When do you step in?

[bubalou]

Don't want to out myself so apologies for vagueness -

Horrid child being 'not so nice' with DS at school but he isn't phased by it so have left it. This kid does it to all of the boys in the class.

Today the child came up to DS and was unbelievably horrible right in front of me and his own dad. It was one of those moments when I was so shocked I couldn't react properly but I told him less of the attitude as his dad said nothing.

Do I speak to his parents and say that I don't think it's ok for this child to talk to him that way?

I don't have any experience of this (yet!), but think I'd just try to disengage with him - ignore / start up a different conversation with my son / walk away. If he walks over, is rude, and you respond it gives him the time of day.

Harder for your son to do away from you, but if there are other children who feel the same way they could band together perhaps.

I guess of more interest is how your son takes it. Is he upset / offended? If he is, I'd probably line up a choice phrase or two for the boy (child friendly, obviously). The teachers should be made aware too

Just read - he's not phased. That's good at least

Thanks got the reply.

He didn't used to be phased but it has starting getting to him which is why I am having a problem with it now.

I just couldn't believe the nerve of this little kid! I have told DS not to engage now and he will be walking away as soon as the child talks to him about anything mean.

I'm just so laid back usually and seeing it in front of my eyes was just .

I doubt the parents who know what he is like would do anything anyway / it's likely to just start a feud.

I'd speak to the school rather than the parents, especially as the incident happened in the the playground (or have I misunderstood?). Let them know that you are aware of other incidents happening in school, that you have given the school the chance to deal with the problems in their own way but you are unwilling to let the situation continue any longer as it is making your DS unhappy. It is bullying and should be dealt with as such under their anti-bullying procedure.

Definitely let the teachers know even if no action needs to be taken about a specific incident they need to know this is a general problem for that child (ie the one doing the bad stuff).

The goings on over the past months has been at school.

The incident I witnessed was at a weekend sports tournament.

Thank you for the advice.

It's so difficult isn't it... The want to protect and say something direct must be overwhelming. With his dad there too!

Think I might speak to other parents of affected children, a subtle sound out might reveal everyone feels the same and don't know how to broach it. Certainly it sounds like it needs to be addressed, given your ds is starting to get affected.

Good luck op x