Parent discussions around kids

[littleraysofsunshine]

How do you talk/keep cool when you're having a disagreement with your spouse? I hate the way they look at me like I'm the wrong one (I tend to talk loud, and dp is the quiet spoken one even if the things were talking about are causing a stir)

3.7yo, 2yo and 19wk..
Elder two are more impressionable and eldest even tells her grandparents if we've had a heated discussion. But then Also makes a load of stuff up too like mummy was crying even when I wasn't?

I feel like complete shit.

I'm sorry you're feeling bad, but you have to find a way to stop this now. It's not fair to your children for them to grow up listening to their parents argue.

If you want your children to show respect to others and behave calmly and tolerantly, you have to show them how.

I grew up with fighting parents, who would also have called the early fights "heated discussions", until they finally divorced when I was 7, thank god. If the kids notice your discussion, it's not just a discussion it's a fight.

DH and I disagree. All couples do. If it's something that we can't talk through easily, we just say, let's talk about it later, and finish the discussion when the kids are asleep.

By disagreement, do you actually mean a disagreement or an argument? The reason I ask is because they are two very different things.

I have read somewhere that children should see their parents disagree as long as they see a resolution as this is part of life. A heated argument however can be very damaging over the long term.

Dh and I bicker sometimes, usually on car journeys when there's no getting away from each other. Ds says "Stop arguing!" and we laugh and tell him he's right and say sorry. I agree that it's good for them yo see disagreements and I agree also that they should see resolution. I also think that when it goes beyond disagreement that you should just walk away, spend some time apart and deal with it calmly out of earshot of the dc. My parents argued a lot. I don't want that for ds.