Feeling so low - DS only wants mammy!

[widdle]

I feel like I have made a massive rod here.

DS is 1 and is really really lovely but for the last few months he only seems to want me. I work part time and generally things are fine when it is only me and DS - we play and he will play happily on his own for a while but at weekends if DH and I are in the same room and I'm trying to get things done he will just scream and cry until I spend time with him. If I leave him with DH and go out to get a break he is also fine but as soon as I arrive back it's mammy time again!!

He also NEVER settles to sleep for DH. I have a horrendous cold at the moment and last night when he woke at 3am I woke him up even more with my coughing. He just wasn't settling so in the end I got DH to go into him. This resulted in a massive screaming session until I went back and took over again. Apart from a couple of months when he was really young I have done every single night-time waking so he is only used to me now.

I don't even know what I try to say on this thread but does anyone else have the same problem? Is this just a phase? Any tips for getting DH more involved? He does do the bedtime bath, will play with DS, do nappy changes etc so does a lot but DH definitely comes a very poor second to mammy at the moment

Oh this is totally normal, and not rod-made! Babies and young toddlers prefer their main caregiver, usually mum.

I have 2 dc and both have been as you describe. Dd is still just 13m and is perfectly happy with DH if I'm not there (except at night) but if I'm in the room, especially if she's tired, she wants no one else.

It is hard and draining, but yes it's just a phase. Separation anxiety is at it's strongest just now. DS is nearly 4 and equally happy with us both unless he's ill, when he wants his mum, as do most kids IME.

Things that helped I think we're starting to do story time at night, so we'd do bath together then every other night DH would do story and milk and start the settling and I'd go in if he was unsettled. Also helps to have lots of family cuddles, and if DH gets left out go over and say oh poor DH, you need a cuddle too. Also, if your DS needs comforting, don't immediately step in; he needs to learn that your DH can provide that comfort.

My DH felt pretty rubbish about it and needed some reassurance. He and DS are amazingly close now, and it'll be the same with dd soon, she just still needs me, and it's so much easier this time because I've learnt to go with it (and enjoy the adoration a bit!).

I know it's hard when you have to do everything/be everything for them. My DC never settled for DH at night (I was breastfeeding) until we nightweaned at 2/3 yrs and those years were long and tough.

But from 3yrs my youngest at least is a real Daddy's girl and I get "I do like you mummy but I like daddy best" and when it happens which it will, you might find you don't like it very much.

Hiya - yes it is a phase, but it does last several months! I am in the same situation with the nighttime wakings (groan) but my child is a bit older and enjoys going out and about with her dad etc. I flatter myself my thinking she screams for me because I am better at playing and more fun than my DH

Thanks all - think I'm just a bit grumpy because I'm full of cold and have no energy to entertain baby! It would be nice not to be 'on' all the time. The only time I can really relax is if I leave the house!

Ha ha rose I think the same - I must just be the most entertaining and fun parent ever