Advice please. 2 under 2 soon!

[KeepOnPloddingOn]

I am mostly excited; this was planned ! However, I occasionally do wobble and panic! if dd being a nightmare

I would move to hear from others who have gone through this mayhem and ask for any advice ?

(There will be 20 months between them.)

Thanks in advance :)

Snap. There are 20 months between my ds. The hardest part for me was my eldest didn't walk until he was 23 months so I had 2 under 2 both not walking. It can be hard but once you're into a routine and you realise some days will have to just be pj days because it's nice and cosy and not because you haven't had time to do the washing it's really nice.

I had 20 months between mine too
The first year was hard, DS was a cheeky and active two year old and DD was a Velcro baby. I did have to make peace with leaving DD to cry while i sorted DS out which I found really tough There was no gap between DS sleeping through and pregnancy related sleeplessness, so I was like a zombie until recently when DD (finally) started sleeping through at 2 1/2
The good points are that there has been virtually no sibling rivalry, only the occasional bicker about toys and they adore each other. That could just be luck/personalities, but DS doesn't remember a time that DD didn't exist, so there is no resentment there for him.
Life is a lot easier now, DS is 4.6 and going to school in September and DD is 2.9 and going to preschool in September. They play really well together and I hope their relationship continues to be good and that they are friends for life
I am also glad that I have got all the baby stuff out of the way and have got past the sleepless nights and endless amounts of specialist junk that babies need (I am not great with babies!!)
Overall, I am glad of that age gap, although there have been times when I've wondered what I've done!

16 months between mine. The best bit of advice I can give you is to get a good sling that baby will sleep in. Unlike with your first, life has to go on if baby is having a grissly moment - tea still needs cooking and baths still need running. A good sling can make all the difference to those grissly moments!

Im reading with interest!! Our dd is only 5 months but we had a struggle to conceive her and I keep thinking should we try for no 2 now just in case it takes as long but I'm also aware that there's a chance I could fall straight away. I keep thinking if u have one in nappies then you may as well have two in nappies and get all the hard work out the way in one go!!! Am I mad thinking this!!

I had 2 under 2 and then 3 under 4.

You cope-because you have to! You know what you are doing second time round with the baby so it is not such a challenge in that respect. The hardest thing I found was lack of sleep-non of mine were sleepers so I had a period of 10 yrs before I had a full night's sleep!!

Let your standards slip, try and plan ahead for food etc.

Get your OH to help out as much as possible-I didn't do this-he was bloody useless and do SFA with any when they were babies, despite me working with the first 2!

Do your research wrt double buggies-make sure you get one that will do everything you want OR buy 2-we had a huge chunky off roader which was fab for everything except going around shops-it didn't fit through doors etc. So we bought a cheap fold up to sling in the boot of the car if I needed to take them shopping.

Don't go shopping with 2 under 2 (or 3 under 4)-it's not worth the hassle!!

Thanks all! :)

I do have two slings as I am a fan and have heard I can feed in the close caboo I bought , so that will be awesome.

I am plannig on buying the city jogger as its lightweigt and narrow for a double, freckles.

I guess online shopping it is for me?

Another 20 month gap here. One thing that was a lifesaver was planning in advance for the 5-7pm bedtime chaos. So I would keep nappies by the bath: pjs, cream, change mat etc would be thrown into bathroom in the morning so I could literally sit/bathe/change/dress/feed whatever without having to go grab anything. Also tried giving DD1 a doll that she looked after and put to bed while I tended to DD2. Worked for a little while.

They are in bath beside me now aged 3 and 4 and inseparable so well worth the carnage of the first six months. Don't be afraid to ask for help from people who ask though! Congratulations and good luck for the new arrival

Hahaha - Miaow I could have written your post myself! 11 month gap here too, and everything Miaow said....esp double trolleys and late walkers (DD was 16 months and DS was/is a chunky monkey so my back was not happy).

The sheer logistics are hard, one is emptying your make up out whilst the other is screaming. Invest in baby gates, we have them EVERYWHERE as we also have dogs, and it stops DD waking DS up, it also means you can keep one safe in one location whilst you change a nappy etc.

But it's getting much easier now, on the whole.

Watching this with interest as DS is currently 21 months and DC2 is due to arrive in the next 6 weeks. I am having periodic panics about it, but hopefully it will all be a lot smoother than I think.

Luckily DS loves walking so we are hoping to get away with either carrier/buggy or pram/buggy board and so not have to buy another buggy.

DD was a few days shy of 21 months when DS was born.

A moby wrap has saved my life. I've managed the past 3.5 months with no double buggy. It's also a godsend if DH isn't home to help with bath/bed time.

If you're BFing I found a bean bag to lean against on the floor means I can still play with/draw/read with DD while I'm feeding DS.

Nappy stuff on every level of the house.

DD adores her baby brother and asks for him the second she wakes up. Loves cuddling him and kissing him and "playing" with him (him on bouncy chair while she shows him stuff saying "look DS"). He's the quickest way to cheer her up. We just have to get him to "dance" do something silly. (Ok might be bad parenting but it works)

He positively beams at her.

It's a wonderful age gap.

Aww love this positivity! :)

All this advice is really helpful too, thankyou.

18m between first two, 16m between 2 & the one I'm pregnant with!

Pregnant with a toddler is SO much harder than newborn & toddler, so hope that helps with the 'how will I cope?!'

Sling for the first 6months & then joovy caboose ultralite (compact double with back seat that can be a seat, bench or standing bit for dc1).

My ds1 was a bit anti ds2 for An hour but got used to him quickly. Occasionally hits him but aside from that they love each other so much, it's lovey to see them interact.

You will cope - to be brutally honest it is not an unsual situation. I conforted myself in the fact that millions and millions of people had either done this or were doing it - how bad could it be

True glow !!

drfunkes thanks!

Erm ... Are you super woman by the way!?

Mental woman more likely

All planned with a few miscarriages along the way so would've had much smaller gaps!

Whatever snacks you can stand to feed DD as meals (ds1 had breadsticks, hummus, cucumber & carrot sticks with cooked chicken sort of 'picnic' meals for most of the first few months).

I let the housework slide during the week & catch up on it when dh takes them out on a sat morning, so work out what you're willing to let standards slide on (tv is your friend! Ds1 has an episode of something when I'm feeding ds2, doesn't get it aside from that).

Do you know what you're having?

I have 3 under 5, dd2 (2) and ds (5 months) were both under 2 until recently with 22 months between them. I was also recovering from major abdominal surgery after his birth so have developed tactics.

Sling is essential for all outings ditto for reins if toddler a bolter.
Rocker chair - get baby used to being rocked to sleep in it rather than being on you - I can now rock ds to sleep with my foot whilst cooking.
Ready meals, have a selection on stand by for the early and bad days.
Online shopping for most things.
Find a local playgroup with supportive staff who can hold the baby or watch the toddler while you feed baby or change toddlers nappy.
Get out of the house, less tidying for you and tires toddler out. Walks are great for this as baby will sleep. Puddle suit and wellies for rainy days saves you going spare couped up in the house.
Read or play on the floor with toddler whilst breastfeeding.
Selective use of CBeebies/Peppa Pig etc ...
Bath time can be flexible, if it clashes with baby fractious time in the evening move it temporarily. Also useful for rainy days.
Accept help.

Sorry to hear of you mc. Glad all has worked out forgot though dr.

I do not know what I am having yet, I feel its a boy though. The picnic style meals sound ideal. Dd loves breadsticks etc. Is it sad that I am actually goin to write all these tips down! Haha. Thanks so much.

For you*

miaow I often get the 'need the park' feeling with just the one ! She is adorable, but a wee love wire...

The back garden is well resourced already (despite being relatively small) but she is still a little young to just potter about in it. Though when dc2 here she will be older - though it will be January so I dunno if that really applies! But certainly in the months after dc2 's arrival she can :)

Thanks Miaow. I often see you post and you are always helpful. Appreciated.

18 months between mine, the second came a week early and i was NOT prepared i was running around like a headless chicken but calm down.. relax two babies / two toddlers will never be easy but it is also so rewarding and my kids are so close i feel part of this is to do with how close they are in age. You can do this, enjoy the challenge =) x

storm thankyou! Motivating words - I shall need them :) I am really excited though :)