Hi Guys
Just want to get my thoughts out really. As a bit of a background, DS is now 2.6. For the first year and a half of his life I suffered with quite severe PND and anxiety. To be honest I was pretty ill. I felt zoned out all the time. Dh was great and encouaged me to get help. I ended up having CBT and eventually started feeling more and more normal. I feel like I'm now as recovered as I'm ever going to be and that its something I'm going to stuggle with for the rest of my life. I'm ok with that, at the moment its manageable and I'm living a normal happy life, most importantly I'm enjoying DS.
My worry is that DH now wants to start trying for another baby. I love DS so much, and the thought of having another child makes me happy, BUT I'm so scared that I'm going to be ill again. I know Im not completely recovered, I don't know if I ever will be, and the smallest of things can set my anxiety off. I'm not sure I can go thorugh that again.
I'm so confused. I do want another child, but I have a deep seated feeling of dread and fear in the back of my mind that its all going to happen again.
Dh knows all this and is confident that we'll be ok, we made it through last time, so we'd make it through if it happened again. I'm not so confident, I'm worried that if I'm ill again, this time I might not make it back to my normal self again. I'm worried I'll be permanently broken and of no use to my family.
X