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Original poster

should I /shouldn't I leave dd??

51 replies

lemondriz · 05/06/2014 19:12

I am about to get a stoning I'm sure as this is a remarkably selfish request... But here goes!!

Dd is 8 months also have ds 3y
Dd is breastfed fed but won't take a bottle ever she is on 3 meals a day.plus snacks and will drink.a.little from.a cup .. I have a trip to London planned for my birthday We will be going early afternoon saterday and back for dinner Sunday.. I planned to tank her up.before we go leave lots of dairy rich foods with my mum and hoping ones she is milk hungry enough will mayb take a bottle

Before the stoning just a little background info I have been suffering from pnd between my partner and I we have
Had the mother of all years, Inc hyperemesis during pregnancy, moving, death of my sister, the worst xmas known to.man due to illness dd and dh rushed to hospital several times within in says of each other and I have not had a night out at all since new year 2012-2013. And dh and I haven't spent an evening alone since then either.. There is more but I.will leave it at that... Needless to say I really REALLY need a break just one heavenly night a bath with out an audiences of children a lie in and maybe get to know the man that lives in our house and fathers my children.....

Please please any advice no matter how brutal would be appreciated the alternative is taking them with and doing kid stuff so not all is lost.. Butty sanity is solely reliant on getting a break and I have been dreaming of it for a year and half

OP posts:

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Original poster

lemondriz · 05/06/2014 19:49

Bernard what's a soft cup?? I Googled it and got some kind of menstrual contraption ??

OP posts:

SholerAndChocolate · 05/06/2014 19:51

Go go go!

In my expiearience kids behave differently with other people. My girls will sleep through the night and drink out of 'special' cups at nanna's but will not do it for me!!

Unless your mum is a raging alcoholic, murderer or a danger to your children GO. Do not feel guilty, do not look back, just go!

MeeWhoo · 05/06/2014 19:54

Who has been trying to get her to drink milk, just you? She is a lot more likely to take it from someone else who is not bfing her.

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ShoeWhore · 05/06/2014 19:55

Definitely do it OP - sounds like it is much needed. My guess is when push comes to shove and she knows there is no boob available she will take a bottle.

I had similar with ds3 and a very good friend's 40th birthday party when he was 10 mo - he'd never taken a bottle either. I actually can't remember what he drank out of in the end (I left a selection of receptacles!) but he definitely did drink.

He also only ever slept through when left with my parents

Minimoom · 05/06/2014 19:56

Do it! My DS sounds just like your DD 8 months refuses bottles breast feeds through the night. Also like you I have a 3 yr old DD. It was my birthday last month and my mum offered to have them for the night so DH and I could go away. I was really worried too but she assured me it would be fine and said even if she didn't get any sleep for one night she could easily catch up in the rest of the week.

So I went and it was fine! He actually took the bottle from her which I was really shocked at as he will not take from myself or my DH. He woke a couple of times and she settled him with cuddles or the bottle but he actually slept better for her than he ever does for me!

Go and enjoy yourself you deserve it!

slithytove · 05/06/2014 19:56

I think your perception is a wee bit skewed. Possibly the pnd?

To expect a metaphorical stoning for one night away from dd... I mean you wanting to do that is more than acceptable, let alone she is 8 months and it's for your birthday!

You never know, she might behave differently with granny than she does with DH. Or she might come back weaned onto bottles!

Either way, go, have a fantastic time, and don't worry. Going without much milke for 24 hours is not a big deal. And if you get back and she hasn't had her milk, don't feel guilty!

Children are clever little sods and know how to make us feel bad

Have a brilliant birthday

BloominNora · 05/06/2014 20:12

Go.

Buy a big tub of full fat greek yoghurt and get your mom to top her up with that during the day and before bed if she won't take milk - my breast fed bottle refusing dd got through tons of the stuff at nursery when I went back to work and she wouldn't take formula. She was perfectly happy on it until she went onto cows mile at 11 months (which she now drinks by the pint full!).

She could also have yoghurt in the night instead of a feed.

BloominNora · 05/06/2014 20:15

Oh and if you don't hand express don't forget your pump. I went away with work over night when DD was 10 months old. I felt like I had basketballs for boobs!

MissWimpyDimple · 05/06/2014 20:19

Do it. My best friend had a exclusively bf 5 month old baby and left him with me for the night. He had refused bottles again and again but when it came to it he took it.

It was a tough night but we survived and so will your DD!

But you do need to remember that your mum will have a tough night!!!

NatashaBee · 05/06/2014 20:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rumtumtugger · 05/06/2014 20:24

Yes go!!! As pp have said, take a breast pump to make it a bit more comfortable for you. Also, definitely be a bit kinder to yourself. You sound like a good mum

littlesupersparks · 05/06/2014 20:24

She will be fine. I was in hospital for a week when DS2 was 9 months. I didn't have any bottles. On the way to a and e I told my mum to buy some ready made cartons and they tried to give him some in a sippy cup. He didn't like it and made up for it with food. She basically weaned him on cheesecake!! But he was FINE. He settled with cuddles and pats. I'm sure even if she wakes a couple of times your mum won't mind one sleepless night with lots of baby cuddles xx

BernardlookImaprostituterobotf · 05/06/2014 20:29

Actual lol at coming up with menstrual cups! I'm a fan of the unconventional but even I wouldn't go that far.
Medela Softcup it's cheaper elsewhere. No one could get Ds to take a bottle even though many babies will soon take one if mum is away, he just wouldn't.
I needed to be away from him, it was unavoidable, so he had to be able to be fed by others - spoon feeding was not practical and trying to get him to use a hard cup or spout was equally unsuccessful (he was very clean though, after a hosedown after every attempt) until he was months older. I spent a kings ransom on probably every available teat/feeder around & this was my last ditch attempt after even the haberman feeder and breastflow were rejected alongside all the non specialist teats. It worked very well for us but is just an idea in the pot.

Does your mum look after them often? Or is it mostly visits?
Maybe a dry run could be scheduled - day time and when you are free to go back and a practice with bottles could be tried with you out of the house. A new environment & no milky boobs can prompt a surprise turn around sometimes.

NCISaddict · 05/06/2014 20:29

Go go go. Even if she doesn't sleep easily it's only one night. I would do that for my DD and I know my Mum would have done it for me. You need the break and will be better for it.

Xmasbaby11 · 05/06/2014 20:29

You should go, as long as you feel you can switch off and enjoy it.

Maybe decide on when your mum will contact you - eg if she doesn't settle at night, do you want to be told when you're far away and can't do anything?

I have to say if it were me I wouldn't leave a baby who breastfeeds at night and basically doesn't take a bottle. Sorry, I know that's harsh but that's how I feel.

Could your mum stay over and then you could go out for the evening?

Iwillorderthefood · 05/06/2014 20:32

I had loads of trouble with Dd2 she would not take a bottle. Anyway, I took DD1 to a party and left her with DH, it snowed,so I had to go very slowly on the way home. DH had called me an hour before telling me DD2 was beside herself, by the time I got home, she was sleeping soundly and had been fed using a bottle. It was absolute bliss to have had someone else feed her for a change.

Your mum very capably looked after you, I should not worry. Go off, enjoy, and have a great time.

PS just about to have number three, can I borrow your mum sometime, she sounds great.

MargotLovedTom · 05/06/2014 20:35

Ignore kitsmummy and get yourselves away.

It is for one night, not six months! Your dd won't shrivel up through of bm and your mother won't perish after one (possibly) disturbed night .

MargotLovedTom · 05/06/2014 20:36

...through lack of bm...

SunnyUpNorth · 05/06/2014 20:45

Go!

You definitely deserve this. In fact I think it will do you he world of good. We all need time to ourselves and time to nurture our relationships. You and your dp will benefit hugely from a few hours alone together and the memory of it will keep you going for months too.

It is amazing also how some time away from your children makes you then appreciate them so much more. I always find when I have had a break from mine, even just a few hours, that I am note tolerant with them. So do it for their sakes too.

If she drinks a bit from a cup then she will definitely do it if she gets really, really thirsty. She is eating well so she isn't going to starve. Worst case scenario is that she is wakes alot in the night or wakes and gets quite distressed in which case she will probably eventually exhaust herself and fall asleep. If you're mum is happy coping with that then it is no problem. My parents and FIL would do it for us, even if they were up all night rocking a baby they wouldn't mind as they get a full nights sleep and lie in whenever they want.

Go, enjoy yourselves and try to carve out a little bit of time for yourself more frequently - you deserve it.

SunnyUpNorth · 05/06/2014 20:46

*note = more !

MyFabulousBoys · 05/06/2014 21:05

I left my DS at 8mths with DH for 3 days. It was a lifesaver. And I didn't really miss him either.

Can't offer info about bottle refusing because I gave mine formula due to milk intolerance.

Go. Don't feel guilty. Have a lovely time.

Jaffakake · 05/06/2014 21:32

Go & don't call your mum to see how it's going. Last time I did that I woke ds up after he'd just gone off!

mrsspagbol · 05/06/2014 22:49

[grin} at Jaffa.

Great tip BloomingNora on the yoghurt - wish I'd known that!

MillyONaire · 05/06/2014 23:02

When my ebf baby was a few months old I had a bad accident and was whisked off to hospital immediately - neighbours we didn't previously know looked after the baby giving bottles of formula they used for their -older - baby. Then a friend arrived who tried to sort out the house for older children and baby (stopping off to buy bottles and formula en route) before my mother could get there to move in for a longer period as DH had to get to the hospital to see whether I was still alive. They all survived!! The baby took whatever he was given, slept with whoever had him (he was passed from pillar to post) and was (reportedly) very acquiescent. Though he hadn't been that before or for a good year after the event! My point is that I believe they have a built-in survival instinct and maybe she will take a bottle or cup if she needs one but maybe you need to look at it as though you NEED this night away for medical reasons (ie your sanity) and go and enjoy and don't worry. In my case I was too sick to worry (I vaguely remember thinking about the children and not being able to muster much enthusiasm/stress as I was in too much pain/in and out of consciousness) but the thing is: they were fine - they were in good, kind, capable, loving hands as your babies will be.

MillyONaire · 05/06/2014 23:05

BTW I didn't have access to a breastpump during my first 36 hours and do not remember being uncomfortable - though was grateful to get one at the point I did - that surprised me through the fug of all that was going on! It's funny what gets through.

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