Agonising about whether to ttc #3

[Molotov]

We have 2 dds aged 5yo and 2yo. Both took a while to conceive (dd1 naturally after 9m and dd2 two years 6 cycles of clomid). DH wants another child but I definitely didn't within the first 18m of dd2's birth. I've been on the fence since Jan this year.

Dd2 is no longer a baby. My DM keeps nagging me about potty training and I felt sad when I looked a the basket of nappy-changing equipment. It's like my days of having a baby are numbered.But this is ridiculous as I've had two

eapecially dd2 as I never thought we'd be able to have another.

I bought her some knickers today, ready for
potty training but I felt a bit sad. I saw lots of
pg women and newborn babies and found myself staring stupid

I'm scared of trying in case I want it again and it never happens. I struggle sometimes with the two I have, let alone adding another. Our house only has 2 bedrooms. I had an ELCS with dd2 and would have another one. Recovery with 3 kids ... Me and dh are only children. 3 kids gives them ample opportunity for a good chance of extended family as they grow.

Sorry, phone is playing up. Is this a common problem when the youngest is no longer a baby? I am grouchy anf its spilling out from my inner thoughts to the luysidr world.

Gah! If I woke up tomorrow and had a +ve pregnancy test, I'd deal with it (and probably be quite happy). But its the indecisiveness that's driving me mad. And the feeling that if we did ttc and I got pg, all the worry about moving and another elcs wouls get to me, amongst the happy feelings, iyswim. It feels like it affects so many more people now (which it does).

*outside world ( I can type, honest)

Wish I knew what to say, but I don't have a clue. I am in a similar situation but different in that I reeeeeally feel broody for #3 but my sensible head is saying it would be a bad idea.

I just don't know!

Ask yourself the bigger question - do you want three children? Not do you want another baby, but do you want three children that are 6, 3 and baby / 10, 7 and 4? If you imagine yourself with those combinations does it feel right ir weird?

I think a lot of us would like another baby and to extend the baby years, but nappies and milk are such a short time really. You need to think past the baby years!

For what its worth, I'm newly pregnant with DC3. I knew I wanted another as soon as I had DC2 and bow is the right tine. But I still have moments of "what have we done?!" and worry that I've reduced the opportunities we can offer DC1 and DC2. Holidays will be camping and cottages in the UK rather than hotels abroad, private school is completely unfeasible (though probably was with just 2 DC to be honest!), less money and time for each DC. I know I want my new baby, but the doubts creep in anyway.

Good luck, whatever you decide!

Thanks fot replying.

I just feel like I'm going around in circles: I'll worry if I get pg (managing pg/elcs/elcs recovery/managing the needs of 3 children) and probably punish myself for having to split my attention between 3 kids and feeling run off mu feet. I'm split between this and possibly regretting never even trying for a 3rd dc.

It's so hard isn't it, one of those things where you cannot possibly know what it's like on 'the other side'...

Is age a factor in your problems conceiving? In other words can you afford to wait another year or something, so your youngest is a bit more independent?

I'm 31yo. If I got pg tomorrow, there would be a 6y and 3y gap between siblings. We could wait; although this concerns me as it took so long, plus clomid, to conceive dd2 (unexplained infertility, so wouldn't necessarily happen again).

It's the indecisiveness that's driving me crazy. I don't havr a strong feelig eitherway - I talk myself into it, yhrn out of it on a minute-by-minute basis.