FFS where has this broodiness come from? And how can I learn to live with it?

[fuzzpig]

This is ridiculous. I thought we were 'complete' and felt that way for ages, and actually shuddered at the thought of doing it all again.

We have two DCs together, aged nearly 7 and 4. We'd always talked about having a larger family but circumstances (mostly health related) when my youngest was around a year old meant that it was not even entering our minds to try for DC3.

But things are better now, and I thought I was perfectly happy, and this sudden empty aching incomplete feeling has really, really shocked me. It is all consuming and very distracting.

It's such a ridiculous notion that I haven't even mentioned it to DH, I daren't, as it will only upset me when he perfectly reasonably and sensibly says it's not an option.

GAH. Somebody tell me how to get over it? Please?

It'll pass, hopefully!
Do you really need to get over it though?
My friend had an accidental third and they are such a great bunch. I can't imagine them without their third one now.

I have similar aged children to you and I was asked to hold a baby the other day. One sniff of the lovely boy and I was instantly clucky. But I got over it quickly, by reminding myself of my future, my energy levels and my so called 'career'.

I think my hormones are responsible. I'm an older mum and if I'm ever gonna have another it must be now. But I won't. I'll babysit to get my baby fix.

I don't know if I neeeeed to... I should though I think (ok I don't really. In my head it is totally a good idea )

Age is not a factor for me as I'm 27 (was broody very young and first TTC at 19 - both DCs were conceived very quickly) but DH is older, and although that's not as much of an issue as maternal age, it's still an issue I think.

Even if by some miracle DH agreed, I'd still want to wait another year or so as there's a lot of things that still need to be sorted out in our lives.

I am talking myself round in circles here sorry

Thank you for replying. Can't really talk about this IRL.

Well, if I was your age I would want more. Whether I would or not would be down to financials, what dh thought and my own health and career.

When I see my two getting on so nicely it makes me feel all proud, lovely and slightly clucky. But, when I think of the shit, organisation, childcare and generally laying down the law all the time I think I've had enough.

Ha :o I was actually wondering if it's maybe partly due to the fact we are through the terrible twos and all that, so I don't feel so harassed all the time! But we've had a few horrible situations recently (the kind of stuff you'd find in a 'the worst things about being a parent' thread) and I was thinking oh at least this will rapidly kill the broodiness... nope, it only got more intense! What!?

Financially - well, we have never been big earners, and are fairly frugal and are saving for a deposit my broodiness and daydreaming has even extended as far as figuring out the bare minimum we'd actually need to buy for a new baby (we have absolutely nothing from previous two)

I have a job but am very part time, I've actually never done the whole maternity leave thing as I got made redundant in my first pregnancy (too soon after starting the job to be entitled even to SMP, and too pregnant to get another job... fun times ) and was then a SAHP. DH is doing well in his job.

Sorry just thinking out loud really, it is nice to get it out though!

Dh reckons sex was the answer. Sex with contraception. Worked out nicely I suppose. For him.
I've been a total mug!

See what happens. I was travelling the world at 27 and babies were the last thing on my mind. How about a holiday (planning a great one when your Dh is off) to see some new stuff and a new focus? Even if it's within the UK, there are still some fab places out there!? You are young and have loads of time.

It happens. I have 3 but could go a 4 th if I wasn't too old (43).. Just think nice hols to enjoy with kids ANC you may steer clear of a 3 rd. but 3 is a nice no of kids to have!

Why don't you discuss it with your dh now? If the notion is completely out of the blue for him, he may well pour cold water on it now. But if he realises you're thinking about it then he will think about it too, and might come round to the idea. Better to do that now and you can then both see how you feel in a few months time, rather than you getting more and more keen, presenting him with the idea next year only for it to be a total shock to him and he not ready to agree.

I have 2 dc's (5.5yo and 18mo) and am pondering a third. Dh would love one, and I'd love a bigger family, but worry about how I'd cope. I don't want to be a shouty stressed mum and consequently make my dc's childhood less happy. I would say that's more of an issue than anything else - you can use hand-me-down things, kids can share a bedroom if needed. If you think you could cope and would secretly regret not having a third, I would go for it! Just got to convince your dp now!

Hmm good point about him needing the time to come round. I feel I need to pick my moment :o I don't want him to feel I am manipulating him into it though IYSWIM - if he doesn't want this then that's the end of it.

Last year we had a sort of 'scare' - I had loads of pregnancy symptoms even though tests were negative, and due to various pains I ended up with an internal ultrasound. All healthy in there (yay) but I had stupidly got myself totally convinced there would be a tiny baby there on the screen, and when I left I burst into tears. I'd not really even spoken to DH about it properly, which is so unlike us - I just found my feelings really shocked me and I was embarrassed.

I'd got over it though - I mean we would have absolutely dealt with it although it would've been far from ideal (I was still unwell at this point and DH hadn't got his job) so I just told myself it was for the best anyway. Didn't give it another thoughts until maybe about a month ago.

The thing that really worries me is, what if we have a third and I feel the same again? I really couldn't have two so close together again (2.2yrs between mine) so it would have to be my last really given finances and DH's age... but what if the feelings come back AGAIN?

Ugh it's still not going away :( it seeps into my thoughts all the time.

I think I've accepted that I need to actually talk to DH about it, as it's not just going to subside. But I'm dreading it as I know what he will say.