My mum is over the top with my daughter!!

[George345]

Hi,

My mum is sooo over the top with my 10 month old daughter!! Just was she is with her! When she's around my daughter very rarely comes to me and sometimes even crys when I take her!! I love my baby so much and want her to be always happy with me :( when it's just me and her i always get cuddles etc... But why does she act like this around my mum? And what can I do to stop it !? Many thanks for any replies xxx

Don't stop it! At that age a baby can never have too much love. It is not a serious rejection of you, just your baby expressing her wishes at that moment.

Just be grateful she lots of people she loves and who love her. My dd absolutely adored my mother-it was lovely. Take the chance to have a bath or do something else just for you?

What ^^said.

Be relieved you can hand get over. If you look at other threads you will see many people who would kill fir babies who can be looked after by someone else.

It's a great thing, trust me

It's the novelty. And even babies learn that grandparents let them get away with more Most of the time I can whistle for any attention when Grandad is around.

It does feel a bit weird at first but it really is a good thing that she is building a relationship with her nan and that they are comfortable and happy together.

Why would you want you daughter to stop loving her grandma? Your daughter is simply showing affection to someone, it's simple a part of development, let them enjoy their closeness.

My children did this with their grandparents. I assumed it was because the poor mites was sick of seeing my face every day all day so when a loving giving full attention face came along they were all over it like a rash

Don't look at it as a reflection on you and don't see it as your baby doing this on purpose at 10 months old I very much doubt she can do anything on purpose.

You would be a fool to stop such a loving bond developing OP so please don't try.

My ds did this with his father from 9 months I hardly existed when dad was around. It's still a bit like that, and he's 13!

Ohhh my dd is exactly the same!! She's 5 month and my mum absolutely adores her ( we all do) but my daughter only has eyes for her nanny when she's about, I really don't get a look in. I think it's because when my mum sees her she gets all my mums attention for as long as needed whereas it's not possible when we are at home, I have to cook and clean as well as look after her.

I try not to get too worried about it, I just know that when I return to work part time she's certainly going to be fussed after and well looked after, I think they definitely have avert strong nanny/ granddaughter bond which is nice, we'd soon moan if it wasn't like that xx

I never said I was going to stop it!! I just wondered If it was normal for babies to ignore there mother while she's around that's all!! But thank you all for your replies x

Sorry I just read my first post and I did say what can I do I "stop it" I didn't mean stop the relationship between my mum and her and meant the ignoring me part! Xx

I often get home from work on the day DP is home with DS and he COMPLETELY IGNORES me for about 30/60mins. Especially if he's had his uncle over for the day - who he looooooooooooooves. He's like "mummy who??"

And this is a boy who HANGS TO MY LEG as I leave in the morning....

I think it shows they're happy and independent and know you love them and that that love will always be there, so they don't need or want constant 'proof' as they're safe in the knowledge of your love.

Thank you "flip flop" (sorry can't remember rest of you name!) yeah maybe, if that is the add its good! Cuz she knows how muh I love her and I'm always there! Doesn't take the hurt away when she doesn't want me though :( xx

My DS is 19mo and has been doted on by my mum since he was born. She looks after him 2.5 days a week while I'm at work and he cries when DH or I pick him up. If we are all together he isn't interested in anyone but Nana. It is hard sometimes not to feel rejected and I totally understand how you feel. I just keep telling myself it's great they have such a good bond and that he is being looked after by someone he has such affection for.

George - I feel for you, and sense that this is an issue with you rather than your daughter. Can you somehow start working on your own hurt? As a previous poster wrote, we cannot have too much love. What you're experiencing is jealousy, and that's often based on the fear that something or someone will leave or be 'taken away' from us. If you can get to a place where you understand and experience that from yourself, it might be that your own anxiety and fear will subside. It might even change your daughter's reaction to you when your mother is around.

What was your relationship with your mother like as a child?

My dds would knock me to the ground to get to their daddy. Perfectly happy with me all day long, then it's like I don't exist.

I put it down to the novelty factor first and second they are secure in our relationship. It's me they want when they are sick etc.

My DDs are both exactly the same. My Mum looks after them 2 days a weeks while I work and they adore her. When she's there she is definitely more interesting. They are happy to see me when I come back but if they want anything when I'm there they go straight to her! My youngest (18 months) even currently calls her mummy!
They are a bit the same when daddy come home, he's just more interesting. I'm always there and they trust I always will be.
I don't let it bother me. I love that they have close relationships with their family, especially my mum. It is very reassuring to know that when I'm not there they have peolpe that they trust around them.
Try and enjoy the little bit of freedom it gives you. Having a Velcro baby would be more stressful in my opinion.

my nephew goes through phases of 'daddy hate' as my brother calls them. Whenever my brother enters the room, my nephew screams DADDY NO! DADDY OUT!! I feel so sorry for him!!

That's exactly how it is lol! She's so happy all day with me! Even when her daddy comes home she wants cuddles with him but soon returns to me! But when my mum is around I do let really get a look in lol!! I wouldn't say I'm jealous!! I was just concerned, I don't know that maybe I was doing something wrong for her to text like this but by the sounds of it it's perfectly normal as other mums have expressed they have experienced the same thing! Xxx

To the person who asked what my relationship was like with mum mum when I was a child, it was fantastic! Honestly, I had the best childhood I could ask for and I wouldn't tho anywhere without her actually! So maybe that's why I lm a little but the way I am cuz my daughter is so independant! High is obviously a good thing, I'm not knockin that at all! X