My 14 year old is sexually active !

[Calvinsmum1]

I seperated from my abusive husband in January after years of mental and physical abuse, I have two daughters 14(15 in sept) and 12, my eldest refused to leave her dad so my youngest and I are now in a Woman's Aid refuge temporary accommodation . My husband is leaving my eldest daughter for increasingly longer times on her own and I have discovered that she has a boyfriend and he is in the house a lot of the time , especially when they are on their own, she told me today she is having sex with him and went last week to get an implant for contraception . I am broken hearted , this is not what I wanted for my daughter at such a young age and although I respect the fact that she has gone for contraception and that she wanted to tell me , I feel I have let her down and although she would never have left the family home I am at a loss over what to do . My ex and I do not speak at all but I feel he should know that he should not be providing them with the opportunity of being alone for extended periods of time ..... Can anyone please give me some advice please

I don't have teens myself but I think they'll probably be having sex anyway, even if they weren't left alone for very long. She sounds like she's got her head screwed on - going to get contraception is a very mature decision to make. Sounds like you've got a good relationship with her if she can talk to you about it?

I disagree becca

You're making a huge genralisation

my dd1 is 14 and she will not be having sex at this age at all

Calvin

Its good that she is sorting contraception, means she is thinking about what she is doing

do they realise that he is committing a crime? Do you think it would matter to them?

teenage stuff is damn hard

Oh Becca thank you , I've felt sick for the last 3 hours

I also think if they were going to do it they would find somewhere to do it

Even if they didn't get the chance at her dads house, if they really wanted too they would find a way

She is being sensible in getting the implant, but have you also discussed stds?

I honestly don't think they realise they are breaking the law and to be honest she is never going to admit it if it means he is being prosecuted , after all it took her 6 weeks to speak to me after I was attacked and moved out , she blamed ME for breaking up the family ,

When she told me I discussed that Adults who were having inter course still had to be aware of the necessity to still use condoms as protection against STD's .

I didn't mean that all 14 yr olds will be having sex, but that if a particular 14 year old wants to be/is sexually active, they'll find a way of doing it surely? Unless you put the brakes on them ever leaving the house without you by their side. Illegality rarely stops anyone doing this sort of thing, much like smoking and drinking.