Did you manage to not get cross with potty training?

[LetTheRiverAnswer]

I'm just curious, having just potty trained my second child, if anyone manages to do it without ever getting cross about accidents. I know all the advice is to tidy up matter of factly and to not be cross or make the child feel bad for having an accident, and of course its not fair on the child and doesn't help them to learn...but is it humanly possible to never get a bit cross and ranty when your cleaning up after the upteenth accident, when you've just put yet another load of washing on, the babies trying to crawl through the mess and the toddler is dancing about spreading it all about a bit more?

I don't mean full on shouting sort of cross, more the initial response of "oh no, not again" or "why didn't you say?? When I asked you???" Sort of exasperation that I don't always often manage to suppress

I used the stock phrase of "it doesn't matter, mummy and daddy know you're trying really hard to do your wees and poos in the toilet" occasionally said through gritted teeth

DS would have been told off for dancing around in it though, that's not on.

I managed to remain calm the whole time by doing it in stages, a couple of hours to begin with then back into pull-ups. Couldn't have gone cold turkey. No doubt I wouldn't have been calm if I'd had a baby to sort at that stage too.

This too shall pass OP

It is possible. However I often used to get into the kitchen and mumble FFS to myself to save my own nsanity. Shouting at the child would just make matters worse IMO.

I did get a teeny bit cross when I found a poo perfectly positioned on the Brio bridge.

Accidents I can cope with, but strategic poo placement should always be in the potty!

I'm sorry to admit to going pretty mental a couple of times. Once because DS pooped in his bed and then on a Friday when he'd pooed in his pants every day that week and nursery had sent home in a bag some pants which really should have been binned ...

We plugged away through gritted teeth sometimes and he got their. We found choc buttons worked a treat. And I gave myself one if we'd managed all day without me getting crotchy

Got 'there' is of course what I meant

at the perfectly positioned poo on the brio bridge.
I do alright at the initial stages I think, its the ongoing nearly-there but still having quite a few accidents (poo has been problematic for ds2) which seems to be going on and on. Not helped by having a very interested one year old everywhere I go, who is quite good at making his own mess too... I do try to not be annoyed or at least not show my irritation but it tests the patience some, doesn't it?

No didn't get cross, but then I didn't potty train. I let my kids train themselves- we have never had an accident, day or night.

Dancing around is maybe a bit harsh, he does try to help. That generally makes it worse. He's normally quite good at following instructions but the desperately repeated "ok just stand still until mummy can come-no don't try to take your trousers off and hop to the toilet" etc doesn't seem to sink in. Probably because of the slightly manic tone...

How old were your kids when they trained themselves deepinthewoods?

My children were just a month or two short of their third birthday.

Ooh that's pretty good deepinthewoods. Ds1 and ds2 have started around there third birthday too. They were fairly enthusiastic but didn't initiate it, I wonder when they would have if id left it. No accidents would be amazing!

My children did initiate it although we had discussed it for a few months before. They had no pressure, but were aware that bigger kids and adults used the toilet and just suddenly made the decision one day that nappies were no longer needed. And that was it.

There was some background as to why I allowed them to "self train", but it worked amazingly well and we never looked back. It was all done and dusted in a day.

I found it not to bad but tbh DS was easy to train (he mostly done it himself) but he recently had a regression with it after being dry for months 5 days of wetting himself because he couldn't be bothered to go which I found really frustrating. I just felt like he could do it as was choosing not to so didn't know how to handle it as I didn't want him to think peeing mummies bed because Mr bloody tumble was on was acceptable.

I think the more prepared your are (mattress protectors, lots of spare outfits, bag for wet stuff etc) the easier it is when your caught short it's very frustrating.

Feeling so upset. Potty training my lb and he seems to going backwards at min. Anyway after 2 accidents and two baths he had another accident. I wasn't cross with him for the accident but i was in the middle of breastfeeding my lg and couldn't get up straight away. He started putting his hands in the mess and then in his mouth. I told him to sit still for 1 sec, then he put his hands in through his nicely washed hair and laughed. I then shouted at him, really shouted and he started crying. Feeling like a very bad mummy.

I subscribe to the lazy method - don't train them, let them train themselves. For my twins this was at 3.2, they had maybe rice accidents between them job done.

Not a boast but I really don't think it's worth stressing over getting them trained at 2, having watched friends been through it and taking weeks and weeks to train them.

It's completely ridiculous to assume all children will manage to train themselves without any parental input.

Some children do manage to train without accidents but the vast majority do not.

It makes me really cross that people blithely suggest without considering what the consequences would be for a child who turns out to have a medical issue that's holding them back or is just that kind of child that will have some bad days along the way.

I say that as someone whose child DID have an undiagnosed problem that we would never have known about if we hadn't persisted with potty training, recognised that she did want to do it and was ready but something was holding it back.

[end rant]

And no I have never managed to always be completely calm. Even DS who was very easy to train still had days where he just couldn't be arsed and of course it is annoying!

Yes. I waited until he was ready and he was dry in a day or two with only a couple of accidents. Including overnight at 2y9m.

DD not quite so easy - we had to lift her at nights for a while.

I second that TeWi.

DD1 turned out to have an irritable bladder, urge incontinence and had chronic constipation. She would never have trained if left to it.

I'm really happy for everyone concerned when children toilet train really easily, but it's fucking hell for those of us whose kids don't.

Both trained themselves. Dd just before 2 (age is 2 and 6 days now!. Ds 2.6. Three accidents between them. Dd is is still in nappies overnight.

I had prepared myself for a big thing but in both cases shockingly easy. I would probably have fallen in the "occasionally a bit shouty" camp if it hadn't been so bloody easy. As it happens, I never had anything to be cross about

no. They were in pull ups for months and potty trained just after they were 3. handful of accidents on a laminate floor and it was pretty much done.

Also a subscriber to the lazy method here. Ds1 trained himself with only two accidents at 2.6. No fuss no nothing really. So no I never got cross/exasperated etc. Not boastful just fact.
However I do accept this doesn't always work for all children.
I have two to go (2 and 1) so am hoping the same method works but if it doesn't I'm sure I'll have my exasperated moments.

No. I genuinely never felt like that. We did have a few accidents but I just took it as part of the process.

I did get cross with the dog though the first time DS did a poo in the potty. I was busy dealing with DS and cleaning him up. Turned round and the dog was eating the poo. Boak.