Parents of teens/older children/adults, answer me this ...

[MayhemMostDays]

I often think that half of what I do with my younger children is pointless as they won't remember most of it.

I'm talking things like expensive days out, baby groups, toddler clubs, endless messy craft that I hate clearing up, hours in the park etc.

So I try to live in the present and not think too far ahead about if it's worthwhile. They are enjoying it now and that's all that matters.

But, looking at your older children, what would you say where the things that you are glad you did with them when they were young?

I never did things for memories I did them because they were enjoyable. Even if dd doesn't remember them I remember her doing them and they still form part of her. Zoo trips, park trips, finger painting, obstacle courses, treasure hunts, playing with the hosepipe. All things that kept us both entertained.

Music lessons/classes
swimming
I sometimes think that if I were ever to have a third child I wouldn't bother with baby/toddler groups - too much stress getting to places on time and following rotas, going to meetings etc

The things I did I was glad of include setting family traditions. for us that was christmas eve things we did every year - putting food out for santa and reindeer food in the garden. my dd's birthday is in December and on thst date the christmas tree goes up. my ds's birthday is in the end of november and we always sent santa letters on that date. on christmas morning we always go to the sitting room together. my kids will be 12 and 17 this year and none of that will change even though neither believe in santa anymore!

for birthdays there is always a cake with the four of us. always with the birthday person waiting in the sitting room whilst the others sort the cake and sing happy birthday. the kids had birthday parties with their friends most years but that was always seperate from the family bit.

each summer I get the kids to lie down on a piece of wallpaper lining roll. I outline around them and they paint a picture of themselves on it. I have kept them all and it is interesting to see how they have developed both artistically and physically over the years.

What strikes me most looking at the bits I listed is that none are about expensive trips or toys - all are about making them feel important and that our family is important to us.

Mine are 19 and 20, and still talk a lot about holidays, especially European city break type holidays, places we've eaten, and odd exhibitions etc (usually to get out of the rain in said European city).
??

Mine are 18 and 14

The things they remember are holidays, trips to the zoo, trips to museums, trips to see family scattered around the globe

They don't remember the small stuff that I hated anyway....baking, crafts, playgroups, the park yuk

Stick to what you enjoy and it shines through in their memory

U

Oops, sorry

A paddling pool in the garden, water fights, teaching to ride a bike, looking for shells on the beach, skimming stones until your arms ache, family weddings, sitting in the garden at night with the chiminea blazing counting the stars and watching the bats fly

Not always megabucks stuff

I've just had dd3 and feel the same about baby groups. If I go it's because I'm forcing myself and is it really worth the hassle?

We have traditions in place for Christmas, Easter etc. I hope these will also remain important to them as they grow.

I think the best advice is to what I enjoy and that will rub off on them.

I do enjoy baking with them though

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