19 month old hitting

[minipie]

DD 19mo has started to hit other children . I don't think she has any idea it hurts - it's more an overexcitement thing or a game for her. (she does it with dogs too, she gets very excited and then starts flapping at their face ie hitting. obviously the dog is Not Keen). It's worse when she is tired or teething but she does it even on days when she's fine.

Saying no or making any sort of big reaction seems to make her more likely to do it again it's like it makes the game more fun.

Obviously I take her away and say "no hitting" and show her how to be gentle instead. That stops her for the moment but then 5 minutes later she'll do it again.

Is there anything more I can or should do? Will she grow out of it if I just keep doing what I'm doing?

bump?

It could be a sensory need, get her to use her arms more, rolling a ball and pulling and pushing. Teach her to stroke the dog and also play clapping games.

And say ouch I'd she hits the dog or a person.

I find saying not to do something makes my do (20m) do it more. Instead I tell him what he should be doing. I

Oops, sent too soon.

Instead I tell him what he should be doing : gentle hands and some rather than hit.

Some = stroke

Thanks both. Ok I will try to avoid no, you're right it does seem to have the opposite effect. I do say "be gentle" and show her how to stroke/cuddle but usually I say no first, so I'll try going straight to "be gentle" without the "no" first.

Only trouble is I feel like the other child's parent might expect me to say "no"?

She is a very cuddly child and is good at giving strokes/cuddles once reminded to do so, it's just she also (and often first) hits.

Sensory need is an interesting idea. She does like to touch. Her hand eye coordination is a bit behind for her age (she was premature) and I wonder if that's part of the reason - she wants to touch/interact and it comes out as flapping/hitting.

Clapping and patting games then. Does she clap?

Yep she likes clapping but only really does it when it's part of a song or if we clap. What are clapping and patting games? off to google.

Yes definitely say 'be gentle' instead of constant 'nos', as it's a world of nos around this age and no starts to lose its impact. Around this age mine started to learn about basic emotions so I would say the dog/child was sad and show a sad face and she cottoned on fairly quickly.

Just keep reinforcing. It seems like you have to do it over and over and over but eventually it just clicks.

Ok, will do! And will do the sad thing too.

forgot to say... thanks

Update (in case anyone has a similar issue and finds this thread) ...she seems to have stopped, thank god. her talking and understanding has really come on in the last month and I think that's helped, she seems to understand "hitting's not nice" and "cuddles are nice", eg if I say "be nice to the other children" she will say "not hitting". phew. so it seems like lots of repeated explaining was the way to go, even if it felt like it wasn't having any effect for ages.

The talking helps but don't be surprised if the hitting starts up again. My LO was really bad from 18-22 mths then she stopped hitting for a couple of months but its just started again at 24 mths. Its usually in tantrums and only with me. She doesn't hit others. I was surprised it started again as I thought those days were behind us. I hope your LO doesn't start again though and I hope my LO stops quickly as its a very annoying behaviour!

nooooo

hope not! and hope your DD stops soon. When she was hitting, it wasn't just me (in fact she rarely hit me) it was usually other children which was awful.

I'm a bit fan of a stern look at a short sharp 'no' but my 18mo dd responds much better when hitting to 'can you be gentle?' And we have a gentle noise of 'awhhh!' And then LOTS of praise when she is then gentle... Working for now!