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Parenting

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Original poster

When do you shower?!

81 replies

SweetPeaPods · 25/05/2014 12:01

Ds is 11m and into everything. I used to find everyday things like having a shower so much easier as he would sit in his bouncy chair in the bathroom and watch me. He's now outgrown it. When do you shower or what do you do with child? He will just cry if I put him in cot to play. Friend suggested at nap time , but sometimes I need to be out the door before then and like him to have the nap in the car.

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scottishmummy · 25/05/2014 17:16

I like a hot shower,way too hot for an infant
I think folk over complicate this.you dont need to jump to every gurgle
You dont need to wholly build your routine round their preferences,to avoid crying

PurplePidjin · 25/05/2014 17:28

They do at some point have to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them. I very quickly learned that even though ds was acting as if the world had come crashing down around his ears it was more important for me to have a drink and a snack next to me before I settled down to feed him for an hour or so when he was tiny. If I didn't, he got his feed but also a tired, stressed and starving Mummy who wasn't up to playing with him much afterwards - whereas a minute or two of crying before the feed while I did the essentials meant he had a calm and cheerful mummy all day iyswim.

I would class a 5 minute shower as an essential. Yes, he'll be upset the first few times. He'll also soon learn that you come back to him ready to play. Your needs are just as important as his.

Although ScottishMummy said it a bit more succinctly

Artandco · 25/05/2014 19:19

Just turn temp down a bit then. We used one of those bath seats so they are stuck at one end. Perfect at that age as can sit alone in the seat and just play.

Mind you my 3 and 4 year old sometimes still sit at the end of the bath in bath water whilst I shower. And join me/ dh in main shower out of choice. They can't really bath/ shower alone for years as you have to watch/ help in case they slip so this seems far easier to me as at least both washed at once.
Now they are 3 and 4 they often bath together whilst I/ dh shower in main shower ( has no door so can watch them)

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littlegreengloworm · 25/05/2014 19:23

Mostly shower just before bed or even earlier after dh gets in (bath)

Also I wake at six thirty about 30 mins before baby so get a minute or two in the shower no problem and a mug of coffee.. 20 mins ironing somedays too. We've to be out of the house by 8am. I find at the weekends it takes me four hours to do what I do in 45 mins during the week.

scottishmummy · 25/05/2014 23:00

No i wont be turning down temp as i never take an infant in shower with me
Infant cries for brief time whilst parent in shower,so what?
The adult needs to crack on with what they're doing and fret less about impact of a shower.attachment isnt being compromised

Artandco · 26/05/2014 07:58

Scottish - it was just a suggestion to op who didn't seem to want to leave baby to cry. Some people do, some don't

To me leaving to cry whilst I shower, then leavi g to cry to sleep, leavi g to cry if I want toilet, leaving to cry whilst I cook etc just seems like half the days leaving to cry. When a slight adaption ie taking with you to bath, in sling on back to cook means no crying then that's what I go for and suggest to others. Apart from first few weeks of life I can't say either of ours ever cried unless in pain.

Sparklingbrook · 26/05/2014 08:02

I have never understood the amount of people that take their children to the loo with them.

Unless it's the modern way. Mine are 12 and 14 and I never took them to the loo with me, or in the shower.

ThursdayLast · 26/05/2014 08:07

I sometimes still use the doorway bouncer - that way I can stop him eating things he shouldn't, but he doesn't feel trapped.
Although mostly I shower in the evening after he's down, so tag doesn't help much.

PetShopGirl · 26/05/2014 08:14

I have a shower while DH gives DS breakfast and gets him dressed. DH then heads to work and I take over child care before either heading to work/nursery or getting on with the day if I'm not working. System works really well for us, and I even get the chance to put on some slap and blow dry my hair (priorities!).

Artandco · 26/05/2014 08:15

Sparkling - my grandparents have pictures of my father as baby/ toddler sitting in bath with them or in bathroom sink whilst they used loo etc.. They also put him in kitchen sink whilst they prepared food next to it. He's in his 60s so I don't think having baby near you is some modern fad.

I think the development of cots/ bouncers/ singing chairs etc means people can strap them in longer away from them. We didn't buy any of the typical ' baby stuff', as simply no room in small flat. Hence the above as no where to leave them safely for any length of time

dashoflime · 26/05/2014 08:15

At that age I used to put D's in the bath (without water!) While I went into the shower cubicle. So, sort of using the empty bath as a playpen. Obviously only works if the child is unable to climb out or work the taps.
When that stopped working- it was the cot. Could you try T.V to keep him quite? I put fireman Sam on my iPhone and put it somewhere visible from the cot. If not, then I agree you may just have to let him cry. You need a shower and you need to know he is safe.

Sparklingbrook · 26/05/2014 08:16

I suppose you do what works for you, but some things I can do without an audience for, just for 5 minutes.

KittyandTeal · 26/05/2014 08:19

I used to pop DD on the bathroom floor with some toys.

Now she's walking I close the stair gate and our bedroom door and she has free range of bathroom, landing and her room (all very close to each other)

I find it easier now than when she wasn't mobile as she'd just scream in her bouncy chair

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 26/05/2014 08:21

I always, always shower first thing in the morning otherwise I feel dirty, and again after exercising or before going on a night out. DS is nearly 8 but I used to leave him in his cot with some toys and books while I showered. I'm a single parent and always have been, so needs must. Nowadays he just watches TV while I'm in there .

PetShopGirl · 26/05/2014 08:27

I don't want this to sound antagonist, and I know for some people it's just not possible - single parents, shift workers etc - but I'm really surprised that no one else (I think) on this thread has mentioned DPs taking over for a bit in the morning while other halves shower/do whatever they need to do. My DH is great, but not because he does his fair share of child care. That should just be a given, surely?

Artandco · 26/05/2014 08:31

Pet - dh and I both do/ did method mentioned. Once I was back at work we alternated who worked from home and who out. Whoever worked out that day left at 6am before anyone else was up. So both of us parent 50/50 but also usually alone

FullOfChoc · 26/05/2014 08:33

I used to have a box of special toys in the corner of the bathroom that only came out when I showered so my dc would play happily with them for the 5 minutes it took me to shower.

rideyourbike · 26/05/2014 08:39

I have twins. They used to come in with me in the mornings for a quick shower and I would take a luxurious one in the evening

PetShopGirl · 26/05/2014 08:42

Artandco - fair enough, I know there are often reasons why it doesn't work (including for us sometimes - earlier starts, working away etc). I was just a bit surprised that on a whole thread no one else had mentioned DPs covering while they shower. Makes life so much easier having a few minutes peace to get ready in the morning.

rideyourbike · 26/05/2014 08:47

Well I think I assumed that wasn't an option. I know my husband used to be out the door by 8 and I would only be showering at 8 or 9.

rideyourbike · 26/05/2014 08:51

Ours is a a shower over a bath. They would sit in there and I would be showering, I don't think they ever came into any danger, they loved it. How do I bath your kids? Surely they go in the water with all it's dangers if water, slipperiness and soap?!!

Gileswithachainsaw · 26/05/2014 08:51

I used to just put in the cot. If they cried they cried.

Sparklingbrook · 26/05/2014 08:53

But I am now imagining these poor babies sat in the cold at the end of the bath. Sitting in the suds from the soap/shampoo/conditioner of the person showering who is towering above them.

Sounds terrifying.

whereisthewitch · 26/05/2014 08:54

I had a travel cot in the living room where i put DD with a pile of toys and stuck the tv/music on (we have a downstairs shower). Or I showered at night and had a quick wash in the morning.
my DH starts work at 7am so that was never an option I preferred time in bed

Gileswithachainsaw · 26/05/2014 08:58

I never understood why people are so sfraif of a baby crying for a few mins. I can understand a new born but 11 months, god no way I'd still be going without food water or a shower or weeing just cos baby might cry.

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