girl I was envisaging fighting about using each others clothes and make up but that is less likely now.

Anyone?

I have a boy aged 6 then a girl aged 2.5. So opposite way round to you. So far so good no fighting or arguing my household is harmony at the moment. I share my room with my daughter which works for me. My ds is a tidy freak and dd not so much so I think they would clash sharing a room.

Hope someone comes along soon with some useful advice for you :-)

Mine are a couple of years apart and fight lots....but are incredibly close, share a bunk bed and play all the time. They eat meals together and enjoy watching films together on the sofa. They are both under 6. The bickering is always petty never major and they forgive very easily. You will love it and it is soooo worth it

Just as missthang describes. Mine (7 and 4) love each other, play together, fight all the time. They are just children - no gender nonsense. It doesn't make any difference what you've got - they play and fight and grow up together. I love it when they make each other laugh.

Mine are 8 & 7 and very close. Arguments are infrequent and quickly forgotten, they play together all the time and have their own made up words. DD is the boss and DS is very much a little brother. They used to share a room but kept each other awake all night talking and playing so I separated them. They're better now and will camp out in one another's rooms at the weekend.

They're quite similar to my little sister and me when we were kids, I'm not sure that being girl/boy siblings makes any difference at all to them yet.

Mine are 4 and 2 and just adore each other. It's the loveliest thing ever to see their relationship take off, independently of us, and their genders are sort of the least important part of it.

Thanks everyone! I dont prescribe to the "girls will be X and boys will be Y" thing but I just wondered if there were any typical things they may quarrel over or bond over

Glad to hear of some adorable bro/sis sets!

I suspect it's more the usual "older sibling/younger sibling" thing regardless of gender or whether the girl or boy is older/younger. Older sibling can be bossy and know it all, younger sibling is fighting for attention. Same argument, twenty times a day . But they love each other and as corporaterockwhore (love to know more about that username btw!) said, watching them develop a relationship between themselves that's independent of me, with their own funny jokes and weird little games just between them, is wonderful.

They say (whoever "they" are) that three is a good age as it's old enough to bypass the worst of the jealously when a new baby arrives but young enough that they will still play together. That has been my experience too.

Mine are 5 (boy) and 2 (girl). They share a room and love it, will not sleep with out each other. They play together so nicely and are interested in each other's stuff/ideas. It's really fun and great.

My older two are girl/boy. They got on really well throughout their lives and now are young adults still get on well. They are really close.

My younger two are both girls and fight like cats. I think girl/boy is easier. Though it could just be my lot.

Mine are girl (just 5) and boy (2.8).

I think its a lovely combination. Of course there are squabbles, especially as the younger child grows and can assert himself more.

I do think having children of different genders CAN make it easier. There is no other girl to compete with your DD and no other boy to compete with your DS. I think children act out to make themselves noticed as individuals by parents, and if they are different genders they have an in built differentiating feature.

Of course my son likes to play with dollies and prams and my daughter likes her Lego robbers. But I notice they also choose to play up to the gender stereotype - she will always want the pink cup and he always the blue. DS always drives the "train" and DD is always the passenger! DD is always the princess and DS is always the knight.

Of course stereotyping isn't great if it imposed upon children by parents/society, but where they use it themselves as a psychological and developmental tool I am not worried about it. Its is natural for children to try and build and identity for themselves and distinguish themselves from siblings. In the toddler/preschool years gender difference is fascinating to them and its no wonder that they latch on to this as a way of doing it.

I have a DD (almost 5yr) and a DS (2.5yr) and they are just lovely together.

DD is very proud of her little brother and will randomly go and shower him with kisses and hugs, and has been as overjoyed as us at his achievements (i.e. learning to walk, new words etc)

DS asks where DD is from the minute he gets up to the minute he goes to bed, follows her around and copies everything she says and does. He hero worships her basically.

I was a bit when I found out I was having a DS if I am honest (I have sisters and loved the idea of DD having that sister bond thing) but I have to say I am totally delighted now that I also had a son, he is soooo affectionate and fun, and my children seem to grow closer as they get older.

I know they will change, and at some points they may not get on so well especially when they start wanting to do different games (DS is currently more than happy to put on a princess dress and dance around the room with DD!), but I think they are forming a lovely bond that hopefully will underpin their future.

honestly I don't think gender makes a difference. I had 2 boys then a girl, the battles are exactly the same between each of them and the relationships dominated by birth order and personality - gender doesn't come into it yet at all (eldest is 9.5 so we'll see if teenage yrs bring anything different!)

Ds was 3.6 when Dd born. He was very good at playing with her by tickling her feet (hard to hurt a baby doing that!) and has been very good generally, though did put lots of effort into telling him to learn to keep Lego and small toys out of her way before she got old enough to try to get them.
A lot of " you can do X but she can't, she's too small" helped when X is things like "eat ice cream" or "go on the swing". He has done huge amounts of playing with baby toys though so sometimes that's contentious now - she's 2 and he's nearly 6.