Please make sense of this. My DD has just amazed and saddened me immensely

[ElBombero]

DH isn't generally home till 8ish... By which I usually have DC in bed. DD 3yo and DS 8mo

I had got DD in bed n making way downstairs and she got up was hesitating settling despite being tired. DH said he'd deal with it. 10 mins later I hear her stirring again he said he'd go up but I was ready there. I look upstairs see my tele on and my DD in bed watching little fucking mermaid! He's took the easy option and this winds me up, he knows it. I go upstairs and tell her she can watch tele as daddy has let her but she shouldn't of got out of her bed when mummy said it was bed time. What must be going through her head I'm saying one thing he's saying another

So I leave her go downstairs then she shouts me again. Mummy I'm out of your bed I want to go to my bed. Don't be mad mummy.

Excuse me, why are you upset with your DD and not your DH?! I can't see what she has done wrong but the 2 parents are giving her very mixed messages, poor little mite

I don't get it? Why are you saddened at your dd? Your dh is a nob.

Don't understand. Why are you amazed and saddened?

Amazed you and saddened you? A 3 year old bed hopping at night and watching a Disney DVD? What is amazing and saddening about that?

Has the end of the post been cut off?

You meant dh in your op not dd?
I would be cross bed time isn't dvd time.

I'm confused by what you mean too.

Im guessing this is the part that has saddened the OP;

So I leave her go downstairs then she shouts me again. Mummy I'm out of your bed I want to go to my bed. Don't be mad mummy

I never said I was upset with her...

why does she have cause to try and placate you at age 3?

I meant saddened because after me telling her she could watch TV, she has obviously led there and contemplated what had happened and decided to go to bed. It makes me sad that she has been stuck in the middle.

Sorry on phone and flippin hate typing. I'm just sad that she was stuck in the middle of our conflicting instructions and amazed that she wanted to go to her bed because that would make me happen x

Or maybe she just changed her mind about watching ariel and decided to go to bed? She probably didn't think about what had gone on btw you and your DH.

I'd be really annoyed if my DP turned on the TV for the kids after I'd put them to bed though.

I understand OP. You're amazed that a young child has the emotional maturity to understand that there's a problem because Mummy said one thing and daddy another and sad that she felt the need to smooth things over.

My DS2 does this. Whatever the problem is, could be that I'm cross with his big brother, had a bad day at work, or worried about something he doesn't even know, he seems to take it as his responsibility to make it better and cheer me up. That makes me sad but also proud.

Yes frontier, proud and amazed. No way she chose bed over Ariel!!! Thanks. He's a knob, had a row and he's sulking downstairs

Op and frontier I fully understand as I was that child growing up.

My parents had a very troubled relationship throughout my adolescence and teenage years, and although neither were directly abusive towards me I was often neglected or relied upon to carry out the household tasks.

I always did things to make my mum happy and it was always at the forefront of my mind... Do this because mummy will like it, don't do that because she won't etc

I'd be angry too if DH went behind my back and put my dd in front if the telly as an easy way out after bedtime.