Aspie Woman Going Through Dx

[gerbiltamer]

I've seen quite a few threads on here which say very similar things but they are a good few months old now. Basically, I have a DS with AS and ADHD and until Christmas I believed that I was NT, but I'm not. Akin to many similar women I couldn't see how different I indeed was despite having a background of social awkwardness, bullying, isolation and strange obsessions.

I'm currently going through a formal Dx via the NHS and last week attended a Occupational Health appointment to enable some reasonable adjustments to be made at work as we hot desk and there's very little space. However, although I work PT and can also usually work from home once a week, the environment in the office is still horrible and staff in the vicinity seem to bang their keyboards like crazy. Also, despite commuting for nearly twenty years now, it's freaking me out more than ever and I'm really grateful that the journey only consists of a 45 minute ride on an overground train and not an underground one.

Sorry to go on, I'm driving my NT DH bonkers at the moment and I just feel awful. I've booked some counselling via work today but very few people tend to be clued up about AS/ASPs.

Please help!

Hi!

I also believe myself to be somewhere on the asd scale. I'm not seeking official diagnosis at the mo as i'm attempting to sort out my physical health and that takes up enough of my (and my gps) time. My boys are also showing traits (i have a thread in sn) but are only little so nowhere near officail diagnosis. I'm also convinced my dh shows signs (some more extreme in comparison to me, others less so), and i reckon we get on so well because we are both awkward and "click"

So glad im not in an office anymore, really really sympathise with the bloody noise of people typing. I'm really sensitive to noise, can vary between finding loud noise relaxing (fell asleep in an mri for example) or it (my kids screaming a good example here) making me feel like i need to peel my skin off!

It was only when i was looking at stuff for ds2 that i noticed it in myself and ds1. Ds1 is very like me, so any weird behaviour was written off with "well i did/do that"

Thank you for replying Beyond, I really appreciate it. You make a good point about Aspies seeking out similar partners as I have done so in the past. How are your DSs getting on at school? My DS was diagnosed at 4 when he was in Reception and he's been well supported so far, although I fear for his future.

The noise thing is really difficult isn't it? I know this sounds really odd but my TiVo box is much Whittier than its predecessor.

I have found it both a blessing and a curse going through the DX but probably the most interesting thing so far is the realisation of why I have acted the way I do for so long.

They're not at school yet, youngest is 2, eldest 3.6. The eldest is in nursery and plays alongside the other children, not really interested in them at all. He starts preschool nursery in september so am hoping to chat to them about my concerns when he does (he's only at the current one temporarily). Youngest should then be starting the 2+ playscheme thing in september too. Both are held in the primary school they should be attending, that apparently has fab asd provision, so hoping they'll be able to see it in them. Cause so far, its only me and dh that are concerned, my mum writes everything off as "you did that". Shes from the school of "too many labels on things nowadays" etc...

I have hypermobility syndrome too, its very like that in that things i thought were normal and everyone did, i now realise arent normal.

Nursery should defo give you a steer in the right direction. My DS was examined by the Health Visitor aged 2 and she noted that he wasn't hitting his milestones and this was also picked up at nursery later on. He does get extra help at school and he's on meds to deal with ADHD. I didn't have any more children and it's only now I realise that I can barely cope with one, esp when we were both working in London.

As for being normal, I always knew that I wasn't, but at least I know why now! I have been signed off from work for a fortnight. Sigh.

Will Google hypermobility, have heard of it though.

Hello, I found your thread and Don't want to hijack, just happy to not be alone. My daughter is Three and being assessed for autism dx, and reading up on all things asd has made me realise I am most likely a woman with high functioning asperger. The noise thing and the general social awkwardness and being naive and childlike. I hoped to ask about meltdowns, as my girl does not have them, and I sort

Oh, it got posted too soon. I have sort of not had any formany years.

Hi Turbo, thank you for posting and sorry for not checking earlier but I've been off sick from work because I cannot cope with it at the moment and I'd only run out crying again. It never occurred to me to ask when my DS was going through DX that I may be AS too. Would it be worth you asking the psychologist for their opinion as a friend of a colleague did this.

The thought came because there's always been consensus that I'm a bit weird. Then as I was reading everything available to work out my little daughter I realised that many of the things that are difficult for me, are indeed typical spectrum traits. It's been a relief. My ex partner always wanted to fix me, and could not understand why "normal" was so hard for me.

I'm so sorry that it's hard for you at work. The desk thing sounds awful. Hopefully a dx will mean you can get your own desk In a quieter corner.
What made you think differently after xmas? Did you find some helpful literature?

Forgot to answer; not sure I want a formal dx. I'm å single mum, and the children's dåd is likely to use it against me. He already tried to make out I was mentallyunstable. Except I am doing really well now that the pressure to be someone Else is off. My daughter is presenting with classical asd, and she is awesome. My oldest son also has traits, and I build himup focussing on his strengths so that the quirks get to be a part of his package, so to speak.

Sorry to hear that your ex is being such a disruptive PITA, it's difficult at the best of times.

The Christmas thing was because of an unfortunate incident with another parent at the school nativity show. It was only then that it all clicked into place.