Tips for introducing big sister to new baby

[MeridianB]

Hello All

My DC1 is due in a few weeks and I'd like to give some thought and preparaton to ways that I can introduce my DSD (9) to her new sibling and provide reassurance during their early time together.

DSD seems happy about it all so far and we keep conversation about baby occasional and light rather than mentioning it all the time.

I have heard about baby giving older sibling a gift when they first meet and wondered if that was really just for smaller children. I suspect DSD would like it even though she will know it was set up by us.

DH and I are also keen to ensure that DSD gets as much quality 1:1 time with him as possible and I am happy for her to be involved in helping if she would like to.

Any other tips/books/conversations/ideas very gratefully received as we really want their initial time together to be gentle and happy.

A gift is a good idea as is taking her out to choose something for the baby.

Prep guests to come in and make a fuss over dsd before turning attentions to the baby. Baby won't know or care but dsd will.

Offer cuddles with the baby but don't force it.

We did the gift thing with dsd (8) and dss (10) when dd was born last year. We also got them to "hold her" and watch her while is had a wee/bath/hot cuppa etc so they felt useful, involved etc. However we also made sure as much as possible that she didn't disrupt their routine with us too much. We still went to the park a lot and took their bikes out, took them shopping etc

They both adore dd and love spending time with her. I actually think that dss enjoys playing with dd's toys more than she does!!

As long as she feels she has a role in the babies life she will be fine. Let her look after it as well - change a nappy , bath it with you , feed it if on the bottle and hold it. When you have visitors let her show them the baby and tell them about it she will love it. When she goes to clubs let her push the baby in and show it off and become the centre of attention. - then she will get bored of it all and life will just tick on.

I took my boys (6) out to choose some clothes for baby, they also chose the bottles, they helped me set up all the baby equipment, they helped choose where certain things were going to go.
They also got a gift bag from the baby with I'm the big brother t-shirts and some colouring books, some chocolate and a cup they'd asked for a few weeks previously (see, your sister already knows what you like, isn't she clever)

All friends and family were instructed to make a fuss of the boys first then the baby, no one was to go straight to the baby. (Everybody did this! yay)
So it was up to her big brothers to introduce her to the world, which they did with pride.

They helped bathe her, and feed her ebm, they chose her outfits for the day and fetched and carried nappies etc, they got really involved

I feel that all this is a lot of the reason they didn't feel pushed out, and why they absolutely adore their little sister 2 years on, seriously, she has them wrapped around her little finger and she knows it

I see no reason this shouldn't work for a 9 year old, make sure they don't feel pushed out, second to the baby etc, and you should be just fine :D