Toddler tantrum before bed

[rosepetalsoup]

Something's gone really wrong with our bedtime routine and I wonder if anyone can help me troubleshoot it. I have a little 20 month old who was previously going to bed at 7 and waking up at 5am. We tweaked her routine and so now she goes to bed at 8ish and wakes up between 6 and 7. So far so good, buuuuuuut her bedtime is creeping later (more like 8.30 now) and she is crying for a whole half-hour before bed.

It starts going wrong at bath time: She won't get out of the bath and so I have to just lift her out and carry her from the bathroom screaming. Nothing will help, no temptation (fave story) no drying off all the bath toys first etc. From thereon in she acts like she knows she's got a battle on her hands and overreacts about everything, and will just not be put down, it takes several 'pick up put down' type re-entries to eventually get her to lie down. After a particular time (at the moment 8.30) she seems to give up and drop off.

It is ruining our evenings and there seems no rhyme or reason to it. I feel like a failure as I don't know what to do. She's eating well, all else is normal etc.

Hi there, sounds like she's getting over tired. My DD melts down in the bath if it's getting too late. Do you need to need to move the bedtime to later? Can you just cut down on day nap time instead so she sleeps longer at night? Or is at least ready for bed at 7.30pm instead of 8?

I've blogged on practical ways to deal with Tempter Tantrums, and did a post on foods to make your toddler sleepy and ready for bed - some of the info may be of interest to you - mydaughterwontsleep.com/2014/05/12/temper-tantrums-an-alternative-approach/

mydaughterwontsleep.com/2014/05/18/sleep-inducing-foods-for-you-and-your-child/

Good luck and best wishes

She is probably over tired and past it. Perhaps go back half an hour or back to original time. Unfortunately 5 was the time mine got up for about 2 years. It was awful but they did grow out of it. I got to a stage when bed time was 9.00 for me !

is she having any naps during the day? try cutting them out. my boy goes to bed at 7 and wakes at 6 (he's 2.5) and we still have some over tired tears at night.

Thanks all. Yes she has a two hour nap in the day. We tried once to have no nap but it was bad and she over-compensated the next day. Last night she went down at 8.30/9 but was up at 5 this morning. Then went down for nap at 10.30 and is still asleep. That's too early for a nap in my opinion but perhaps this will enable me to re-jig bedtime to earlier & reset.

We went through the exact same thing with DD at 24 months; the seemingly irrational crying was horrid. I think 7pm is the golden hour for bedtime, any later and they get straggled. We struggled with the daytime nap, she clearly needed it but it got later and later, with bedtime shifting to 9pm at one point.

We got some advice and cut out her 2 hour nap, made sure we took her out at 4pm to keep her awake, then very quickly dinner, bath, story and in bed by 6pm. She dealt with this very long day by tacking on the 2hr nap to her night time sleep as she was so tired, so slept 14hrs; 6pm-8am! It was a revelation. One year later and we're working her up to a 7pm bedtime as she seems to be able to handle it. Good luck.

That sounds *** amazing Roopachoo. I take my hat off to you! I will try that. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE it if my DD went to bed at 6. Til 8!!!

Did you ever have the 5am wake-ups?

We had night wakings when she had the 9pm bedtime. We were told that they are usually a sign of an over tired child- seems counter-intuitive but a lot of parents make the mistake of keeping kids up in the hope they'll be more tired so sleep better, or not wanting an early bed time as thinking it would mean an early wake up. But basically being over tired is the font of all toddler evil. A well rested child will sleep better at night. I did struggle to the understand the logic of the 6pm bedtime as thought surely she'd get over tired without a nap, but it worked! 8am-6pm means that she only has a 10 hour day so it's manageable without any naps, and means that she's really ready for bed at 6pm. Good that you have a solid bedtime routine.