Anxious /depressed/ needy DS age 8

[reallyneedmoresleep]

I'd really appreciate some advice please. I have 3 sons; the eldest and youngest are happy, robust and sociable children, but we are having lots of issues with DS2.
He is hyper-sensitive, cries very easily, often comes home in tears complaining that he is being bullied and that people are hurting his feelings. He is bright, however hates getting things wrong and any school work that might stretch him a little is met with tears and sulks. He doesn't enjoy the sports that the rest of the family does, and rarely shows enthusiasm for anything beyond reading a book in bed or playing minecraft.
His swimming teacher has suggested that he doesn't rebook lessons for next term, as he's spending more time crying at the side of the pool than actually swimming, and I've recently had a message from the cub scout leader saying that DS2 is refusing to join in with any activities and is upsetting other boys with his negative behaviour.
School are being brilliant and have organised time at lunch for him to spend time in a quiet area when he wants to.
I should also stress that we don't _make him do any extra-curricular activities - he knows that he can quit once he's given something a good try, but he insists he wants to carry on with swimming, cubs, rugby etc.
I'm worried because this is not normal behaviour for an eight year old boy. I also hate seeing him so unhappy in his every day life.
He gets lots of praise from his dad and I, and whilst my husband is not physically very affectionate wit the boys, they all get lots of cuddles from me.
Thanks for reading such a long and confused post. Any ideas?

Hiya, I've come on here looking for a bit of advice about my DS who is also 8 and exhibiting similar behaviour. I advised him not to join cubs after watching him when I helped out with his Beaver group a few times. He didn't join in with the active games and got annoyed at the first chance when he was in danger of getting knocked out of the game. He's informed me today that he is "always on his own at playtime" which is possibly true but I know he has a couple of friends. Problem is, those friends are not the same as him, they're real rough and tumble types and prefer to play the racing around games. I don't consider that my DS isn't exhibiting normal behaviour, I think there are plenty of kids like this but I concede he is different from so many of them. I'm considering approaching the school as I don't want to think that he's unhappy there. Anyway, what I would say is keep doing what you're doing, keep the lines of communication open, let him read or play minecraft if it makes him happy/relaxed or forget his troubles. I was Speaking to a parent of a similar child at school because I was worried, she has fought lots of battles at school over her son feeling like he was being bullied and that was more emotional hurt than physical, she said she'd spoken to the head teacher who told her this is indeed normal behaviour for a child of his age and as with so many things, it's a phase that needs riding out and doing what you're already doing, praise and cuddles even when - especially when - he doesn't seem to want or acknowledge it. They'll come through it and they'll be lovely men but I do think these school years are going to be tough for boys like ours. Sorry I can't be more help after such a long rambly post!

Thank you so much LadyBez, it's good to hear my boy isn't the only one like this! I honestly think his life would be so much easier if he'd just man up a bit, but then remind myself that he is an individual with individual needs and my job as his mum is to love him unconditionally and to support those needs. It's difficult sometimes!

i was a kid like that - bullied, not asked to join in anything, gradually withdrew from seeking contact with others. I did not make friends easily neither at school nor in playing groups. The boredom and waiting for the end of it in sport and leisure camps where my mum usually dumped me for quite some time in summer breaks still makes me cringe.

But my story has happy ending - somewhere in grade 8 it appeared that my schoolwork was very useful to use by less smart classmates, and i could do math test for me and couple of friends during the test time. I was also very bookish, I remember reading all my schoolbooks immidiately after i got them. Slowly, I earned new respect. by now, I am 45, and my class mates think they have always respected me - they do not remember the bullying times at all....they had all forgotten by the time we were 25.

I never thought I was weird, tbh. For me I was normal, even if sad that others did not play with me. It was especially bad when someone did for some time, then moved on to a friend with higher reputation. It happened in the first year at school - my benchmate left me as soon as there was a possibility..... Where i grew up no support for any child for adaptation issues was offered, so i just had to live as it was. A happy note though - I did not consider myself always sad - apart from the moments the rejection was fresh, i was okeish. Loved wandering in nature and being by myself. I became a scientist (natural sciences) to limit expose to rough world:-))

I have great career and am considered particularily good at public presentations.....I have to admit though that I worry about them and may be good because i rehearsh and prepare properly. the lingering issues are that i hate calling strangers, making appointments with docs or sorting out tickets etc. i do them all though:-)