Worried about my husband

[blondebaby111]

We have a lovely 5month old daughter and life is fairly good. However at times my husband just doesn't seem like the same person. We are arguing over silly things alot!! We do get along but occasionally he will just flair up over nothing and me being me rather than just wLj away I confront it which causes more rows. At times he seems so angry.

And then sometimes he just goes very quiet, will only speak to me if I speak to him which is so not like him. However this hasn't all the time, most times he's back to normal otherwise I would insist he had a major problem . Even my mum said the other day that he doesn't seem right!!

But I am slightly concerned, do men go through some sort of change after a baby arrives, I just don't know but at times I feel like I'm married to an alien

I think the change a baby can make to a relationship can be vast. I empathise with you as tackling similar issue with my husband. Flat mood (but only apparent at home), non communicative at times, losing his temper easily, irritable, sulky....I vaguely recall he was like this a few years ago when our first child was under a year old. Back then when I tackled it he said he was bored (of parenting issues, mundanity & routine). It passed & things returned to normal I think after first year & certainly after 2 years. (I must have the patience of a saint..). It's flared up again now with new baby. Typing this I realise this soon will pass. Upon talking this time about it he said he was irritated by mundanity of parenting. Bloody men. I do feel cross, he gets to escape to work & does 1 hour of parenting the eldest before bedtime each day. Whoppee doo, probably wants a medal for it too. I apologia for going off on one here, but I think some (certainly not all) men must have unrealistic expectations of parenthood or are just not prepared mentally. All I can say is it should pass. Try getting him involved in some more fun family activities like swimming or bath time?? Worked for us first time around. Have you tried talking to him? Maybe get a baby sitter & go out? X

I'm not sure tbh.
A relationship goes under a huge change and it can lead to massive tension. If everything changes overnight and you are both tired then distance can be created quite easily.

You seem to feel as if you are the same but he is very different rather than your both feeling the strain. Is that right?
What does he say when you ask him?

We are getting enough sleep as she sleeps thru the night but it is still tiring. I have her for most of the day and then he takes over a bit while I get dinner on the go. He has said at times that if we had borrowed a child before we had her he wouldn't have wanted kids as it's harder than he thought. But other times I see the lovely side where she only giggles for her daddy and they gave lots of fun.

I have tried talking, I tell him that he had all the nice bits, I do the majority of household chores plus dealing with baby and doing a bit of work here and there from home. I think what gets my goat is he gets to escape for a while when he's at work then when fe is here all he does is moan.

Even the food shop he does himself alone! I keep saying I miss food shopping (as sad as it is) but we used to do it together. Now he says it's so much hassle it's easier if he just does it. But I honestly feel it's us and him, it's like we're not a family unit. And I feel we are not going out as a famy together, all he says is we can't go here we can't go there we gave a child!!! There's something do different, we've even together for a long time and tried for years for a child and I cherish every second with her xx